By Ilex Bien-Aime
Brothers and sisters do not think that you need more than love in your life and within your marriage. Nothing trumps love, nothing on this earth trumps love! People say that it takes more than love to make a marriage work but I respectfully disagree with that vain philosophy. The battle cry of this day is that “Love don’t pay the bills,” and so we place love in a vacuum or a shallow little box.
Love has never been the problem in this world and love will never be the problem. Love is perfect but we are imperfect human beings and that is why we fail. You say that love does not pay the bills, I say that true love does pay the bills. A man who loves his family, will get up and work even if it means two or three jobs to take care of his family. He will take his Ph.D and throw it away to dig ditches if it meant the survival of his loved ones. It is his love that puts his family first even at his own expense.
Love makes a man wake up everyday of his life to a job that he hates and a boss that he would love to karate chop in the neck, because he wants to provide a better life for his wife and children. Love keeps him from gambling his hard earned money away, love keeps him from smoking his money away, and love keeps him faithful to his wife because he would never want to intentionally disrespect her. Love can’t stop an attractive woman from crossing his path, but love tells him that no matter how fine that woman may be, his heart is at home.
Love is the most over used and misunderstood word in the dictionary. Everyone claims to love but very few people know what true love is. What most people have is infatuation and a shallow sense of the word love. We tend to say that we love someone when all things are perfect but true love is something that shows itself when all hell breaks loose. True love has no conditions added to it. It’s not I will love you if you keep your body tight, it’s not I will love you if you keep me driving a Benz, and it’s not I will love you if you do anything for me.
Love in it’s truest form is an action and a choice. You don’t do it because you get anything in return, you do it because you want to serve others. If love is kind, it is not kind because others are kind to us. If love is patient, it is not patient because everything is to our liking. If that were the case, there would be no need for patience. If love endures, it is not something that people just throw away and set aside so easily. If love seeks to do for others, it does not worry about what have you done for me lately. You see when everything around you is going to hell, love is what should sustain us. What most of us have is not love and so we think that it is not enough, but true love is enough!
Ilex Bien-Aime is an integral part of the BlackLoveAndMarriage.com team. He lives in Washington, DC with his lovely wife. He writes as a man who has seen women mistreat themselves and who have allowed themselves to be mistreated. He writes as a man who wants to give his future daughters a guideline on how to deal with men. Lastly he writes what he writes because his female friends are always asking his opinion about these situations. Connect with Ilex at Iamsayingit.blogspot.com or via email [email protected]