Self Esteem 101. STOP Comparing Yourself!

This is for my sistas! From the time we are little we begin the self demeaning act of comparing ourselves to others. It can become a habit and really suck the life out of you and where you’re trying to go. So, just stop! Love, know and accept yourself and the sky is the limit!

Things That Your Husband Needs But Won’t Tell You

There Are Things That Your Husband Needs But Won’t Always Tell You…
What things you ask? Well……
 
Men want their wives to say “I love you”. Start the New Year off right and commit to telling him more often.
 
Men want their space especially after an argument. Don’t take it personally. Just honor that about your hubby and he’ll give you more of what you need to.
 
Men want their wives to initiate sex. This isn’t a big aha for most women. But, wives this is serious for most men. So…..just handle your business tonight and initiate.
 
Men want to be heard. Women usually have about 10-20 words for every 5-10 words a brother has and while there’s nothing wrong with that in and of itself—you have to make sure you give pause to your words sometimes and make room for his.
 
Men want to be praised, appreciated and validated. Tell him he’s the man. Let him know you appreciate the small things. Does he need a cookie for simply taking out the trash? No. But, the same way you like for him to tell you your cooking is good—he wants to hear the same thing from time to time too!
 
Men want to be touched. They crave affection just like women do. Sometimes we forget that. But we must remember that the power of human touch is enormous and healing. Lay hands and heal him. 😉
 
Men want to be respected. This one should’ve probably been at the top of the list. If there is nothing else you take away from this “what men need” list let it be THIS. Men, especially black men need to feel respected and anything women can do to make sure husbands know that we admire and adore them is time well spent.
Give sistas……and you shall receive. I’m living proof. 😉
Aiyana Ma’at is the Co-founder of Blackloveandmarriage.com along with her husband Ayize. Wife. Mother. Sister. Daughter. Aunt. Healer. Therapist. Teacher. Speaker. Entrepreneur. Funny.  Real. Jokester. Down To Earth. Dynamic….These are all words that have been used to describe Aiyana. Aiyana is a Licensed  Psycho-therapist & Clinical Social Worker in the state of Maryland and the District of Columbia. She is also a certified Marriage & Relationship Educator specializing in couples & family work.She firmly believes that relationships are the vehicles we can all use  to grow and evolve.  When Aiyana is not obsessing about how to more effectively help others she can be found kicking back with a glass of wine, cracking jokes and eating crabs while hanging with the loves of her life—her hot husband, Ayize, and their 5 beautiful & brilliant children.

BLAM Is Looking For One Lucky Couple To Be Coached For FREE By Ayize & Aiyana In A Google Hangout LIVE On Air Session!

By Ayize & Aiyana Ma’at

Yup, you read that right. We’re looking for one courageous couple to participate in a LIVE On Air Google Hangout with us. You will both share your issue and what you’re having difficulty with in your relationship and we will give you a professional balanced, un-biased real perspective from both a man and woman who are not only professional therapists but are actually married! Meaning we just don’t talk the talk—we walk the walk. So, what does this require from you?

  • Your comfort with sharing your relationship story and issue with the public. Your session will be published online and will be able to viewed by others.
  • Your ability to be transparent and talk honestly about your thoughts and feelings.
  • Your willingness to receive constructive and very honest feedback from us–The Ma’at’s. (It may be helpful to watch some of our videos so that you can become familiar with our style.)

Sound like something that would be helpful to you and yours? Your next step is to contact us by either emailing info (at)bintentional.com or CLICKING HERE. Please include Google Hangout Coaching Session in the subject line and we will be in touch. Wanna learn a little more about us? Click HERE.

We know this is going to be amazing!

Stop Playing. Start Pushing.

~Ayize & Aiyana

Ladies..Be Mindful Of The Words That Are Coming Out Of Your Mouth

Your words have the ability to build up or tear down your man.  Be mindful how you speak to him.  You don’t have to walk on egg shells and cater to what you believe is hypersensitivity…You do have to encourage him, support him, inspire him, and speak to the God in him if that’s what you desire to see.  All men want to stand tall…all men attempt to stand tall… and most men would love to have a supportive woman beside them while they’re standing tall and being the men they’re meant to be.

Can you be that woman?

My Husband And I Love Each Other And We Make Sure The Other Knows It

By Aiyana Ma’at I just want to take a moment to give my husband and best friend all of the honor, respect, love and adoration in the world. He takes care of my heart and mind in such an intuitive and intentional way and I know that I am so blessed to have a true friend who loves me unconditionally and goes out of his way to make sure I know. I woke up last night and caught him looking at me with such love in in his gorgeous brown eyes and there really are no words to describe the love he makes me feel inside. Sisters….we must pay attention and articulate privately and publicly when our men elevate our trust, elevate our self-esteem, elevate our ability to be open……elevate our lives. #IfYouDontSomeoneElseWill #LoveHeals #StopPlayingStartPushing

Relationships 101: Ladies! Listen Up! Stop All That Drama!!!

By Aiyana Ma’at

Ask most men if they think that us women folk can be a little “drama-fied” and they will say Yup! If they make no comment it’s because they’re trying to avoid some……drama! What kind of drama am I talking about? I can see some of you women out there shaking your heads  and thinking “Aiyana is wrong!” “What is she talking about?!” You wanna know? I bet you do. Listen up!

My Husband Violated & Shared My Personal Business


I have been married to my husband for one year. We just celebrated our 1st Anniversary, just days ago. The year has been VERY challenging and I’m not sure what I expected, but I never thought that I would be at a point where I am questioning if I should have married him.

My letter would be too long to discuss every detail, however, the current issue has prompted me to get your opinion on our latest challenge:

My husband has shared a medical diagnosis with some friends of his. These are not “our” friends, but “his” friends. I know these people, but I don’t believe I have a relationship, where I would share my medical record with them. However, I asked my husband, who did he share the information with, I said “one person”, than it became “two”. Needless to say, I was furious. Although, the diagnosis, is not life threatening, it is still. NO ONE BUSINESS.

We are working on our trust issues already, but how can I begin to trust my husband, when he continues to do things to violate my trust in him?

To schedule an appointment with Ayize & Aiyana Ma’at

for Couples or Individual Coaching/Counseling

images-15

Will You Be My Valentine??….Bonus Inside!

Valentine’s Day is a magical time of year where we are given the opportunity to share our love with the one who truly gives meaning to our lives.

All over the world, couples are planning on extravagant adventures, romantic excursions, getaways, and unbelievable date nights that will put the spark back into their relationships and leave their partners absolutely breathless.

But there’s a problem for many of us out there..

We’re “romantically challenged”.

We’ve never felt comfortable being romantic. We don’t experience a rush of creative and original ideas when planning out a romantic event, heck, we’re barely able to pick out a decent greeting card at times.

We find these times of year overwhelming, and we sometimes need a bit of help coming up with thoughtful ways that we can express our love for the one person in our lives that we can always count on.

But while we WANT to be romantic, and we know that there are times (like on February 14th!) where we’re EXPECTED to be romantic, it doesn’t always come so naturally.

You’re not alone. 

There are thousands of us all over the world who need that extra guidance when planning out a romantic date, and with so much pressure to create the perfect Valentine’s Day, we find ourselves dealing with can intense stress and anxiety.

After all, we can’t all be born natural Casanova’s!

But here’s the thing. You are on this website because you know how important Valentine’s Day is to your partner. You don’t want them feeling left out, neglected or unappreciated.

Your partner does a lot for you, and she (or he) deserves to be treated like the centre of your world, because they are. 

So, if you truly want to give them a day they will always remember, and show them that you put your best effort into celebrating the love you share.. We’ve got you covered!

This year, you are going to make it a day they will never forget, because as of right now, you will have more than enough creative and affordable ideas to melt their hearts and leave them breathless!

Even if you are on a shoestring budget, have kids to deal with, or can’t whisk your sweetheart away on a romantic getaway, it doesn’t matter! There are ideas for EVERYONE and EVERY lifestyle FOR ONLY $14.95!

paperbackstanding2-2

buy

We’re not all born with the romantic gene, and for those people who struggle to come up with creative and unique ideas for a memorable Valentine’s Day, this guide was written JUST for you! Collectively written by both men and women, it includes some of the most thoughtful, creative and inspirational ideas for planning out an incredibly romantic day that they will never forget. If you truly want to show that special someone in your life that they mean the world to you, these simple ideas provide the perfect twist to spicing up your Valentine’s Day. Whether this is your first Valentine’s Day together or your 20th, these ideas are guaranteed to impress your lover! Valentine’s Day is the one day a year set aside for us to show our partner’s how much they truly mean to us. This isn’t to say that we shouldn’t make an effort all year long to celebrate our love for one another, we should, however it’s a day where couples all over the world take a moment to demonstrate their love and devotion to the person who means the most to us. Yet unfortunately, many couples neglect to make the day a memorable one only because they aren’t quite sure what they can do to leave an ever lasting impression. Don’t let that happen to you! Your partner deserves to feel special on Valentine’s Day and with this guide, you will have as many unique and heartfelt ideas for planning a genuinely romantic day, that you will only have one problem: Deciding on which one to go with! Here are just a few ideas that you will discover. How you can give your lover a Valentine’s Day gift that no one else will EVER give them and is GUARANTEED to melt their heart! (and it costs less than $50 to set up)     The #1 way to start their Valentine’s Day in an incredibly special way that will instantly put sizzle back into your love life! (and takes only 15 minutes to do) – ( Page 6)     One of the most overlooked ideas yet definitely on the Top 10 for “most memorable moments” you’ll ever give your partner! (this one is a MUST if your relationship is new) – ( Page 13)     The easiest way to add spark back into your relationship while using Valentine’s Day as an “excuse” to make them fall in love with you all over again (Page 10)     One of the most affordable ways to show them that they are the love of your life and it only costs $20 or less! (See page 14)     Looking to turn the heat up on your relationship or take things to the next level? Check out my personal favorite idea on Page 18 and prepare to walk on the “wild” side!     Do you want to give your partner something that NO ONE else can ever give them without spending a lot of money this year? See page 23 for the perfect gift even for someone who is incredibly hard to shop for! (and it costs less than $30!)     Shock them, impress them, and melt their hearts in a way that no one ever has before with the special tip on page 28. (this one will be at the top of their most treasured memories) And Much More! You don’t want to let the day go by with the usual hum-drum. It’s not only heart breaking, but will leave a stinging impression that can ultimately scar your relationship in a very deep way. They don’t deserve to be left out of one of the most celebrated and romantic days of the year.   Will You Be My Valentine: 18 Fool Proof Ways To Feel The Love And Experience The Passion On Valentine’s Day And Beyond” was written just for you. We want to give you as many creative, fun and memorable ideas as possible so that you can plan out the most romantic Valentine’s Day ever, easily FOR ONLY $14.95! paperbackstanding2-2 buy

As a limited time bonus….we’re gonna give you “I Need You To Get Me: A Simple Guide To Understanding The Opposite Sex” for FREE!!!!  CLICK BELOW to BUY BOTH BOOKS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!!!

paperbackstanding2 copy

buy

Mom..It’s OK To Take Care Of You

Where are you on your daily to-do list? If you’re like a lot of moms these days, you probably fall somewhere near the bottom, or perhaps you’re not even on the list at all. The thing is, if you want to be able to continue to function at your best, to tackle your to-do list, day after day, tuning into and honoring what you need is absolutely essential.

Let’s take a moment to consider the regular maintenance that you extend to the car that you drive. Do you make sure that it is filled up with gas when needed? Do you make arrangements for the oil to be changed on a regular basis? If you car starts making funny noises, do you have someone check it out?

Now, what if you chose to ignore your car’s signals, because you were too busy with everything else? Would you expect your car to continue to perform for you? Of course not. But for some reason, we moms expects our bodies to keep going and going, even when we’re not providing any regularly scheduled maintenance for them. Should we really be surprised, then, when our bodies stop performing at their best?

Just like your car has signals to communicate its needs (gas gauge, oil light, etc.), our bodies have signals, too. Stop and think about a time when you were feeling stressed, frazzled, run-down, or even experiencing a cold or other symptoms. Chances are there were some moments, over the previous few weeks leading up to this state, when your body asked you to slow down, to rest, to take a break…these are the whispers I’m talking about.

When you don’t hear these whispers, eventually your body has to kick it up a notch. This is exactly what used to happen with me. I would end up getting sick, and then I wasn’t able to get anything done and I was definitely a lot less pleasant to be around. I convinced myself that I had to do everything and take care of everyone else. Most moms can certainly relate to this.

But when I would think back to the weeks leading up to a cold or whatever I ended up experiencing, I could recall moments when my body whispered to me, requesting that I go to bed instead of staying up late again, asking me to sit still for a few minutes, reminding me that the sugary snack I was reaching for wasn’t really going to sustain me. But I didn’t listen. I pushed through, again and again. I ignored the signals, and time and time again I would come down with a cold or something worse. This was my body’s way of forcing me to rest.

This pattern was repeated so many times in my life. I wasn’t keeping up with my body’s maintenance plan, but I was still surprised when it would break down. After this happened again and again, I finally got the message: I wasn’t paying attention to my body’s signals and honoring my own needs. Once I became aware of this pattern, I was then able to make some changes. I’m still a work in progress, but I am definitely more in tune these days with the whispers, so my body no longer has to knock me over the head in order to get my attention!

It hasn’t been easy, but the guidelines below have really helped me with this process. I encourage you to give them a try, especially if you’re missing the whispers in your own life.

*Offer gratitude on a daily basis for your body. *Acknowledge and appreciate the wisdom that it offers.
*Begin to consciously tune into your body throughout the day. Become more aware of its maintenance needs for sleep, healthy food, exercise, and relaxation.
*Create space in your day so that you can regularly check in with your body and hear what it’s saying. *Allow for some slow, quiet time.
*Start to identify your body’s communication patterns: does it speak to you with aches and pains, cold symptoms, headaches, knots in your stomach, etc.?
*Realize that it’s about more than just physical needs, too. For example, a knot in your stomach might indicate that just having said yes to yet another committee at school was really not in your best interest.
*Pay attention to the whispers and make the changes necessary. (Go to bed earlier, eat a real meal, step away from your computer, start saying no, etc.).

As moms, we serve as important examples for our children. Honoring our bodies and taking time for self-care serves as a model for our kids; they’ll be able to learn at an early age how to tune into their own signals and what they can do to honor their needs.

If you are a mom who needs a release and needs to know how to experience self care and why self care is important we (Ayize & Aiyana) invite you to join us as we take you through an inner work process that will prove to be enlightening and healing.  CLICK HERE to join us.

3 Positions That Heighten A Woman’s Pleasure

By Sacha

In order for your woman to be able achieve satisfying orgasms and ultimately enhance the quality of your relationship  the conditions must be correct.   Both partners must be relaxed and in a comfortable setting and feel totally at ease.

The feeling of anxiety must not be present, as well as the moods of both partners must be happy and without care. This psychological aspect is somehow as important as the physical ones.

Relax and set the mood with foreplay

To achieve orgasm, as much foreplay as possible must be performed. In most cases, and where the woman wishes it, cunnilingus is very effective.

In fact, if cunnilingus is properly performed the woman will reach an initial orgasm.

It should take on the average about 20 minutes. See the net-planet article on cunnilingus for the correct and effective procedures. Do not stop however, as the larger and more important orgasm is yet to come.

3 Positions for great female orgasm

There are three positions that almost insure a long and pleasurable female orgasm. Do not attempt any of the three without adequate foreplay (or the cunnilingus as above).

The first position has many names, but as mentioned in the Perfumed Garden (a classic Arabic text from the golden age of Arabic Literature), it is called Dok-al-Arz, or “pounding on the spot”.

This position assures 3 important factors in copulation. The first is depth of the penis. The second is the “g-spot angle” and the third is maximum clitoral stimulation.

To achieve this position the man sits on the edge of the bed, and the woman sits on the man, inserting his penis deeply into her vagina. She then wraps her legs around him, as well as her arms. The couple is free to kiss if desired.

Then the woman begins a slow grinding movement (no thrusting is possible). She is able to stimulate simultaneously her clitoris and g-spot. The orgasm comes quickly and with great intensity.

Should the man be able to ejaculate into her womb as she is finishing, the result is only intensified. The woman will love the man greatly if performed well.

The second position also has a great many names, but is commonly knows as The Gates of Heaven.

To perform this The woman lies on her back. The man lies or kneels in alignment with the vagina.

The man will hold (or press with his shoulder) the woman’s leg(s) upwards to adapt the positioning of the woman’s pelvis. This position, as believed by some, achieves a faster and more intense type of female orgasm.

This can be accomplished through lifting the women’s leg(s) higher upwards; the deeper the man’s penis can fully go in.

Again, there is both clitoral and g-spot stimulation. Again, there is very little or no thrusting, but a slow and steady grinding movement. If the woman and man can grind in rhythm, the effect is only heightened.

The third position is a variation of the second, and is called Crab on its Back. This position, like the previous two assures maximum clitoral and g-spot stimulation. This position allows for some thrusting.

The woman lies on her back with a cushion beneath her buttocks, and the man kneels or lies on top of her while pressing her thighs hard against her chest. The vagina will be tighter and the cervix will be pushed forward, so the penis presses against the cervix when thrusting, with a corresponding intensity of sensation. The result is often a very quick and immediate orgasm (or series of orgasms) of the woman.

Achieving satisfaction

The practicing of these three positions will give you and your partner a lot of pleasure and if done correctly can help her achieve wonderful orgasms to enhance and fulfill your relationship with each other.