By Aiyana Ma’at
Life really is nothing but a big ol’ school with all kinds of classes to take and lessons to learn. I’ll admit that I looooove a lesson. I’ve always had an appreciation for the deeper hidden meaning and purpose underneath and behind things. Ask my husband and my kids. They’ll tell you my favorite question “What’s the lesson?!” 🙂 And while I can’t deny I’m a “Ooooh….what’s the lesson? ” lover I’m not always a fan of the lessons that I’m learning or the ones that keep showing up because my resistant ass keeps refusing to learn it. Nevertheless…..I want to grow. I want know myself better. I want to understand and accept my weak places and cultivate and embrace my strong spaces.
And what I know is that the only way I’ll do that is by looking for, searching for, listening for, yearning for…. yup, you know it….. the lesson! So, here are 3 lessons (just 3 for now….tee hee) I’ve learned (and am learning) in my life taught to me by none other than my wonderful husband and children. 😉
#1 It’s Ok to not have it all together. With the very busy life I lead….working a full time job, working with my husband in our business, counseling couples, running groups, speaking here and there, being a wife to my hubby and raising 5 kids……shiiiii…..ain’t nobody got time for trying to be (or look) perfect. I’m too old for that and fakery just ain’t my style.
#2 It’s important to admit when you’ve messed up and even more important to say you’re sorry. This is a lesson that kept escaping me early on in my marriage but I really have worked on it and make it a point to just say “I’m sorry” when I don’t do what I said I would, when I jump to conclusions and start judging my husband, when I mess up and lose my temper and yell a little too loud or perhaps am too harsh with the kids and I see in their eyes that I really hurt their feelings. I may not see it or do it right away—but I try my best to do it as much as possible. We have to remind ourselves that no one ever died of having a bruised ego and having to confess you were wrong….it’s good for us, it’s good for strong marriages and its good for our children to see and experience with us. Quick tip- If you can’t say it—write it. You gotta start somewhere and in this area something really is better than nothing.
#3 Having a family is a privilege and a special place to do my work. Look…I got issues. You do too. Who doesn’t? And when we have issues there are certain things, words, tones, people and places that will trigger us, set us up, or set us off. And it doesn’t always matter that it’s your first born child you’re dealing with or your loving husband—-everyone and every thing is fair game to push your buttons and stretch you until you’re uncomfortable as hell. I am a work in progress and I say that with pure proud joy! Because I don’t have to be making progress. Pursuing progress and growth is a CHOICE! So, i never take it for granted that God has given me 6 other beautiful souls to live with, learn from, and grow with as we all make choices day to day, hour to hour and minute to minute to do our work (Pssst…..for those who’d like a little more explanation as to what “doing your work” means…..simply put it means cleaning up your emotional shit, owning your boo boo and flushing it down the toilet so you can heal and be whole!)
I’ve learned so much more than what I’ve shared here but this is what I wanted to share today. Below are some pics of my family….the folks who demand my growth!
#Groworgohome #Stopplayingstartpushing #Marriagematters #Familiesmatter #YOUmatter!