Hello, I would really like you guys advice on something that has been bothering me for 6 years now. My husband and I have been together for about 6 years and have been married for 4 years . We have a 5 yrs.old and a 2 yrs old that are bothautistic. My husband blames me for having our children because when we first had my eldest my husband said that he did not want to be with me any more and did not want a family. After I left him the first time his family wanted to be involved in my son’s life so the convinced him to step up and be a father. After seeing my husband spend with our son I began to fall back in love with him but I guess now I realized he never really wanted to be with me. When my eldest was diagnosed my husband said that he didn’t want any more kids even though he knew that i did want more. Every time he wanted sex he would tell me lets make a baby and then when we fought he would tell me he dose not want to be with me and dose not want to be a father. after about a year of this we separated but he was still coming by and trying to have sex with me. We concieved our soon during that separation and now he blames me for getting pregnant and the fact that my youngest was diagnosed with autism he blames me for it. I now want a divorce but I hate feeling like I still love him. I don’t even know what to do. I He is the only man I have been with and I am afraid of being alone with two kids.What should I do?