The Ma’ats Spend Quality Time During The African American Family Day At The National Zoo

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Monday was Washington D.C.’s annual African American Family Day at the National Zoo. We’d been hearing about the event for several years…some positive and some negative. This year we decided to venture downtown to check out the festivities. To be honest we had mixed feelings during our experience. Of course we love our people and whenever we have the opportunity to be at a gathering where the intention is to lift up black family that’s all the more better. It was definitely good seeing families out and about having a good time. It was also disturbing to see an overwhelming number of youth behaving in a disrespectful manner in the presence of elders, men, women and children.  Some of the behavior made me ask myself “Is African American Family Day at the National Zoo because some think and feel that such a location best suits our people?”  Just a fleeting thought.  I did google the event when I got home and learned that the free gathering dates back to the 1890s. Oral history says that black domestic workers were required to work on Easter, so Monday was the day of family celebration.  All in all we had a good time…..but I must say…Parents get your kids in check. It’s absolutely senseless that a young boy was “jumped” and stabbed while we were there.

These are just a few of the comments I’ve seen since on various websites since the ruckus happened.

“Such a lovely culture they have.”

“If they insist on acting like animals then we have to treat them like animals.”

“The whole area entailing Washington DC and Prince George’s County Maryland ,IS the National Zoo.”

“…and obviously the zoo is precisely where these animals belong.”

B INTENTIONAL……STOP PLAYIN – START PUSHIN


The Resurrection Of The Black Family

By John Lewis Jr.

I admit that I had deep reservations about writing this essay.  I had doubts, uncertainties, and insecurities.  Would I be able to clearly and concisely capture my strong opinions and emotions about a sensitive subject and its relevance in history?  After much deliberation, I decided I had no choice but address this topic that merited my attention. Ultimately, my subject chose me as a conduit to reveal both unpleasant truths (past and present) and hope for the future.

Writing about issues of race is challenging.  As much as our society has evolved, most people are uncomfortable with the realities of slavery in America and its aftermath.  I suspect this is one of the reasons J. H. Plumb neglected to make any references to the black family in America or its unique history in his essay, “The Dying Family” (Plumb 6-10).  Hundreds of years of slavery killed the original African family unit. However, contrary to Plumb’s assertions regarding the fragmenting of family life in general, the black American family is reinventing itself and becoming more cohesive.

It is impossible to consider the plight and future of the black American family without first considering family life in sub-Saharan Africa before slavery spread throughout the Western world.  Nathan Irvin Huggins, a professor of history at Columbia University states, “the traditional family in Africa extended itself beyond the nuclear group, linking in mutual obligation much of the village itself” (Huggins 162).  An African village thrived when its families fulfilled specific needs of the collective group.  There was little sense of individualism or autonomy.  Each family in a village benefited from the success of other families in the village.  Likewise, if the village suffered economic or social hardship, all of its families were affected.  For instance, if there was a severe drought, the entire village was susceptible to famine.  Therefore, the families of the village cooperated with one another to secure food from other sources.  If a family stored food in preparation of a natural disaster, it was shared with the other village families without expectation of payment in return.  The village was the extension of family.  This type of organization worked because every family made contributions to benefit their neighbors.  Within individual families, the hierarchical arrangement meant that each family member fulfilled an important, valuable role.  Ownership of property was collective.  This concept is difficult to fathom because we live in a world where the entrepreneurial spirit is prized and individual success is valued.  However, traditional family life in Africa was successful within a very different social dynamic, and had been successful for centuries, perhaps millenniums, in Africa (Huggins 162).  Unfortunately, the slave trade permanently disrupted this way of life for about ten million Africans sold into slavery (Blassingame 5).

The Western concept of ownership could not have been fathomed by most Africans.  Africans sold into slavery became property.  Lack of ownership of their very bodies made traditional family life impossible.  They were no longer members of a collective village.  In fact, the family unit itself was destroyed.  John W. Blassingame, former professor of history at Yale University, asserts “the most brutal aspect of slavery was the separation of families” (Blassingame 173).  Some owners of slaves prohibited marriage between slaves.  If slaves were permitted to marry, they faced the reality that they would not be able to care for and raise their own children.  They lived in constant fear of separation from their offspring; the weight of this real threat no doubt haunted them.  A miserable condition of the absence of a cohesive, permanent family lasted “between the sixteenth and the mid-nineteenth century” for enslaved Americans (Blassingame 5).  But would the destruction of the traditional African family permanently disable blacks in America from creating a new family model?  American history reveals that they eventually were able to reestablish family life.

Reestablishment of the black family structure did not happen immediately when slavery became illegal and blacks were granted freedom.  Sometimes, newly freed blacks traveled hundreds of miles to reunite their families and search for relatives.  Usually, their searches were fruitless, leaving them with no choice but to begin new lives, forever separated from relatives (Huggins 239-240).  Huggins even argues that “the loss of communality” continued to have disastrous consequences on the black family over seven decades into the twentieth-century (Huggins 246).  This account of black history is painful, but it is a story that would not be hopeless.

In recent years, historians have observed the resilience of the black family unit despite media depictions of desperation.  Stephanie Coontz, an historical author at Evergreen State College, notes that “young African Americans receive less material aid from their families and contribute more income to their families than do white youth” (Coontz 189).  Coontz also relates other positive trends among black families in comparison to their white counterparts.  For example, African-American women have made “the largest income gains relative to men of any economic group” (Coontz 254).  Black high school seniors are setting the trend for the decline in drug use in schools. Black husbands do more to support their wives in housework and childcare than white husbands (Coontz 254).  This is just a truncated list of reasons why one can be optimistic about the future of the black family.  There is more powerful evidence than these facts.

During the early 1980’s, blacks discovered a new way to “redefine and rebuild the family social system,” according to M.H. Zoll, a national free-lance journalist (Zoll).  They began a tradition of annual family reunions.  Extended families began to meet during summers over three-day weekends. Reconnection with family guided those who spearheaded the reunions.  Now, every year, thousands of American black families unite in celebration of their kinship and heritage.  Ancient African traditions are “revitalized” (Zoll).  The youngest members of families are exposed to the history, stories, and legends passed down from the oldest family members.  Together, extended families are able to trace their family roots using census data, property records, and real estate deeds through access of public records now available on government information internet sites (Zoll).  Hard work and ingenuity have resulted in the organization of sustainable reunions, often resulting in complex webs of extended families linked across the country.

Despite this marvelous progress, it would be inaccurate to depict family life among all black Americans as being utopian.  Single parenthood, unemployment, and poor housing are still problems that adversely affect maintaining a nuclear family among blacks.  These same issues are faced, not only by blacks, but by other poverty stricken ethnic groups.  These are not racial problems. They are socio-economic problems that plague modern society as a whole (Coontz 253).

Works Cited

Blassingame, John W.  The Slave Community–Plantation Life in the Antebellum South.  New York: Oxford University Press, Inc.  1972.

Coontz, Stephanie.  The Way We Never Were. New York: Harper Collins Publishers, Inc.  1992.

Huggins, Nathan Irvin.  Black Odyssey–The African-American Ordeal in Slavery.  New York: Random House, Inc.  1977.

Plumb, J. H.  “The Dying Family”  The Little, Brown Reader.  Ed.  Marcia Stubbs, Sylvan Barnet, and William E. Cain.  New York: Pearson Longman, 2006.  6-10.

Zoll, M. H.  “Modern African-American Families Gain Strength from Tradition.” 19 Aug. 1999. American News Service. 19 Feb. 2008 <http.//berskshirepublishing.com/ans/HTMView.asp?parltem=S031000102A>.

A Conversation Over Sugar Balls

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VIDEO:  Family time is one of those unique opportunities where if you’re in tune you can gain real appreciation for the value of life and love.  In this video, our oldest child is up a couple of hours past his bedtime while he and his Mom make sugar balls for school tomorrow.  We all have a little lighthearted conversation while we share what we got going on and what we got coming up in the near future.  We figured…the sugar balls gotta get done…a video has to get done…why not do them together.

Ma’at Family Toasts To 1 Year Of Black Love & Marriage.com

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VIDEO: There’s a whirlwind of activity over here at BLAM but we can’t get so caught up in busting our tails that we forget to take time out to say Yay!!!!! We are celebrating one year since we formally took what we do to the next level and entered the online world. This year has been nothing short of miraculous and I am in awe of what the Creator can do when you allow yourself to be the Universe’s best expression!  So,we want to send a very intentional huge thank you to each of you who have helped us get to this point and always have an encouraging word or a new perspective for us to consider. We are thankful for you all. Let’s keep pushing together and don’t foget to check out our newest endeavor PurposePusher.com.

Love Ya’ll!

Ayize & Aiyana

Celebrate Black Marriage Day In Washington, DC With Us!

Black Marriage Day is 3 days away! Will you be celebrating? You certainly should be! Healthy relationships & marriages used to be and can be yet again the backbone of our community. If you are in the Washington,DC Metropolitan area come join us in celebrating this very special day! The Marriage First Project has so graciously asked Ayize & I to emcee/host the Black Marriage Day event in the Washington, DC area. Whatever you do, find an event and celebrate!!!

In the DC Metro Area? Join us!

EVENT DETAILS:

  • WHEN: Sunday, March 27, 2011

  • TIME: 3-6 PM

  • WHERE: Greater Mount Calvary Holy Church, Kristel Room 610 Rhode Island Ave. NE Washington, DC 20002

Dinner & a Movie

Screening of New Film “Men Ain’t Boys”

Vow Renewal Ceremony

Honoring DC parents married after October 2008

FREE ~ Limited Seating ~ RSVP by March 25

Email Diane Sims-Moore at info@marriagefirstproject.org or call 202-450-5023

To learn more about Black Marriage Day, CLICK HERE.

Black Marriage Day 2011: Married And Proud Of It!

Black Marriage Day is right around the corner and  we are so excited! Will you be celebrating? You certainly should be! Healthy relationships & marriages used to be and can be yet again the backbone of our community. Read below the information from the  official Black Marriage Day website. Learn more about Black Marriage Day’s founder, Nisa Muhammad, here. Scroll below to see the flyer advertising the Black Marriage Day event Ayize & I have been asked to emcee/host in the Washington, DC area. Whatever you do, find an event and celebrate!!!

Join us March 27, as more than 300 communities and neighborhoods across the country organize events to celebrate marriage in the Black community. Black Marriage Day 2010 was another incredible success. From the cities that debuted You Saved Me, to the cities that promoted Tyler Perry’s movie “Why Did I Get Married Too”, to the cities that inducted couples into their Black Marriage Day Hall of Fame to the couples who just reminded each other how special they are in their lives, BMD was another beyond words event.

2011 events promise to be even better. There are many things you can do. We are debuting another new movie, Men Ain’t Boys, this year in 100 cities. It’s not too late to get in that number. Go to the Movie Debut page to see a clip from this year’s movie, find out how to get involved and see a clip from last year’s movie You Saved Me. Visit the Resources page for ideas and documents you can download to enhance your event. Listen to Super Bowl winning Coach Tony Dungy speak about Black Marriage Day.

Consider inducting couples into your Black Marriage Day Marriage Hall of Fame. Many cities held fabulous events last year that told the joy and pain of couples struggling against odds to have wedded bliss. We give you everything you need to have a memorable event. Find details on the Resources page.

Any entity, individual or family interested in celebrating the joy of marriage in the Black community can host a Black Marriage Day event. Organize couples in your family, social or work group to stand up on Black Marriage Day and celebrate marriage. The goal is to change the hearts and minds of the Black community to cherish and celebrate the marriages that we currently have while encouraging others to commit themselves to marriage so more children grow up with the gift of a two parent family. For more ideas go to the More to Do page.

For more information email us at info@blackmarriageday.com or call 202-544-1936.

Black Father’s Day Is March 19, 2011!

Bet you’ve never heard of Black Father’s Day. Why? The reason is because it’s relatively new but it’s catching on and we are so happy to support it and help spread the word here at BlackLoveAndMarriage.com. Black Father’s Day was created by Matt Prestbury out of Baltimore, MD.

Matt began his efforts to uplift Black Fathers by starting a Facebook group for black fathers to connect and support each other. Matt, himself, is a father of four and a husband. Matt wanted to create a site to highlight the efforts and actions of involved fathers all over the country and beyond. Through the group, Black men from all walks have connected with each other, and shared pictures of themselves and their families, words of support and encouragements, advice, and much more.

Matt was inspired by Kenda Bell initially, and by Kevin James after that, to start an internet radio show to further promote the efforts, and serve as another vehicle by which he could showcase great fathers, and discuss issues that we are all facing. Hosted by Matt and Kevin, Black Fathers Radio gives a voice to the many faces that we see out there raising their children, bucking the trends, and destroying the myths and stereotypes about the Black Father.

Support Black Father’s Day! Here are the details from the National Black Fathers’ Facebook Page!

Time

Saturday, March 19 · 12:00am – 11:30pm

Location

Wherever your child is or children are

Created By

Black Fathers

More Info

Peace. Please join us in launching what we would love to see become an annual event, every third Saturday in March, National Black Fathers’ Day. Children and mothers, show the Black father in your life just how much he means to you. Fathers get deeply involved in activities and events that show our children just how much we truly love them even more than we normally show them on a day-to-day basis. This day is also designed to commemorate the launch of Black Fathers facebook group in March of ’09. We are looking to get activities and event going in cities and towns across the country. Please step up and organize in your area. Please contact us at blackfathersradio@gmail.com.

We have great respect and love for Matt and what he has done and continues to do in the minds and hearts of Black Fathers everywhere! Good Black Fathers do exist. Hold it down on Black Father’s Day and do your thang Black Men! Visit Matt Prestbury’s website BlackFathersonline.com.

New YOUTUBE Song Defending Lil Wayne & Challenging Little Girls ” Letter To Little Wayne”

VIDEOS: You may have seen the music video by a 9 and 10 year old girl challenging Lil Wayne and the messages and images he sends out in his music. It has almost 200,000 views on YOUTUBE and has gotten a lot of support as would be expected. Who can really disagree with 2 little African American girls who say they’re “representing”? ” Apparently, quite a few people can and have. One such example is a young man whose YOUTUBE channel is called CHASEMILLIONZ. He’s written and recorded a song in defense of Lil Wayne. So, while there are many people who support the little girls’ message….there are also many who are criticizing them for criticizing Lil Wayne. Take a listen to both songs below and let us know what you think. Let’s get some Real Talk going…

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Youtube Video Description: “Letter to Lil Wayne” is a direct statement of justice from Watoto From The Nile. Growing tired and fed up with the constant degredation of Black women inside of Hip Hop music, they voice thier views and opinions on this melodic track. Visit their YOUTUBE CHANNEL HERE. A line from their song: “My daddy told me I’m a queen but you call women other things. It makes me mad. I can’t pretend. Don’t call me out my name again.”

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Youtube Video Description:  Lil Wayne is probably too busy to respond so I did. Visit his YOUTUBE CHANNEL HERE. A line from this young man’s song: “You point a finger…criticize a man’s art…don’t know what he went through…what experience has shaped his heart.”

“A Black Woman’s Worth: My Queen and Backbone” Movie Showing This Weekend In DC Area!

TRAILER: A colleague and friend to us here at BLAM, Dwayne L. Buckingham, is helping to shatter stereotypes and rebuild the hearts and minds of black women from the inside out. He’s made a film to celebrate and lift up black women every where and we love him for it.

If you are in the DC Metropolitan area you NEED to make your way out to support him and this great work on March 5, 2011 at 2pm. There is only one screening in D/M/V (DC Md,Va area)

The film’s big premiere will be held during the much anticipated R.E.A.L. Love Celebration Weekend in St. Louis, Missouri March 24-26 at the Tivoli Theatre. There will be a Film Premiere and Panel Discussion of “A Black Woman’s Worth: My Queen and Backbone”, live musical performance, spoken word performance, and educational presentations. If you’re in the St. Louis area and want (or maybe need) to attend CLICK HERE FOR MORE DETAILS.

But, in the meantime if you’re in the DMV you get access to the exclusive screening on March 5, 2011 from 2- 3 p.m.at New Carrollton Library Get your tickets now: queenandbackbone.eventbrite.com. Check out the trailer and the film synopsis below.

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Black communities throughout the world continue to face serious social dilemmas which jeopardize and disenfranchise black women. Psychotherapist and film producer, Dwayne L. Buckingham shows males and females of all ages how to initiate meaningful dialogue and change their negative and degrading perceptions of Black women. This positive and uplifting film, “A Black Woman’s Worth: My Queen and Backbone” empowers Black women to recognize their personal and ancestral worth and celebrates them by providing strategies to prevent demoralization and burnout. Behold, Black women are beautiful. Black women are powerful. Black women are extraordinary…they are Queens.

Not in the DMV or Missouri area? PRE-ORDER your copy HERE.

To learn more about Dwayne Buckingham and his work, visit him at www.realhorizonsdlb.com

Will The Attack On Planned Parenthood Hurt African Americans The Most?

No matter where you fall as it relates to abortion, young people and access to sexual health, or introducing contraception to young folks you have to know that there will be serious consequences for decreasing funding for Planned Parenthood’s work. The bottom line is that less money for Planned Parenthood will mean less access for the underserved and often forgotten….those usually without healthcare or a primary physician. What this impact could look like…..only time will tell. Check out what Lori Adelman from The Grio.com thinks about it below and then weigh in with your thoughts.

In Ms. Williams’* health class at a South Central Los Angeles high school, the students were full of questions.

“Where can I get checked out if I don’t have a lot of money?”

“Do those birth control pills my sister bought off the street corner really work?”

“Should I be nervous about the quality of care I’ll receive at the local clinic?”

Ms. Williams’ students reflect the mindset and situation of many Planned Parenthood clients: They understand the importance of “getting checked out”, but are often living in poverty, uninsured, or under-informed about where to obtain health services. And many of them are women and men of color. In 2009, 15 percent of Planned Parenthood clients were black. That’s more than 400,000 people. The number of black patients has been steadily increasing in recent years, with the number of black men visiting Planned Parenthood clinics increasing by a whopping 225 percent over the past 9 years.

Such are the inadvertent casualties of last Friday’s Republican-led attack on Planned Parenthood. In a measure known as the Pence Amendment (named for its sponsor congressman Mike Pence), the organization would be prohibited from receiving federal funds for any of its activities. The Pence Amendment was approved 240-185.

If the resolution is allowed to go into law as is, the nation’s most trusted name in sexual and reproductive health care will lose government support to provide family planning, contraception, lifesaving cancer screenings, annual medical exams, and testing and treatment for sexually transmitted infections to millions of Americans.

Such a budget cut would trickle down to Planned Parenthood’s more than 820 local health centers nationwide and have devastating consequences for people like Ms. Williams’ students, who have few health care options, are predominantly black, and rely on the services of local clinics for access to high-quality and low-cost sexual and reproductive care.

As Ms. Williams sees it, the government is moving in the wrong direction by voting to defund the beloved health care organization. “We don’t need the government to be taking away funding from these clinics; if anything we need to be strengthening and increasing their efforts,” she stated. “Especially in the black community, we need more information and services because there is so much unmet need.”

The “unmet need” Williams refers to is real. According to a recent Hart Research survey, 54 percent of African-American women ages 18-34 have experienced difficulty purchasing birth control and using it consistently because it was too expensive. And African-American women have almost three times the unintended pregnancy rate of white women.

It’s obvious that our community can’t afford to have our services cut back now.

B Intentional Family, weigh in on this. Do you think cutting back Planned Parenthood’s funding will cut off critical healthcare options for black folks the most and do you think that it’s a sacrifice that needs to be made or will it make the issues worse?


CLICK HERE for the full story.