By Heather Kindberg
Certain sex positions facilitate higher levels of emotional intimacy. These positions allow a couple to go beyond their sensory experience, intensifying the intimacy of their encounters and imbuing them with emotional meaning. Eye contact, kissing, caresses, trusting, watching. . . these are emotional complements to the physical experience, and these nine sex positions promote that beautiful, emotional connection.
1. Woman On Top. A man lying down with the woman on top can be a vulnerable position for both lovers, which in itself can create emotional intimacy. He must rely on her decisions, while she is bared and exposed for his perusal. This position is ideal for lots of touching and intimate caresses.
2. Hold Me. In this position the man holds the woman as if she’s just jumped into his arms. With her legs wrapped around his waist and her arms around his neck, this loving position is conducive to slow movements, passionate kisses and romantic swaying.
3. Enhanced Missionary. The missionary position is already intimate, with faces close and full-body contact. To enhance the emotional intimacy, the man can hold the woman’s butt or move his legs to the outside of hers to more fully envelop her body. And if a couple is so inclined, this position also offers a good approach for anal sex by retaining face-to-face emotional intimacy.
4. Spooning. Although there is no eye contact in spooning, this sex position creates intense emotional connectedness as the man protectively cradles the woman with his entire body. It’s also a wonderful position for touching, squeezing, rubbing—and even hand-holding, which can be incredibly intimate during sex.
5. Hands Free. With the man sitting on a chair, and his woman astride him, facing him, with her feet on the floor, the couple not only has face-to-face contact, but also maximum access for tantalizing kisses, whispers. . . and four free hands for touching.
6. Crossed Legs or Lotus. The lotus sex position offers stunning emotional intimacy. With the man sitting cross-legged, or in the actual yogic lotus position, and his woman on his lap, arms and legs wrapped around him, the lovers are fully entwined and face to face. The need for slower, sensual movements in this position adds romantic intensity.
7. Standing Missionary. Turn the missionary position 90 degrees so both people are standing and you’ll find that this full-body-contact sex position has added intensity. Muscles tighten to remain standing and, even with a support behind her, both partners are more physically dependent on each other.
8. Slow Going. In this sex position, the man is seated, legs extended, leaning back on his arms. His woman sits on top facing him, then leans back herself and extends her legs behind him. By necessity, this position requires slow, gentle movements. There is an electric emotional intimacy in not being able to move much, only being able to watch each other.
9. Higher Love. The woman lies on her back at the edge of a bed or another surface, and puts her legs on the standing man’s shoulders. Both lovers share control; the man with the movements, and the woman using her legs to push him back a bit and slow him down, or to let him lean all the way into her.
Which positions create emotional intimacy for you?
Heather Kindberg: I am a writer, an editor and a single mom. I worked in the film industry for most of my career, production managing, writing and directing, and I was previously the editor of IN Hollywood Magazine. I now do freelance writing and editing. To see more writings from Heather visit YourTango.com