I Will Not Have Children With A Woman Who Smokes

Hello family, I am a 25 year old man and I have been dating my lady who is 28 for 3 years. We have been through a lot in these three years. Long distance relationship and relocation together to another state a long way from home to name a few. I love this woman – and her 4 year old daughter – with everything that I have. She is a good mother, a hard worker, fine, and cares for others. My concern is her health. Throughout our entire relationship she has had some (womanly) health issues that doctors cant help with. She is also a cigarette smoker. Before I met her, a woman who smoked was unattractive to me but she was the exception. I recognize her will to quit and have witnessed all of the different attempts at doing so. I give her encouragement, as well as tell her my concerns about her health and the health of MY future children should we have some. I am increasingly growing impatient with the smoking and feel resent toward her because sometimes I feel as though she’s negatively impacting the health of my children and they’re not even here yet. I expressed to her that when she takes a moment to go outside for a smoke, that is a short time of “happiness flat line” for me, and it lingers until I don’t think about it or can’t smell it. This, coupled with the other health issues doesn’t get me excited about getting married and starting a family of my own with her, and I don’t want our future children to be exposed to that unhealthy lifestyle. I am strong and confident in how I want to lead my family as the man, and this is one thing that is not and was not in the picture.

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3 replies
  1. Laced by Swagg
    Laced by Swagg says:

    He also needs to be patient and supportive of her. And ask her why she smokes. He should be more in depth with why she has this problem and what has caused her to have it.

  2. Ajali
    Ajali says:

    This smoking thing may be so significant that it just wont work. Everyone has their major challenge, but some aren't worth fighting through and depends on the individual having to put up with it. If it is not worth the risk, it is time to move on.

  3. Reena
    Reena says:

    They can actually meet each other half way. If he really wants her to quit, he can look up things that are an alternative to her cigs. For example, e-cigs or vaporizers. This would help in her quitting process. This way she can still smoke without all the harmful and dangerous chemicals entering her and her family body. And everyone can breathe easy (literally). 

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