A Little Fairy Dust For Your Not So Fairytale Marriage

By Neysa Ellery Taylor

Have you ever noticed that most of my pieces start the same way? With a conversation? Well, this piece is no different. I was having a conversation with a man who was growing increasingly upset with his wife over a myriad of issues. His most poignant statement was “She wants a fairytale and life isn’t a damn fairytale.” That statement stood out in my mind more than anything else he said. Why? Because as a feminist/womanist/black woman in America and lover of all things Pearl Cleage, I know that I should not expect anyone to ride in on a horse and rescue me. The damsel in distress scenario is played out like cassette tapes. But as a child of the TV generation, I have been inundated with images of love scenes in chick flicks, romantic moments on sitcoms, and of course, Cosby Love. Because of this I do have expectations of Magical Moments.

What exactly is a magical moment? A magical moment is a wonderful event where your spouse/partner/boo does something that not only makes you smile but makes everyone you tell about it smile when you recant what happened in a story over dinner. A magical moment makes your sister circle say, “aww that is so sweet. I wish my man did something like that.” A magical moment is just that magical.

Most proposal stories are magical moments. Watch any of the gazillion wedding shows on television. On each one you will see women losing their minds trying to create a magical moment. Magical moments are that important.

Why? Because they give you a reservoir of strength to draw from when the relationship isn’t so magical. When he is on your last nerve and you are ready to call an attorney, thinking back on a magical moment can make you pause and try again. When you are running from work to teeball practice to PTA meetings to the second job, recalling a magical moment gives you energy to keep on keeping on.

Magical moments aren’t solely appreciated by just one gender. Everyone loves a magical moment. They are just different types of moments. For a woman it might be that time where he surprised her with a special romantic getaway. For a man it might be the time when she surprised him with tickets to his favorite team’s big game.

And there are perks for planning a magical moment. Fellas, plan a moment for your wife. Guess what you get? Boom! Bam! A coochie coupon. And wives, plan a moment for your honey. Guess what you get? A trip to Home Depot and the guest bedroom painted. All around a win-win!

No one expects to live out a fairytale but we should expect to visit Neverland from time to time. So spread a little fairy dust around – your marriage will reap the benefits.

Neysa Ellery Taylor lives in Nashville, Tennessee with her husband, Chris, and their 4 children – Asyen, Maya, Preston, and Patrick. An Emmy-Award winning journalist, she hopes to share her passion for marriage and God through her writing. You can read more of her work at www.myriadthatisme.blogspot.com

4 replies
  1. Robin
    Robin says:

    Love it…sometimes u have to reach back to find those moments but then u know it's to to create more. Nice piece,

  2. Tionna
    Tionna says:

    We should expect to visit Neverland from time to time…..yes!

  3. Vikki
    Vikki says:

    I need some fairy dust in my life right about now.

  4. Briana @ 20&Engaged
    Briana @ 20&Engaged says:

    I think we all need/deserve a fairy tale moment every now and then. Our proposal wasn't exactly "magical" but we've had moments where he completely catches me off guard and I grin from ear to ear. It makes the relationship healthy to have peak highs like that.
    My recent post Marriage Monday: Don’t Resent Your Spouse

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