By K.S. Louman
There is no misconception that marriage is easy. Most people know that marriage takes a lot of work, and like any relationship, it evolves – developing a deeper understanding of one another. This evolution of your relationship also creates new challenges – including many bad habits which, if you can identify and avoid, can be easily overcome. Read below for some common bad habits people develop in their marriage, and what potential they can have to ruin your relationship.
#1 Falling into a Routine Just because you are married doesn’t mean you don’t have to try to impress each other anymore. Getting into a routine sometimes means only doing nice things for each other on special occasions like birthdays and Valentine’s Day. Get out of that routine – you should be reminding your spouse of why they fell in love with you, not making them wish you acted more like you did when you were dating.
#2 Avoiding Conflicts Every marriage will have its conflicts and disagreements. But trying to avoid a fight doesn’t make the problem go away, and in fact, it makes it worse by leaving it unresolved. Learn to discuss problems constructively and deal with them in a productive way. Nagging, yelling, and ignoring are not solutions and will only make matters worse. Bring up issues before they get to be serious problems and you may be able to resolve them sooner and with less conflict.
#3 Getting too Comfortable One of the great things about marriage is that you can be yourself and know that your spouse loves you for it. Your days of nervous dating and “do they like me?” are over and aren’t you relieved! However, there is such a thing as being too comfortable. Burping at dinner, leaving dirty laundry around and basically acting like you live with a college roommate instead of your spouse can lead to a serious decline in romance. Be comfortable with your spouse, but also be courteous, considerate and clean.
#4 No Sex One of the main bad habits people fall into in marriage is the lack of a healthy, active sex life. Time consuming work, children, and a boring routine can kill a libido – and have a devastating effect on your relationship. Keep it exciting, even if it means scheduling romantic time together. You’ll both be glad you did.
#5 No Fun Marriage should be fun, not boring or stressful. Be spontaneous! Surprise your spouse after work with tickets to a movie and a nice dinner. Take a weekend trip even if it is just a bed and breakfast an hour away. Having fun doesn’t mean spending lots of time or money. There is no reason that you can’t manage a few hours a week for recreation together. Making time to have fun and relax makes a huge difference in easing a potentially stressful and unromantic marriage.
Like all habits, some are hard to break. If you have found that your marriage has developed these habits, it’s best to talk to your spouse about them and discuss ways that you can both work to revive your marriage and break them together. Maybe you can even start to develop exciting and new healthy habits in your relationship.
K.S. Louman writes relationship advice for www.marriagemax.com. For more information on how to keep your marriage in good shape and overcome bad habits that you may have developed, please visit www.marriagemax.com.