Making Your Marriage Bed Better Will Make Your Sex Life Sweeter PART 2

By Neysa Ellery Taylor
A few months ago I wrote about the Marriage Bed. Did you read it? If not, check it out here. That is Marriage Bed 101. Now we are on to Marriage Bed 102. That means we are going deeper. (It also means you’ve been warned.) Ready? Let’s go.I’m going to write this today from the woman’s perspective because obviously I am pretty well versed in that gender. This lecture is taken from talking to lots of women – ok, my peers. Maybe I’ll deal with men on another day, who knows? But today it is all about what the women want. Ok?

Now, there is this little myth that has been floating around for years. It is the myth that men want more sex – and freakier sex – than women. Well, I am here to tell you that it is NOT true. Women love sex. Lots of sex. And freaky sex (although that term is relative.) The difference is we really don’t have to worry about it. Most women can walk outside stand on their front porch, say “who wants to have sex with me?,” and be having sex 10 minutes later. Now, it might not be with the guy you want and it might not be great sex. But we can have sex at a moments notice. Men… not so much. Men spend days, months, years plotting to get booty. There is no guarantee that when men cast their net into the sea of females that they will catch any booty at all. So since we don’t have to worry about sex, it appears as if we don’t care about it as much. We don’t worry about it but we do care about it.

So now that you know that we care about sex too, it’s time that I told you a little secret. When we are amongst each other, sometimes the topic comes up. (It comes up more if large amounts of alcohol being poured.) The number one complaint I hear during these chats is that wives are bored. No, I am not talking about the newlywed. I’m talking about the long term wife. It’s time for a new sexual game plan. I know that some men are thinking, “not my wife. I puts it down.” Yeah, you do, I’m sure. But ask yourself if your honey has said any of these lines to you recently:

“Tell me what you want.” “Is there anything that I can do for you?” “Wanna do something different?” Those are all nice ways of saying, “I know exactly what you are going to do from the foreplay to the finale. I’m an hoping that you will say ‘yea, let’s try something different’ so that we can get out of this rut.” Yep, those questions all mean that statement. She’ll never ask you outright for a change up. Why? Because we aren’t sure how you will take the suggestion. Some men can take a sexually assertive requests without it being an affront to their machismo. But some men can’t. Men, hear me loud and clear: Just because she asks for a remix doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with what you are doing. It just means that it is time for a lil’ switcheroo.

So tonight switch it up. Don’t do the a, b, c in that order. Do the a, Q, b, then P. What! Cue the music: Boom chicka bow-bow

 Neysa Ellery Taylor lives in Nashville, Tennessee with her husband, Chris, and their 4 children – Asyen, Maya, Preston, and Patrick. An Emmy-Award winning journalist, she hopes to share her passion for marriage and God through her writing. You can read more of her work at
1 reply
  1. Shawn
    Shawn says:

    Ok, thank you so much for shedding light on this! If I even start to think about saying something to my husband I never do. I know he cant handle it.

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