I Saw A Kiss That Changed My Outlook On Life
By Lana Moline
I saw a kiss that changed my outlook on life. Now I don’t typically go around watching other people kiss but there was something about this one that was just special. What was even more amazing is that every time I witness this type of display I admit that I experience the same emotion. It’s the moment a father leans in to embrace and kiss his son. That melts my heart.
When boys are young, it is easy for society to accept the tenderness in father/son interaction. On any given day it’s easy to find a father and son at school events, shopping malls or even their place of worship. Who wouldn’t smile at a dad throwing a ball to his son or helping his little one climb up the sliding board?
Dads are equally invested in the emotional support of their kids and when a need is indicated such as an accident on a playground, for example, dads comfort their sons with love and affection and everyone around is in agreement that is good. What is amazing, however, is that during the course of a boy’s upbringing this same affection becomes almost downright unacceptable. I’m proud to say I’ve spoken to many dads who simply refuse to let society dictate how they raise their kids. They remain sensitive to the needs of their son while teaching them to grow into a man.
The thing that’s bugged me is why otherwise wholesome affection has become so stigmatized. When I look at the family structure of even my own family, I see how things have changed. I think 50 years ago, our idea of family was primarily a man and woman working together side by side to raise a family and make a positive mark on the world. That’s what we all wanted. We each have stories of visiting our grandparents and how they were simply operating in love.
Well today that isn’t exactly the picture we see. An increasing number of children are born to parents who are not married. Although this does not suggest that kids cannot be just as nourished in this situation, it does make it challenging when custody or visitation agreements can’t be met. As a result, the bonds that are formed early on are engulfed in hurt and confusion.
So here’s what I am saying. I believe that an equal balance of affection would allow our young men to witness healthy affection from both parents and solidify a foundation for love. So to all the dads, listen closely – I heart hugs! You should too!
Lana Moline is a freelance writer and poet who lives in Fort Worth with her husband and three kids. She has been married 11 years and understands that marriage truly is a journey that is sometimes complicated by our own thoughts, perceptions and feelings. Visit her at her blog LanaSuccess4Kids.wordpress.com
a kiss from a father to a son is a rare comodity these days. Thank you to all the men that still show and teach our boys and young men that its ok to be affecinant to another man without looking like a homosexual. The Bible teaches us to greet our brothern with a Holy kiss. Keep up the good work Lana. I love you lady.
Thank you sis. I love you too!
Lana, you have done it again!! Kudos to a GREAT article with a powerful meaning….I love to see Dads showing affection towards their sons…I know it goes a long way to little and big boys alike. Our boys long for approval from their dads and what a great way to show it then with a hug, pat on the head, kiss, handshake or whatever form that gets the message across.
Fantastic article! I know my dad would love to have that type of relationship with my brother. However, the times my brother is around it's like none of the girls exist and I'm ok with that, because my dad needs that time to tell my brother how much he loves and miss him, and I get teary eyed every time he hugs my brother and plants a kiss on his cheek. So again I say, fantastic article and fathers continue to show your young men, your grown sons love!
I have to agree as well. There is something about a man who is able to publicly show is children just how much he loves them. Just today, I witnessed a father call his son over and he said, " Come here son, give me a kiss." He was so proud of his sons' accomplishments, and his sons were not only proud of themselves, they were validated in their feeling by the one person they want to be. Love in action…priceless.
I agree, agree, agree! I love when I see my husband being affectionate towards my sons. I think it means so much. My oldest son (who will be 10 this month) needs and wants the attention and affection just as much as my 4 year old….although he probably won't verbalize or demonstrate that need. Excellent article Lana! And kudos to all of the men stretching themselves to show love and affection to their sons even if it feels awkward, unnatural, weird, etc. Our little boys need you! 🙂
My recent post I Saw A Kiss That Changed My Outlook On Life
Great post! I see my dad and my brother have an affectionate relationship, with their own "handshake" they've been doing forever. You don't have to show the same affection as a mom, but show some type of affection. It will work wonders and it will show your son how to be affectionate to his future spouse.
My recent post Finance Friday: It’s Time for FINCON11!