What I Learned From Going On Air with Roland Martin

By Aiyana Ma’at

So, we recently had the opportunity to go on News One Now on TVOne with Roland Martin. He had us on to discuss the disparities in dating that black women face and the show was good…. I love how vocal so many of you were on the topic.

But, that’s not what I really wanted to talk about today…..

Rather, I wanted to share what I learned from being in Roland Martin’s presence for the brief time that we were there. It can really be summed up in just a few words.

It’s so simple yet so profound at the same time. And, while it’s simple it’s something so many of us don’t do for a variety of reasons.

But, I’ll stop beating around the bush—-here’s what I learned from Roland…..

Screen shot 2013-12-23 at 12.32.39 AM



If you’ve ever had the opportunity to listen to this clever, intelligent, and hilarious man you’ll quickly come to the conclusion that he’s the real deal— passionate, opinionated, clear about what he believes, and unafraid to speak his truth. You may not always agree with him. Hell, I might not either. I don’t know where he stands on every issue.

But, that’s not the point.

Let me reiterate the qualities I just mentioned again:  Passionate, Opinionated, Clear about what he believes, and Unafraid to speak his truth (and simultaneously the truth of so many other African Americans in this country and around the world.)

Can you say this about your own life? Is there any where you are authentically YOU? Where you show up, speak, and do from a place where you bring the beautiful, the ugly, and everything in between….and you’re ok with it because you know that it’s your truth?

I love people like Roland….folks who (unbeknownst to them) reinforce for me that:

  • It’s OK to be me.
  • It’s OK to be you.
  • When you focus on what’s in your heart and your gut you can never really go wrong. (Even if you have to re-evaluate or double back later.)
  • We waste time when we try to fit in, make ourselves digestible for other folks, and not offend.
  • When you let your light shine through you automatically give others permission to do the same.

So, that’s what I learned from Roland the other day. The opportunity to dialogue about a topic that is important and relevant to our community on his show was awesome. The ability to elevate and increase exposure for our brand was amazing but the take away lesson…..priceless.


Make Money Blogging Vlogging Post Banner (orange)

Join Ayize & Aiyana TONIGHT & Every Wednesday For Our “Midweek Motivation” Call @9:15pm


Hey there!
Just sending a quick shout to invite you to join us for our
Weekly Midweek Motivation Call on Wednesday, December 11, 2013
at 9:15pm. We will be focusing on…..


  • Call IN TIME: 9:15 PM EST
  • CALL IN NUMBER: 443-453-0034
  •  ACCESS CODE: 660744

It’s that menacing feeling that keeps us from beginning, facing, challenging, and overcoming so many damn things in our lives!

Connect with us so you can learn how to turn this monster on it’s head!


  • Call IN TIME: 9:15 PM EST
  • CALL IN NUMBER: 443-453-0034
  •  ACCESS CODE: 660744


Christmas GiveAway Alert! Enter For A Free $100 Visa Gift Card!

Gold & Orange Banner

We’re celebrating celebrating the Holiday Season with a cash give away and just in time for your last minute shopping! We are giving away a $100 Visa Gift Card so that you can do whatever your heart desires! Do a little shopping just for you or your boo. It’s up to you!

This is our way of saying thank you for helping Blackloveandmarriage.com become it all it has (and all it is yet to be!) The GiveAway begins today 12/9 (at the time of this publication) and ends 12/19 at 11:59pm.

The winner will be announced on Friday Dec. 20th and the $100 Gift Card will be delivered on Saturday December 21st just in time for that last minute gift or shopping! 🙂 Happy Entering! COME BACK EVERY DAY TO ENTER AGAIN AND AGAIN….IT INCREASES YOUR CHANCES OF WINNING (….and we’re always surprised by how many people forget to do this!)

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Wondering how we GET PAID to make videos, blog, share our thoughts on facebook, and do live google hangouts?  CLICK THE LINK NOW and see how you can MAKE MONEY ONLINE vlogging, blogging, and posting on facebook too – http://bit.ly/18FHaDK



FREE WEBINAR: Ayize & Aiyana Share How To Use Your Passion & Blogging To Make A Living-11/3 @9:15pm

By Ayize & Aiyana


Join us for this FREE WEBINAR to hear more about the opportunity that is changing lives (mentally & financially) all over the world!


Whether you want to start an online business

for the first time, already have a business or

product that you want to start marketing online,

or just want to build an internet presence for yourself or your business—it can all be done—very SIMPLY.


When we started out online over 3 years ago we had to figure EVERYTHING OUT OURSELVES….how to create a website (because we sure weren’t going to pay $1500 for someone to make one for us!), how to market online and have our brand and services noticed by the right people…. on and on. It was just a lot. But, we’ve learned a lot along the way….and we’re sharing all of it now to help others do what they love and have what they want through the use of blogging and social media.


There really are SIMPLE steps–but if you don’t know them…you just don’t know! We feel blessed to have been as successful as we have and we know we must give back and share the secrets of that success with others. It’s called the Law of Reciprocity….look it up. 😉


We are now helping people very simply and efficiently take their idea, business, brand or message to another level online and we are so excited to be doing it!!!!!!


Webinar Details:



 OR call in using your telephone.

United States: +1 (213) 289-0012


What will we be sharing during the webinar?


– How important it is to make sure that anything you do has YOUR “WHY” attached to it….WHY are you doing this?


– How we can help you succeed no matter what you do or what your focus is.


– Why it is ESSENTIAL to utilize the web to expand your reach more efficiently.


Why it simply isn’t an option to NOT have a website that is not only up and running but WELL-POSITIONED in the vast world wide web.


– How simple it is to have all of this QUICKLY when you have step by step guidance.


– How being mentored by us even if your Brand NEW to the online world with NO EXPERIENCE can get you amazing results if you just commit and follow the steps we give you.


– Q & A Session where you can ask us ANYTHING.


See you Sunday!


By Ayize & Aiyana Ma’at

I’ve bee married to my husband for 3 years. We dated for 4 years prior to marriage and i feel like we have a solid relationship. my man is freaky in the bedroom. he has expressed a desire to watch me have sex with another man. i don’t know what to think of this. Does he want to be with another woman? Is he testing me? where is this coming from? I’m a sexual person too so I’m open to it….but worried at the same time. Please help.




Missing Black Girls Alert! 2-Teens Missing After “Meeting Man At Mall They Met On Internet”

Two Cypress families were frantically searching from Houston to San Antonio for their missing teen daughters. Liana Andrews, 16, and Kacie Watson, 14, are church friends and vanished on Friday night. Liana’s grandmother was watching the pair and went to bed. “Liana and Kacie were both in Liana’s bedroom on the phone giggling,’ said Lana Turner, Liana’s mother. “That’s the last time anyone saw them.” Liana sent a message to her grandmother that said they would be back home on Saturday around 1:30 p.m. The pair never showed up. Andrews only has a learner’s permit, but when she and her 14-year old friend vanished, so did her mother’s car, a 2001 Gold Chrysler Sebring. It was found days later abandoned in Downtown San Antonio near the courthouse with some of their personal belongings still in it. “No girls would leave their makeup and clothes,” said Ernestine Lomaz, Watson’s grandmother. “Not those two. They wouldn’t leave their makeup and clothes in a car.” The families believed the girls went to see a man they met online so police consider them runaways. The families want it reclassified as a missing persons case. “This is not a runaway case,’ Turner said. “My daughter and her friend are in danger. I know that and I want them found.”

Anyone with information about the teen’s whereabouts is asked to call the Harris County Sheriff’s Office at 713-221-6000 or the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, at 1-800-843-5678 (1-800-THE-LOST).














Read more here 

Positives And Negatives Lead To Relationship Success

By Nancy Colier

Nature abhors a vacuum, or so they say. Similarly, it seems that human beings abhor contradiction, particularly in the context of relationships. We like to package our feelings as positive or negative, believing that contradictory feelings cannot and should not co-exist. In approaching relationships, we use the word but to connect contradictory feelings, as if the positive should eliminate the negative and vice versa. In fact, for a relationship to succeed, “and,” NOT “but,” must be the approach we take when linking the inconsistent feelings that are at the heart of all relationships.

All relationships resolve in contradiction. Why then is it so difficult for us to accept contradictory feelings inside ourselves? Unfortunately, we are trained to believe that consistency is the basic nature of all things, that there is an answer to all questions.  One answer. “Is it good or bad?” “Is it true or false?” “Is it right or wrong?” We like simple, clean, straightforward answers. If it’s both, simultaneously, then we are in for a more complicated consideration, a more unsettling resolution.

We seek to obliterate internal contradiction because it causes discomfort and ambiguity. We are always trying to grasp certainty and avoid the unknown. It doesn’t make sense that we can feel both love and hate, appreciation and disappointment, relief and frustration, all at once. In relationship, when we open to our full experience we must face the truth that all of these contradictory feelings exist in our experience of our partner. Such an openness of vision means accepting that we are receiving certain joys and being deprived of others. This can be quite un-grounding.

People use two primary strategies to eradicate internal inconsistency in relationship. Either we make the other all good or we make him/her all bad. Both paths are attempts to right the inconsistency, to manipulate the experience in order to feel just one way.

To make our experience consistently positive, we disconnect from and deny our negative feelings, the parts of the relationship where we are not getting what we want. Having successfully removed the negative, we can remain in the relationship “pain-free.” Ironically, internal criticism can serve as a way of denying negative feelings. Telling ourselves that we are “ungrateful,” “overly demanding,” “impossible to please,” and thus somehow to blame for the deprivation that we are experiencing, is a strategy to reject our pain and thus eradicate the anxiety that contradiction arouses.

Making the experience consistently negative, on the other hand, requires rejecting the parts of the relationship that bring us joy. The “He’s a louse and I don’t know what I’m doing with him” brand of thinking. In this approach we focus only on the problems, not allowing ourselves to acknowledge or appreciate the reasons we are actually in the relationship.

The problem with denying a part of our internal experience is that it prevents us from being able to fully experience our lives, to authentically enjoy what is working in our relationship or to change what is not.

CLICK HERE to read more.

Rev. Al Sharpton’s New Love



While surfing the web we stumbled across a pic of Rev. Al Sharpton appearing affectionately close with a woman who looked half his age.  Automatically we where like hmmmm and huhhhh???  Upon doing some further research we discovered that the woman he is with says that she is his girlfriend.

The NyDailyNews.com reports:

The civil rights activist and MSNBC star, 58, is dating 35-year-old Aisha McShaw, a Westchester “personal stylist” who has been seen on Sharpton’s arm at several recent black-tie affairs, including the White House Correspondents Dinner in April and President Obama’s holiday party in December.

When she arrived in a form-fitting black and white dress with a sharp-suited Sharpton at the New York County Democratic Committee Award Ceremony on Monday night, the Daily News asked her to define her relationship with the civil rights powerhouse.

“I’m his girlfriend,” McShaw said before Sharpton intervened to shepherd her away from a reporter.

She told The News that she works as a “personal stylist,” but Sharpton quickly shuffled her off without letting her elaborate on her profession.

Sharpton has been spending a lot of time with McShaw. The two have been photographed at elegant bashes all over the country for months.

The young stylist, who is registered to vote as independent in Mamaroneck, says on her LinkedIn page that she works in financial services as a personal banker at Wells Fargo.

BlackLoveAndMarriage.com Voted In Top 10 Of Best Dating Sites For African Americans

By Aiyana Ma’at

Oh me! Oh my! (In my fake little dainty voice) Whaddya know?! BlackLoveAndMarriage.com has been voted into the Top 10 of Best African American Dating Sites!

Wow! We’re so honored. Really?! You shouldn’t have! We’re a little geeked over here…or sised….you get it! Thanks to all who had anything to do with the decision and we want to send out a big shout out and congrats to all of the other sites who made the Top 10 list too!


Stop Playin. Start Pushing.

Ayize & Aiyana Ma'at