The Top 3 Things Every Woman Wants For Valentine’s Day. It’s Not What You Think.

Valentine’s Day is here. So what did you get her this year? Maybe you’re tired of doing the same old “red roses and a box of chocolates” thing and you want to make this year a Valentine’s Day she’ll remember without spending a fortune.


Here are the top three things every woman wants for Valentine’s Day. You may be surprised!


1. A Show of Effort


Women want to know that their man has put some thought and energy into making their Valentine’s Day special. They want to see that there was time spent in preparation for the evening. It’s not about how much money you spend. In fact, it’s better to have spent more time than money on Valentine’s Day.


Plan an evening that requires a little forethought, and preparation. Women know if you just stopped at the local convenience store to pick up some roses on your way over. Give her a night dedicated to her wants and desires – not just something thrown together at the last moment.


2. Proof You Listen to Her and Know What She Likes


As a man, one of your most important jobs in your relationship is to listen to your woman. Women drop clues on a constant basis in everyday talk. For example, if the two of you are out shopping, she might see a bunch of tulips, and say “I just love tulips! Pink tulips are my favorite flower.” One of the best things you can do is hear that information, remember it, and use it at a later time.


Then on Valentine’s Day buy her pink tulips instead of the standard red roses. Chances are she will be so impressed that you even knew she likes pink tulips, because she forgot she said it, or even that you remembered all this time, and that you went to the trouble to surprise her with her favorites.


This can apply to anything including a certain food she loves but never indulges in, a hotel or retreat she’d like to take with you, a piece of jewelry she adores but would never spend the money on herself, or maybe something off beat like she’s always wanted to learn ballroom dancing – Sign the two of you up for lessons. There are many ways to make Valentine’s Day memorable if you just listen.


3. Pamper Her


All women love to be pampered. Some may not be used to it, or not even know what they like, but I promise you all women will love it. A gift certificate to the spa is not the same. Here’s why – When you pamper a woman you are taking care of her, you are making her feel good, and by you doing the pampering you are showing your love. So how should you pamper her? Every woman likes different things more than others, so don’t be afraid to ask her ahead of time. Here are some suggestions to get you started.


You could make a bubble bath for two complete with candles and champagne. If she’s not a bath girl, you might consider buying a small bottle of massage oil, have her get into her bath robe and give her a back massage. If she’s a woman that spends her days on her feet, you may want to give her a pedicure.


Remember that however you pamper her it should be done for her enjoyment alone. It should not be used solely as a way to get her warmed up for sex. If she leads it that way, then all the better, but go into it with the intention of just making her feel good. Women can sense when they are being primed for sex, and when it is a genuine act of kindness.


The key is to listen to her, find out what she really likes, and plan an evening that caters to her. Surprise her with her favorite things instead of the typical Valentines roses, chocolates, and teddy bears. And, spend time and effort to make this Valentine’s Day a night she will remember and brag to her friends about.

Kwanzaa: A Pathway For Restoring Marriage In The Black Community?


The current state of black male and female relationships demands attention and correction: declining marriage rates, increasing rates of single black women with children , 70 percent of all African-American births are out of wedlock, nearly 45 percent of Black men have never married and 42 percent of Black women have never married, and the increasing rate of divorce among black men and women (two thirds of all black marriages end in divorce).

Marriage is the basis for a stable and sustainable family life. Hence, the state of African Americans as a people is best measured by the state of the black family. The practice of Kwanzaa contributes both to strong marriages and stable families. Kwanzaa advances that the starting point and foundation for restoring healthy and lasting marriages among African Americans begins with its 7 Principles.

Principle One- Unity: the unity principle instructs that modes of communication and behavior among men and women in relationships or marriage should promote an atmosphere of harmony and togetherness. Joining two hearts as one requires self-conscience practice to build into the relationship perpetual sharing, empathy, dedication and commitment through daily practice. The 7 Principles advises that relationships or marriages fall apart day-by-day, not through one single argument or misguided act.

Principle Two- Self-determination: the self-determination principle assists couples in defining their relationship or marriage in terms that are in their own best interest, not that of others, practicing their own cultural values. This principle urges the setting of terms (e.g., no violence, no name calling, especially the “N” and “B” word, setting aside time each week for just the “two of us”), to avoiding misunderstanding and drift in the marriage.

Principle Three- Collective Work & Responsibility: the collective work and responsibility principle is straightforward: each person in the relationship is responsible and accountable for its success or failure. The principle is clear that blaming and finger-pointing have no place in a relationship. It is always about “us” and “we” not ‘I” and “my.”

Principle Four- Shared Resources: the shared resources principle obligates those in long-term relationships to support and care for each other and to see their interest tied together. It also suggests that all finances and financial responsibility are shared among mates. No one person is the “bread winner” or has total say over management of family finances. Even when only one person is employed, the other person is entitled to & should be fully involved in financial transactions.

Principle Five- Purpose: the purpose principle says to couples that one of their central goals in life is the building and developing of our relationships. For it is through the building of strong and lasting marriages that they contribute to stable families, the index of the strength and viability of a people. Further, the purpose principle instructs that mates find their social meaning and human identity in their union.

Principle Six- Creativity: the creativity principle renews the freshness, energy and excitement in relationships, especially marriages through the practice of continuous improvement. The principle says that couples should always seek to find new and better ways of enjoying each other, and of recreating the magic which first attracted them to each other.

Principle Seven- Faith: the faith principle is what sustains couples through difficult times and crisis. Equally important, the principle keeps couples hopeful. Influential philosopher and theologian Howard Thurman asserts: “Faith is the substance and spirit which makes “tired hearts refreshed and dead hopes stir with the nearness of life; faith is the “promise of tomorrow at the close of everyday, the triumph of life in the defiance of death, and the assurance that love is sturdier than fate, right is more confident than wrong, that good is more permanent than evil.”

Each month, couples should take inventory on what they have done to practice the seven principles, celebrating their successes, and recommitting themselves to practice in greater measure those areas which need attention or improvement.

At Kwanzaa time, December 26 through January 1, couples can assess how their relationship against the 7 Principles and celebrate their joy and happiness of their union.

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