What “Being A Wife” Really Means

By Lana Moline

As a wife of 12 years, when I hear ladies say that they just want to be married I wonder what that means.  In our 12 years we have seen so many ups and downs and I think I have just reached a point of beginning to understand what being a wife truly means.  I fell in love with a man and we got married and began to build a life.  However, I did not truly consider the responsibilities and obligations that  are included in this role.  Of course I expected to be by his side, support him and encourage his success but I didn’t really know how engrossed my life would become with his and yet while that is the case, he would still depend on my ability to stand as a strong woman.  That’s a fine line that bears a lot of work.

I’ve realized that his desire every day to put his best foot forward is sparked by my desire to be all that I can.  It is like igniting and maintaining a fire that can withstand the wind.  Wives don’t really have the option of checking out of life or not having a plan.  Wives must have a vision of being fruitful and multiplying because they are the mothers of the earth.  I am not specifically speaking in terms of having kids but what I am saying is that wives are responsible for nurturing dreams and preserving hope at all costs.  Sometimes that may mean putting on the hat of tough love, which I admit that in my relationship it is a little challenging for me.  Come on, I don’t want to be the one who tells my husband that he may need to improve on something but as his wife, I’m his last look in the mirror before he leaves out the door.  So he depends on me for the truth.  It’s easy to stay in the girlfriend role and canoodle all day long but as a wife, I’ve got to keep it moving.

The security that comes with being a wife is priceless and when I think about the fact that woman was created from the rib of the man,  I can’t help but think about the function of the rib.  From all accounts of the sources that I have researched, a rib provides support and protection for the entire body.  So I encourage any single sister who consider themselves rib material to examine all that you bring to the table.  It extends far beyond accomplishments.  It’s about your willingness to follow through in tough times, your ability to nurse someone when the wounds are not physical and your tenacity in being a life coach for someone who you are in love with.  So here’s the caveat, it is imperative that you balance all of the things that I just mentioned all while taking excellent care of yourself because you would not be up for this lifelong challenge if you are not in optimal shape.  Take your time and prepare yourself to be the top of the line, PRIME RIB.

Lana Moline is an integral part of the Blackloveandmarriage.com writing team, freelance writer and poet who lives in Ft. Worth with her three kids and husband Emile. Married 11 years, both media professionals have vowed to maintain integrity in all aspects of print and broadcast journalism.Visit her atLana Moline Speaks.

2 replies
  1. NaTasha B.
    NaTasha B. says:

    As a wife of 16 years (next month) my husband and I have both grew up in our marriage. Marriage is hard work. Being a wife is a blessing and comes with a lot of challenges. I think being a wife is being your husbands biggest fan and supporter, being honest and not critcal. But as you mentioned you do have to be in good shape to take on this roll, or at least be willing to be open to learning, growing.Alo be able to learn from other women who set good examples of what a good wife is. Though everyone's marraige is different if the foundation is not strong and two people do not support and encourage eachother and are willing to grow together, the foundation is sure to crack!

Comments are closed.