By Alexander Naz
Couples separation, whether legal or physical, does not always mean it will lead to divorce. There are many cases where a separation means a time for renewed commitment and forgiveness. In most instances, couples separate with the hope of saving their marriage. It works sometime. After all, getting off an antagonistic and painful experience could give you sufficient perspective to go back in each other’s arms after several weeks or months and work things out.
Aside from the emotional aspects of couples separation, there are logistical problems that must obviously be considered. You will have to establish a new home, contend with financial matters as well as issues that are related to household responsibilities and children. It is vital that a couple who is considering separation sit down and decide on such issues. Who will be taking care of the children? How will conjugal financial issues be dealt with? Not taking care of such issues beforehand can turn them into lingering issues during the separation. This will make it difficult to be objective and assess the relationship.
Couples separation is a period where a couple can retire into separate corners and consider the issues that both are having in the relationship. They could consider their individual feelings and honestly think about the realities of divorce or reconciliation. If you are really trying to rebuild the union, it is vital that a line of communication between you and your spouse be kept open. It is as vital that you give yourself time and space, which is necessary in regrouping and sorting things out. Try finding the balance between spending energy and time on strengthening and making yourself more decisive and working out your marital issues. In addition, you should always consider the value of a counselor or family therapist in bringing a successful resolution to your situation.
There are cases where couples separation is more about creating a transition that is less severe than divorce, and less about relationship evaluation. If you, your spouse or both of you definitely decided that you no longer want to be in the marriage and are not willing to work on it, it should be communicated. It is not fair to keep such feelings back simply because you are afraid of eliciting a reaction or you feel guilty. The couples separation will not be able to gauge the potential and strength of your marriage accurately if both you and your spouse are not honest with each other.