*** A L E R T *** PRICE CHANGE COMING April 2nd !!! Get Or Gift A RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENT Today.

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What’s up BLAM Fam…we wanted you all to be the first to know that come April 2, 2012 the fee for our RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENT will be increasing from $47 to $87.  The introductory price of $47 was only for an initial trial period and based on industry norms we’ve finally decided increase the price and charge close to what the RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENT is actually worth.  For what we’re providing $87 is still an excellent deal.  You’re probably thinking “But, $47 was an even better deal”.  We hear you and we feel you and that’s why we’re still allowing you to purchase the ASSESSMENT for $47 up until 04/02/12.  On 04/02/12 the price will increase to $87…..AND AS YOU CAN SEE THE CLOCK IS WINDING DOWN ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THIS PAGE…. So don’t delay.

*NOTE*  You don’t have to use the ASSESSMENT as soon as you receive it….you can use it in the future when you really need it, just present us with your electronic receipt.

*NOTE*  You can purchase the assessment as a gift for someone else that you think needs some clarity in their relationship.  You can purchase more than one RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENT.  Whomever you’re purchasing it for would just have to provide us with electronic receipt or receipt number.

*NOTE*  You don’t have to be in a relationship to get the RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENT.  If you would like to know what internal barriers you have, or emotional baggage you need to unpack to clear the way for a relationship…..this ASSESSMENT WILL HELP YOU WITH THAT.

BLAM Fam we implore you to take advantage of this excellent opportunity.  Again the price will go up from a STEAL $47 TO A GOOD DEAL $87 on 04/02/12.  If you want to get the RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENT and hold onto it while it’s still at a ridiculously low price  ACT NOW.

This is what someone said that just recently purchased the RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENT:

“Thank you for taking the time to make something like this. it helped answer some things i haven’t been looking at as well as make me think about things i couldn’t fully answer.” – Anonymous (for identity protection)

If you need answers about your relationship or know someone who needs answers about their relationship… GET THE RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENT BELOW!

We feel that the fastest and most efficient way to fix a broken relationship is to first get a clear understanding of why it’s broken.    You may currently be in a healthy relationship that could use a dose of passion.  You may currently be in a hum drum relationship that is weighing heavily on your heart as you watch the days and years slowly pass by.  You may be ready to walk out the door and turn towards a new life as you turn your back on your relationship.  Whatever the need….WE ARE HERE TO HELP.

 

 

Are you unsure about the status of your relationship?

Do you want to know whether you should stay or you should leave?

Do you want to know if 10 years from now you’ll be stuck in the same emotional space?

Do you want to know if you’ll ever trust or be trusted again?

Do you want to know if increased intimacy is a real possibility for you and your partner?

Do you want to know if it’s possible to overcome your issues?

Do you want to know if your partner still loves you ?

Do you want to know if he/she will cheat again?

 

If you find yourself in your relationship on a regular basis confused, angry, uncertain, detached, or sad and you genuinely want to know, “Where are we going from here??  We have the answer for you.  We, Ayize & Aiyana Ma’at have created a Relationship Assessment Questionnaire that will give you insight about you and your relationship by exposing underlying strengths and weaknesses of your relationship dynamic.  Along with asking thought provoking questions, we provide a 1-2 page assessment within 24 – 72 hrs detailing what we think about your answers and how they relate to the pertinent issues you’re currently having in your relationship.

We know confusion is NO FUN so we aim to assist you in achieving clarity whether you choose to remain in your current relationship or decide to end it.    We understand that peace of mind is of utmost importance to you therefore we are making a commitment to you to be honest, direct, and sensitive about your situation in our assessment.  We want what’s best for you. Our objective is simple…we want to help you be healed, happy, and whole.

ADVANTAGES of GETTING AN ASSESSMENT FROM US

– receive a sense of clarity about where your relationship stands and where it is going

–  learn what you need to do to have peace of mind in your relationship

-gain an understanding of the underlying barriers blocking quality time and what you can do to increase it

-learn how to communicate the things that are hard to say

– understand gender differences and why your spouse does what they do

WHAT MAKES WORKING WITH US DIFFERENT THAN WORKING WITH MOST OTHER PROFESSIONALS ?

– we are married and have been together for 17 years (we have history and can represent the male/female points of view to you)

– we have 4 children (we know about shared responsibility and can empathize with you)

– we’ve experienced DRAMA (communication issues, money issues, trust issues, etc) in our relationship (we can relate to you)

– we have assisted over 100,000 couples improve the quality of their relationship (we have experience with couples in similar situations as you)

– we are both certified marriage educators and Aiyana is a licensed therapist (we have credentials)

Aside from being married and doing your assessment together I think the greatest advantage is that…

WE GENUINELY CARE ABOUT YOU.

Here’s what some have said about us and the service we provide:

— “I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!! YOU SEEM TO HAVE THE RIGHT WORDS AT THE RIGHT TIME WHEN IM GOING THROUGH SOME TOUGH TIMES IN MY RELATIONSHIP!!!”
— “Super helpful! I can’t thank you enough for this.”
— “Whoooo! Yess!! I needed to hear this message today. Yall just don’t know. I appreciate you guys. Please don’t stop doing what you do!”
— “i love you guys, aiyana, u inspire me sooooooo much, i trully admire u, as a young woman of 27 years young (lol) i just aspire to be like women in ur category, by that i mean, (not category) but of your stature or shall i say emotional beauty.”
— “I appreciate the work that the two of you do and your advice is on point.”
—————————————————————-
If you need a little bit of clarity about an issue OR have a desperate need to how to move forward in your relationship we implore you to get our RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENT QUESTIONNAIRE.
*******For A Limited Time Only (INTRODUCTORY PRICE ENDS 04/02/12)*******
you can get our RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENT QUESTIONNAIRE
&
receive a written relationship ASSESSMENT (based on your answers to the questions) within 24-72 hrs
A
$127 value
for

$47 

(this price will increase to $87 on 04/02/12)

Oh…I forgot to mention one other advantage…WE KEEP OUR PRICES VERY VERY REASONABLE : )
For only $47 when you click the BUY NOW BUTTON BELOW and make the payment you will receive our RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENT QUESTIONNAIRE.  Once you receive the questionnaire please answer all questions to the best of your ability.  After you complete the questions email them to info@bintentional.com and put “MY RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENT QUESTIONNAIRE” in the subject line.  At that point you can exhale and look forward to receiving your RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENT within 24 – 72 hrs.
It’s simple, it’s convenient (you don’t need your partner to complete)
AND FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY IT’S SUPER DUPER AFFORDABLE

Buy Now

 

note – after you make your purchase IF YOU AREN’T IMMEDIATELY TAKEN TO THE RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENT QUESTIONNAIRE OR DON’T RECEIVE A CONFIRMATION EMAIL containing the RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENT QUESTIONNAIRE….PLEASE email us at info@bintentional.com and we’ll get it to you shortly.

THANK YOU

*Disclaimer* The assessment we provide should not serve as a substitute for therapy.  If you are in need of therapeutic support feel free to call us at 202-599-0234 for additional assistance.  The relationship assessment we provide, although exceptional, is based on the truth you presented about yourself and the opinion you presented about your partner.  If you are looking for the most complete and immediate healing experience, we recommend that you engage in relationship coaching so we can assist you in getting to the root of some of your issues.

45 Life Lessons….From A Ninety Year Old.

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There”s an email making it’s way around the web in and out of people’s inboxes…I received it the other day from a good friend of mine and I’m so grateful I did. You see, it’s a list of 45 life lessons written by a 90 year old who wrote the list to celebrate growing older. It was the most requested piece she’s ever written.

Read her wisdom and share….

 

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

 

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

 

3. Life is too short – enjoy it.

 

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family

will.

 

5.Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.

 

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

 

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

 

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

 

9. Save for things that matter.

 

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

 

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

 

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

 

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is

all about.

 

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

 

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye But don’t worry; God never

blinks.

 

16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

 

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many

ways.

 

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

 

19. It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

 

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an

answer.

 

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save

it for a special occasion. Today is special.

 

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

 

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

 

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

 

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

 

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this

matter?’

 

27. Always choose life.

 

28. Forgive but don’t forget.

 

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

 

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

 

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

 

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

 

33. Believe in miracles.

 

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or

didn’t do.

 

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

 

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

 

37. Your children get only one childhood.

 

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

 

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

 

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab

ours back.

 

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have not what you need.

 

42. The best is yet to come…

 

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

 

44. Yield.

 

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”

 

It’s NOT About Your Job, Your Children, Or Your Relationship….It’s Really About You

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By Team BLAM

One of the consistent themes that we encounter when doing couples coaching is that each person in the relationship has a deeply embedded desire for wholeness.  Many folks are desperately seeking wholeness because they feel so parceled, fragmented, marginalized, and reduced in particular in their relationship and in their life in general.  We hear their pain when we speak with them.  We see their frustration when we sit across from them.  We experience their pain when we identify with them.  And we thoroughly enjoy assisting them with lifting that pain when we work with them.

Although most folks come to us because they’re looking for specific solutions to a relationship problem…..many people equally benefit who aren’t in relationships when they experience the freedom of allowing us to hold their hand on their personal journey’s in life.  We’ve seen people exhale right in front of us as though they hadn’t taken a deep breath in years.  We’ve heard people heal as they’ve cried cleansing tears over the phone. We’ve witnessed people go from thinking and feeling to doing as they experienced the gentle nudge of accountability from us.

This ain’t no game yall.  We are truly in the business of helping you get what it is that you want out of life….WHOLENESS. If you really ask yourself…how many people can you truly be authentic with?  Where is the safe space in your life to be pretty, smart, confused, and ugly?  Who can you cry the, “I can’t take it anymore cry” with?  Who can you experience guilt-free joy with?  With whom can you say “Fuck him, Fuck her, Fuck it all” to?  Where?  And where can you say and experience these things with NO JUDGEMENT?

You see, we’re sharing this with you because we want you to be aware that you can experience that freedom in working with us.  Most people think we exclusively work with couples…..WRONG.  We do one on one work all the time because people NEED it.  It’s NOT About Your Job, Your Children, Or Your Relationship….It’s Really About You. If you’re interested or know someone who may be interested in working with either one of us (Ayize or Aiyana) because they need to vent, shout, cry, gain clarity, be held accountable,  or be cheered on…… please pass our info on.

They can email us at info@bintentional.com to schedule a free 30 minute consultation.  Or they can call 202-599-0234 to set up an appointment. Please specify in your email who you want your session to be with. *We conduct sessions in person, via phone, & via Skype. We are located in the Washington, DC metropolitan area. How sessions are conducted is totally up to you.

*Currently our in person fee is $159 per coaching hour. Skype & phone sessions are $100 per coaching hour. We also offer an additional 30 minute in between sessions ”Transformation Touch-In” via phone where we review your latest goal(s), strategy, how you’re feeling/doing, etc.  If you choose to include the mid week Touch-In’s the fee is $150 total if your sessions are virtual and $209 total if your  sessions are in person . *Sessions can be scheduled weekly or bi-weekly. Anything less than bi-weekly is not recommended because you will not have the maximum benefits that consistent support and positive accountability can provide. We accept cash & checks in person & credit/debit card payments via paypal. Credit/debit card payments must be received at least 30 minutes before a scheduled session through Paypal.com.  You can click the Buy Now buttons below to pay.

COACHING via SKYPE or PHONE


Coaching Via SKYPE or PHONE




COACHING IN PERSON


Coaching IN PERSON / hr




*Please read the definitions below so that you are familiar with the kind of work that we will be doing.*
Traditional therapy or counseling looks at a person’s past, which usually includes some form of trauma. Deals with healing emotional pain or conflict within an individual or in a relationship between two people.  BUT, some forms of therapy, or individual therapists, do focus on the future.
Coaching looks at a person’s present, in order to help them design and act toward the future.  While positive feelings may be a natural outgrowth, the primary focus is on creating do-able strategies for achieving specific goals in your life. The emphasis in a coaching relationship is on action, accountability and follow through.
BUT:  a responsible coach knows when it’s useful to look at the past, precisely because the past informs the present as well as in order to help extinguish limiting belief systems. 

*While we generally lean towards coaching when working with people there are definite therapeutic components to our style.*

Again yall, we are here to help you.  We want you to BE, DO, HAVE.  BE the person you want to be…and DO the things you are destined to do….so you can HAVE the things you desire to have.

Thank you for taking the time to read this page and taking the first step to a more emotionally healthy and whole you.  If you know of someone who could benefit from this please PASS ON THE MESSAGE.  If you have any additional questions please don’t hesitate to ask.  IF YOU ARE READY TO BEGIN THE WORK OF BUILDING A BETTER YOU,  PLEASE CLICK HERE TO CONTACT US AND SCHEDULE YOUR 30 MINUTE FREE CONSULTATION.
STOP PLAYING AND START PUSHING
*** NOTE ***
2 – 5  DAY COACHING INTENSIVES are available upon request.  
Please inquire directly for more details.

Want Change? Positive Thinking Will Only Get You So Far…It’s About DOING Things Differently

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By Willie Horton

Having worked in the personal development field since 1996 – long before it was fashionable to admit to your friends or colleagues that you were ‘into it’ – I am firmly of the belief that people who read self help books – and people who are into positive thinking – are not only fooling themselves but are a danger to themselves and those around them. They read a little, get a ‘feel-good’ after-glow, perhaps put a little of what they’ve read into practice for a short while and then convince themselves that things are either better or, worse, that things are about to get better when all the signs point to the exact opposite. Of course, the attitude that things are about to get better is a widely used excuse for not doing what you should actually be doing to make things better yourself.

Reading books doesn’t change your life. Thinking doesn’t change your life either. Action is the only thing that changes your life – real action on a daily basis – action that you have to take yourself. And I’ve seen precious little evidence of action. Sure, I see plenty of reaction – but everybody reacts, does it regularly and makes things worse rather than better. Reaction will, at the very best, simply give you more of the same. And more of the same simply will not do.

So, put down your self help books, throw away your positive thinking and ask yourself this searching question? What action could you take today that would make your life better? Be clear, I am not asking you what would make you feel better – I’m asking what will actually make a positive difference in your life – one that will provide you with ongoing lasting benefit. Not knowing your life, I’ve no idea whether something major needs to be done or, perhaps, it’s just something small. But I do know this – I am constantly questioning myself, challenging myself and ensuring that I keep taking the little and large actions that need to be taken to push – yes, you’ve got to push yourself – my life in the right direction. And I’ve the results to show for it.

So, what am I suggesting? Very few of us can run out the door and do something startling in the twinkling of an eye. I am also not suggesting that you do something outrageous based on the impulse of the moment – that’s just a recipe for more trouble. I am suggesting that you get yourself used to the idea that you can take different action. Your subconscious mind is not used to this idea at all so it needs to be reconditioned. Again, I use the term reconditioned advisedly because we were all conditioned in the first place – by our upbringing, by society even by the trendy notion that positive thinking works.

To recondition your mind you need to start small. Simply doing one of your morning chores differently will, believe it or not, awaken your slumbering mind to the possibility that you can do anything or everything differently – I’ve seen the enormous benefits of such small steps – so have my clients. The greatest journey starts with the first step – why not take that step this morning and see what happens.

Willie Horton has been a Personal Development expert since 1996 – working with top leaders in major organizations. An ex-accountant, ex-banker, published author and keynote speaker, he travels the world, from his home in the French Alps, enabling people “live the dream”. All his work – including his acclaimed Personal Development Workshop – is now online at Gurdy.net

The ‘Crutch’ That Is Black History Month

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By Ilex Bien-Aime

I have never been a fan of Black history month in its current state. For as long as I can remember we’ve covered the same group of people over and over again in school. Yes Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, and Harriet Tubman were important and should never be forgotten, but let us not forget that there are many, many black people who have accomplished great things in this country. The current state of Black history month seems to cheat us of all of the great things that we have done. Some would suggest that having a month is better than not having anything at all. Though that may be true to a certain extent, we have allowed this month to make us lazy.

 

It amazes me how a country that is a few hundred years old could find it acceptable to make Black accomplishments 28 days long. This is partly why today’s youth lacks identity. Many of us do not know who we are and from where we come. Sure, we know that we were slaves brought to America. We know about civil rights, but we don’t seem to know more than that. How can we be proud when we don’t know that we have so much that should make us proud?

 

I mean no disrespect to Carter G. Woodson and what he was trying to accomplish when the observance of Black History month began. My problem is with our country’s lack of advancement when it comes to Black history, and with Blacks ourselves. We are not teaching our kids about themselves and we keep hiding behind a month to do the job for us. I don’t expect our government to change but I do expect for us as a people to change. Most of us could tell you where to buy the best pizza in Chicago or we can give you Walter Payton’s career stats but many of us don’t know who Jean Baptiste Point du Sable is.

 

Our kids are blinded by their current circumstances and do not see that not only were we Kings and Queens, we were and are so many other things. Frederick Douglas was a slave and accomplished many great things. Charles Drew was raised in a time when racism was blatant and rampant yet he still accomplished so much. Maybe if we taught our children that just because they currently live in a state of need, they have the ability to one day change those circumstances. We have to teach our kids that there are more ways to be successful than just how great your jump shot is or how fast you can run the forty yard dash.

 

Please understand that I am not disrespecting athletes. If you can make millions playing sports, by all means go for it. My problem is that parents unfortunately are not letting their children know that being an athlete does not guarantee your success. Your brain guarantees your success. Maybe we can teach our kids about Myron Rolle so that they can see that we are a smart people. Myron Roll graduated from Florida State University in 2.5 years with a 3.7 G.P.A. He was awarded the honor of being a Rhodes Scholar and studied at Oxford for a year. He was also the number one rated safety in America coming out of high school. Currently Myron is trying to make an NFL roster and if he does, great!But if he does not, he is going to be a brain surgeon. While all of these players are sustaining brain injuries, he may one day be the one to cure them!

 

Four years ago we were taught that a Black man can actually be president of the US. This was not just in theory but in actual reality. My point is quite simple, Black history month is better than nothing but our history is something that should be taught daily. We need for our youth to see that success has been accomplished by us before and it can be accomplished by us again. Young Black children need to see that we matter and that we are important. If the government will not do this then we as a people need to do this. Let’s stop using Black History Month as a crutch and start teaching Black history to our children all year long.

Ilex Bien-Aime is an integral part of the BlackLoveAndMarriage.com team. He lives in Washington, DC with his lovely wife. He writes as a man who has seen women mistreat themselves and who have allowed themselves to be mistreated. He writes as a man who wants to give his future daughters a guideline on how to deal with men. Lastly he writes what he writes because his female friends are always asking his opinion about these situations. Connect with Ilex at Iamsayingit.blogspot.com or via email atilexbienaime@gmail.com.


Oscar Nominated Actor Viola Davis Talks About Her Battle With Low Self Esteem And The Strength She Gained From Her Father’s Passing

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By Team BLAM

One of the fastest ways to move from where you are to where you want to be is to be inspired by other people’s story’s.  We look at celebrity’s and WISH that we had their world.  We WISH we had the stardom.  We WISH we could walk in their shoes for just a moment.  For everything that we wish for do we also WISH for the struggle that comes with stardom? Do we WISH for the emotional scars that come with walking the red carpet….probably NOT.  Check out this emotional interview with Oscar nominated actress Viola Davis where she shares what helped her to overcome her battle with low self esteem.

Committed To Closing The Gap Between Where I Am And Where I Want To Be

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By Neysa Ellery Taylor

A few years ago I wrote myself a very detailed letter of exactly what I wanted my life to be. I was specific. I wrote down how I would look, what my social life would be like, the status of my marriage, how my finances would be in order, etc. I was detailed. Tonight I read it and thought, “what happened? Why am I not that person on the paper?” Well, let’s see.. I think I can narrow it down to discipline, focus, and obedience.

Yeah, yeah. I could whine and moan and say that I’ve had some setbacks. That would be true. I’ve had some serious setbacks, roadblocks, hell, I’ve had mountains to climb. And I’ve scaled them. But when you are constantly playing defense sometimes you can forget that you have to put numbers on the board. I lost sight of that.

Seeing that letter reminded me of who I said I would be. Who I was to become. All of the things that I listed on that letter are still things that I want. I still want to be debt-free. I still want to have a career that I get up and love going to everyday. I want to travel more – much more. I want everything on that list.

So instead of writing about who I want to be and putting it in my journal, the Neysa 2.0 Manifesto (catchy name, huh?) is going on the bathroom mirror. I will be forced to look at it everyday so that I don’t forget the goal. I will work at closing the gap until I can introduce my present self to my best self.

Neysa Ellery Taylor is an integral part of the writing team here at Blackloveandmarriage.com. She lives in Nashville, Tennessee with her husband, Chris, and their 4 children – Asyen, Maya, Preston, and Patrick. An Emmy-Award winning journalist, she hopes to share her passion for marriage and God through her writing. You can read more of her work atMyriadthatisme.blogspot.com

I’ve Got An Attitude Of Gratitude

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By Neysa Ellery Taylor

When the editors of BlackLoveandMarriage.com asked me to write a piece on gratitude, I immediately thought about my marriage and being grateful for still being married to my husband. I mean that is what I normally write about and it seems to fit the theme of Black love and MARRIAGE, right? But while I am grateful for my marriage, my family, my job, and continuing personal growth; I am also very grateful for my health.Huh? What? I am grateful for my health. I’ve had 7 surgeries in 12 years. Yep, you read that right. Seven. And that’s just the surgeries. I’ve made repeat extended stay visits to the hospital in-between those surgeries. It’s pretty bad. Actually it’s so bad that my 2011 New Year’s resolution was to stay out of the hospital. Unfortunately I was admitted to the hospital for 4 days on 1/2/11. That’s the kind of chronic, reoccurring illness that I have.

Anyone with a chronic illness knows that treating it is tough. It’s a constant battle. But diagnosing it is even harder. I spent years in and out of doctor’s offices trying to figure out why I was in so much pain. Years of misdiagnosing. Years of functioning through the pain. Years of wondering if I was actually crazy. I visited so many doctors that I keep a list of surgeries and medications typed up and would fax/email my information to them in advanced because I was so tired for repeating myself. I would watch medical mysteries and “House MD” and pray that some doctor would help me the same way.

So if I have medical issues how can I be thankful for health? Easy. I had my “House MD” moment. And while the problem is recurring at least I know what I am dealing with. I’ve learned how to manage it. I’ve learned how to call a time out when I am feeling bad so that I am down for just 1-2 days instead of weeks.

So what exactly am I grateful for? Each time I went into the hospital, I got to come home at the end of my stay. Some folks can’t say that. Some folks moved to the morgue, but I didn’t. Each time I have been ill, my friends and family have gathered to take care of me and my children. Other people can’t say that, but I can. While my job may complain about the amount of time that I’ve been off from work, they have always preserved my job for me. Some people can’t say that, but I can. My good days out number my bad. Some people can’t say that, but I can.

While some people can say that their health is perfect, I can’t say that. But what I can say is that I am grateful for the health that I do have.

 Neysa Ellery Taylor is an integral part of the writing team here at Blackloveandmarriage.com. She lives in Nashville, Tennessee with her husband, Chris, and their 4 children – Asyen, Maya, Preston, and Patrick. An Emmy-Award winning journalist, she hopes to share her passion for marriage and God through her writing. You can read more of her work atMyriadthatisme.blogspot.com.

Gratitude Challenge Day 6: Give Thanks For You!

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By Team BLAM

Ok, we’re on day 6 of the Gratitude Challenge and today we want you to focus on YOURSELF. Thinking about why we’re grateful for other people, places, and things is fairly easy to do. And, yeah, most of us say we love ourselves and have good self -esteem blah, blah, blah. And, while this may (or may not) be true I don’t think most folks take enough time to sit and really think about how beautiful, interesting, gifted, or wonderful they really are. We tend to puff up and glamorize other people and minimize ourselves. So, we have to be intentional about making sure we take the time to:

SEE who we really are, APPRECIATE what we bring to the table & into the world, and LOVE ourselves unconditionally. So, here’s today’s assignment to help you do just that!

Find a quiet space, take a deep breath (close your eyes if you need to) and visualize yourself as a child. See yourself in a familiar place when you were a child…playing outside, sitting on the floor getting your hair done, singing in the choir, etc. Just take the time to really see yourself. See yourself for how cute, innocent, and full of potential you were. As you visualize allow your mind to travel to present day and visualize yourself in some of your commom every day surroundings and activities…at work, cooking dinner, cleaning up, etc. See yourself for how cute, well intentioned, and full of potential you are today.

Now, make a list of at least 25 things that you appreciate and love about yourself—not 22— 25. 🙂 When you’re finished writing read the list out loud to yourself and keep it in a safe place. You might even want to frame it. The next time you begin to feel down about your progress or lack thereof, remind yourself that everything is a process and take this paper and read it.

Remember, being grateful starts at home—WITHIN YOU.

I Am So Grateful For My Wife

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 By Ilex Bien-Aime

What is gratitude? Merriam-Webster defines gratitude as the state of being grateful. The Macmillion dictionary defines it as a feeling of being grateful because someone has given you something or done something for you. No matter the specific definition of the word, we can all find a reason to be grateful. I am grateful for life because many people never reached my age. I am grateful for family and friends because many people have no support. I am grateful for my job because unemployment is extremely high right now. I am grateful to God for loving me even though I don’t deserve it and for giving me my wife even though I don’t deserve such a wonderful blessing.

My marriage is in no way perfect but as I always say to my friends, “I will take my marriage over being single any day.” I think back to my dating days and I realize that a great woman is not as easy to find as people assume. People always say that a good man is hard to find but trust me when I tell you, a good woman is equally as hard to find – and not every woman is marriage material. Like some women, I have been lied to and cheated on. I have been led to believe one thing and the reality was something totally different. There was a time, like most people, I wanted to give up – but I am glad that I didn’t.

I am so grateful to have found a woman who is willing to show the same love and respect for me that I show her. When she goes somewhere, I trust that she has my best interests at heart. I am so happy that we have the ability to work things out because most people would rather throw relationships away when they have issues. I am so lucky to have found a woman who does not need me to make her life. She already had a life and she chose to allow me in it. My wife knows how to handle her business and yet still makes me feel that I am needed.

If you knew me, you would know that I love to give gifts. And nothing makes me happier than to see the woman that I love happy. In the past I felt as if people mistook my kindness for weakness. At one point I started to see myself shut down but I am glad that I found a woman who is just like me when it comes to showing how important we are to each other. I never wanted to change as a person because some people did evil deeds against me. My wife helped me regain my trust and ability to give. She brings me home clothes just because she thinks I would look good in them and though I may not always like what she picks up for me, I am thrilled that she thought about me!

I am grateful that someone could see past my imperfections and still decide to stay with me. I know that my wife is a hot commodity because she is beautiful, educated, financially savvy, and just plain sexy. She could have had any man in the world and yet she chose me. I don’t think poorly about myself, but no matter what you think about yourself, it is still an honor when someone voluntarily chooses to spend the rest of their days with you and only you.

Lastly I am grateful for the struggles of the past because they let me know how wonderful a real relationship can be. I am also grateful for some of the struggles in my marriage because they help me grow as a person. I see what I have as a gift from God, so I am grateful for every minute I have these blessings!

 

Ilex Bien-Aime is an integral part of the BlackLoveAndMarriage.com team. He lives in Washington, DC with his lovely wife. He writes as a man who has seen women mistreat themselves and who have allowed themselves to be mistreated. He writes as a man who wants to give his future daughters a guideline on how to deal with men. Lastly he writes what he writes because his female friends are always asking his opinion about these situations. Connect with Ilex at Iamsayingit.blogspot.com or via email atilexbienaime@gmail.com.