It’s Time To Go To The Next Level. Online Couples & Singles Classes Have Arrived.

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VIDEO: So many of you have asked that we bring what we do online and the time has finally come!!!! Needless to say we are so excited about doing live interactive classes with singles and couples from all over the country at the click of a mouse. Technology is the bomb diggity (ok, corny I know…smile) and we are stretching ourselves, pulling all nighters, and getting it in like never before so we can create the kind of online class experience that will leave you so much stronger, better, and wiser then when you first step foot into our virtual classroom. We are ready for you! Are you ready to grow and learn? Class is in session!

***ONLINE REGISTRATION GOES LIVE TODAY AT 3:00PM***

FOR MORE  DETAILS ABOUT THE CLASSES PLEASE CLICK HERE!

Are Threesomes And Marriage A Dangerous Mix?

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VIDEO: It seems like this is a hot topic these days. A wife wrote in who’s interested in bringing a 3rd person into her and her husband’s bedroom. But she wants to know if moving into menage a trois land is just too dangerous for marriage. She also asks for ways to bring this up with her husband. Weeell, how do you think we responded??? You’ll never guess so go ahead and click play and then take a minute to leave a comment letting us know what you think about this. Agree…disagree, it really doesn’t matter. There is always more than one way and certainly more than one perspective so share yours and don’t forget to keep it 100% real! 🙂

Are You A Married “Single Parent”?

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By Neysa Ellery Taylor

I’m a bad b*tch. I really am. I can work all day, come home, take care of the kids, put dinner on the table, fold some laundry, write a blog post, make love to my husband and make it all look easy. That’s on Monday. On Tuesday, I am doing it all over again. By Wednesday, I am tired and by Sunday, I’m a bit cranky. Why? Because while I can do it all (and make it look easy), I shouldn’t have to. And neither should you. You should not be a married “single parent.”Did you notice that I did not write “single mother?” I purposefully wrote single parent because either gender can mentally check out of a marriage/family. I’ve even devised a little test to help you figure out if you have checked out of your family life:
1. Can you name all of your child’s teachers?
2. Can you put away the laundry in your home? Do you know where everything goes?
3. When something goes wrong in your household, do the kids walk past you and go searching for your spouse to fix it?
4. Do you abdicate responsibility and leave it up to your spouse to make the big decisions?
5. Is your word your bond? Does your family believe that you are going to do what you say you are going to do?
So how did you score? Are you the overachieving parent or the slacker parent? See there are problems with both. The “married single parent” feels as if they have no help and they have to do it all. This parent juggles entirely too much and is probably worn out. They are no longer serving their family in love. They are serving their family but totally pissed about not getting any help. But the reality is, they created this monster. The “married single parent” never asked for any help in the beginning so years later the slacker spouse has no idea where they fit in. The “married single parent” thinks that “if I don’t do it, it will never get done.”

The “slacker parent” doesn’t know how to jump into the family life again. They don’t want to do something wrong so it is easier to just stay out of it. The slacker parent tried to jump into the fray but got shot down when they didn’t do it the way the other parent did.

Do either of these parents sound familiar? So now what? How can they both turn into effective co-parents? Simple answer: the married single parent has to loosen the reins and give the slacker parent freedom to fail. The slacker parent has to assert themselves and complete tasks. That’s the simple answer. But what does that actually look like?

Tips for the Married Single Parent:
1. Open your mouth. Share your to-do list with your spouse.
2. Give your spouse room to fail. If they make a mistake, don’t rub their nose in it.
3. Let them do things their way. Who cares if they fold towels in squares instead of rectangles? Let them do it their way. Bottom line is it’s getting done.

Tips for the Slacker Parent:
1. Complete a task. Complete a task, any task. Boost your self-confidence by completing something on your to-do list.
2. Ask for help, guidance if you need it. If you haven’t been involved in a while, it’s ok to ask for help. But remember you are asking for help, not asking for your spouse to take over.
3. Make your word your bond. If you say you are going to do something, do it. Your spouse learns to trust you to help by the things that you do, not the things that you say you are going to do.

Bottom line: There is always going to be an ebb and flow to marriage and co-parenting. Sometimes you will do more, others your spouse will. But if you work to make sure that the tide doesn’t always flow one way, then you can go from a “married single parent” to an “effective co-parent.”

Neysa Ellery Taylor is an integral part of the writing team here at Blackloveandmarriage.com. She lives in Nashville, Tennessee with her husband, Chris, and their 4 children – Asyen, Maya, Preston, and Patrick. An Emmy-Award winning journalist, she hopes to share her passion for marriage and God through her writing. You can read more of her work atMyriadthatisme.blogspot.com.

Its National Marriage Week! What Will YOU do to strengthen your marriage?

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Today is the first day of National Marriage Week! What will you do to strengthen the image and concept of marriage in your community?

So, just what is National Marriage Week?

National Marriage Week USA—from February 7th to 14th every year — is a collaborative effort to encourage many diverse groups to strengthen individual marriages, reduce the divorce rate, and build a stronger marriage culture, which in turn helps curtail poverty and benefits children. Together we can make more impact than working alone.

There’s so much you can do:

* For an extensive listing of other creative ideas for how to Strengthen Marriage in Your Community here’s 101 Ideas to Get You Started

*Become a Marriage Educator. An extensive listing of training programs is offered by Smart Marriages, a national clearinghouse of marriage educators.

* Use the wonderful and positive energy from National Marriage Week to get ready for Black Marriage Day coming up on March 27, 2011!

But, remember true change and commitment starts at home!  So you can:

Take a Couples’ Check-Up! Both husband and wife can take this nationally renowned “Couple’s Check Up” quiz, developed by Prepare-Enrich, which will generate a report for you about your relationship. This is a productive way to have a conversation and move forward with growth and change in ways to strengthen your marriage. Maybe use the results as a topic for discussion on a special weekend retreat or date night—even Valentine’s Day!

Onemillionloveletters.com will provide an effortless and inspiring website that will guide you through the process of writing a love letter. Select your stationery; add a photo or a quote. Not a writer? Not to worry. A guided writer will help you find the words.

And, of course you can browse our 150+ Love & Marriage video catalogue throughout the website here but while you’re at it check out another route to see all of the videos in one place by visiting and subscribing to our YOUTUBE channel. 🙂

Happy National Marriage Week! Tell your sweetie you love them today…..better yet SHOW them. 😉

You Down With Public Displays Of Connection?

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VIDEO: We’re revisiting an old show today. Why? Because, it is so so important. More important than either you or I can probably grasp. Ask an African-American teenager whether or not they want to get married. Boy or girl, most likely their answer will be a resounding “No”. Shoot…ask a grown man or woman and you’ll more than likely get a blank stare or a  “What for?” Why is this?! Because, what they see of marriage and love in our community is NOT convincing, attractive or positive. Our mentor ,Wedded Bliss Foundation , Executive Director, Nisa Muhammad says that “oftentimes we are not good advertisements for marriage.” We gripe more about the negatives than the positives. Our public display, more often than not, sends the message that we are tolerating each other versus the message that we love, accept, adore, and respect each other.

QUESTION: Have you ever stopped to think about the image that you and your spouse project when you leave out of your front door every day? What does your public display say about you?

Do You Really Understand The Power Of Touch In Your Relationship?

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VIDEO: Do you have special people in your life? Is your man or woman a unique, irreplaceable, and special part of your existence? If the answer is yes….let me ask you….does he/she know? It’s important that you let the people you love know that you love them and why you love them. ….. It doesn’t always have to be through words..sometimes a simple touch can say what words can never convey. Listen in to truly understand why & how you should Recognize your sweetheart through touch, Reassure you baby through touch, and Revitalize yourself and the relationship through touch. You and your relationship deserve it.

Do Different Economic Upbringings Impact Marriage?

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VIDEO: It’s easy to approach life assuming that our current experiences are independent of our past circumstances. Oftentimes, we like to think that the “present” is all there is. While this philosophy has merit…it would be foolish to divorce ourselves from the “Past” and it’s influence over who we are today. When we enter into relationships we bring that “Past” with us. So, when you and your spouse’s background and past experiences differ as it pertains to class, education, religion, etc. how do you make a relationship work? A viewer wrote in asking us whether or not differences in economic upbringings and backgrounds impact marriage. What do we think? Absolutely. Listen in to hear an example and let us know what you think by leaving a comment or submitting a video response.

Do Something Different.Do Something New. Do Something For Your Relationship. Do Something For You!

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Basic Training For Couples Registration is happening now. Will you be there? Let’s predict the conversation….

Partner 1: You know that Basic Training class…the couples class I was telling you about? It starts September 28th.

Partner 2: Oh, yeah? What’s the point of it though? Isn’t it for people who have alot of problems?

Partner 1: I think it really doesn’t matter. You can be having no problems or be on the verge of divorce.

Partner 2: We’re fine. I mean, what they gon’ tell me that I don’t already know? Most people know what they need to do they just don’t do it, ya know?

Partner 1: Yeah, I know….that’s exactly why I think we should go.

This is just one of how many conversations will go between couples when talking about taking a relationship class. There is usually one person who is curious or feels they need it and there is usually one person who thinks it’s just not that serious. If you or your sweetie is unsure about whether this class is for you drop us a line or give us a call at 1-888-307-7970. We won’t hesitate to answer any and all of your questions. Do something different. Do something new. Do something for your relationship. Do something for you! This is the perfect opportunity for you to Stop Playing & Start Pushing.

Click here for frequently asked questions and here for registration information.

BASIC TRAINING FOR COUPLES REGISTRATION HAS BEGUN!

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This class is not what you think and more than you expect. No matter what your thoughts are about a “relationship class” you have never experienced anything like Basic Training For Couples. It is one of the most effective and respected relationship curriculums in this country.  You’ve also never experienced the kind of clarity, honesty, and laughter that Ayize and Aiyana bring to each of their classes and their couples—Never.

I wish I could explain to you what these classes can do for your relationship and for your own personal development. I wish you could understand that it’s not only the classes but it’s the process in and of itself. The process of coming together with other couples, sharing, being real, stretching, and growing with your partner and with each other is what will change you and your relationship forever. Click here for frequently asked questions about our class. Click here to register.

A Love Letter To My Husband: From Aiyana To Ayize

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Ayize doesn’t know I’m doing this but I just had to…. I was so inspired by a song I heard yesterday on one of my Facebook Friends pages. It just made me think about my relationship with my bestfriend, my boy, my confidante, my lover, my husband—Ayize Ma’at and I knew what I needed to do.

Dear Ayize,

I’m taking the time today to make sure you know…… I want you to be ever so clear about the depth of my love for you and my commitment to you, our marriage, and our family. I need you to know the impact you’ve had on my life. Ayize, the love I have for you is overwhelming and indescribable. I heard a song yesterday by Kindred The Family Soul. It’s called “Stars” and I just “felt” it when I heard it. But, the reason I felt it baby is because of you. It’s because of you that the wounds that my “on again, off again” father left early on in my life haven’t stayed as deep and painful as they used to be. It’s because of you that today I can say that I honestly know what it feels like to trust someone  completely. It’s because of your willingness to hold on tight and never let go that I know what commitment is really about in the first place. It’s because of your cool calmness that I have been able to really look at myself and learn new ways of being and communicating. It’s because of your ability to affirm me and allow me to be me that I have the self assured confidence that I have about myself….it’s because of you Ayize. When I begin to doubt myself and feel fear creeping up from behind I now know to deliberately stop whatever I’m doing, pause, and say to myself the words you first said to me “Just be”. It’s because you aren’t ashamed to say you love me, respect me, and see greatness in me that it makes it all the more easy for me to look at myself and find the greatness too. It’s because of your honesty with me…your willingness to call me out but then kiss me on the forehead or the nape of my neck that I have been able to learn how to accept and grow from criticism instead of letting it seep into my spirit and kill my self-esteem. It’s because of your vulnerability and your sharing your secrets with me that I feel and know that I’m important enough and worthy to be trusted. I love traveling life’s journey with you baby. So much of who I am today and have yet to be is because of you. Thank you King. I love you. Today. Tomorrow. Forever.

Here are the lyrics that inspired this letter. Listen to the song below.

Listen to the song below…

“We’ve come so far

Stars look up to you, baby

My heart belongs

Right here next to you, baby”

As always, leave a comment or submit a video response. Anyone out there inspired to do their own video love letter to their sweetie? Send it in and we’ll put it up! Here’s the song that inspired my love letter to my husband…..

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