Resentment–The Silent Relationship Killer

What do you do if you are in a space in your relationship where you’ve developed what we call the silent killer: Resentment. Resentment is anger and bitterness rolled up into one and it is deadly when it’s not addressed.

Here, we deal with a wife and mother of 5 who says she has enjoyed being submissive to her husband and really hasn’t had any problems in that area until—her husband lost his job. Now, the dynamics in the relationship have shifted and she feels as if she is emasculating him by some of her words and actions sometimes. The good thing is that she is truly concerned about how she uses her power in the relationship to lift up or put down her man. She wants to know how to deal with this situation. We will first ask her to deal with herself and what she’s feeling on the inside and be honest about what’s going on inside of her. When we can be honest about what’s happening with us it frees us up to have clarity of mind about our feelings towards another. Listen in to be released from resentment.

7 replies
  1. alalvesto
    alalvesto says:

    nice nice..

  2. Ama
    Ama says:

    Yall are the best. Thanks for another great vid

  3. NewbianGem7
    NewbianGem7 says:

    One of the best youtube videos I've ever encountered. You two give me hope in a world full of negativity and ignorance and amidst all the mess around us, this is very heartwarming. Thank you.

  4. FitnessGuru1988
    FitnessGuru1988 says:

    " I enjoyed being a submissive wife until he lost his job"…. I guess this is where the better or worst part comes in ehh.

  5. fistoffries
    fistoffries says:

    The nature of the question itself is sad. Its like the letter writer is completely detached from her actions, as though she's witnessing herself on TV with a 5 minute time delay. Want to stop saying hurtful things? Well, stop saying hurtful things!! Does she need this same coaching in dealing with her friends and children or just him? Sounds like selective character to me.

  6. Raquel
    Raquel says:

    You guys gave great advice here. As a fellow clinician I too recognized that the letter revealed the presence of resentment in their relationship. Unfortunately, It's a familiar song sung by African American women today. I see this example all the time in my practice…..and what i encourage women to do that are experiencing pain that is manifesting as resentment….is to be HONEST. Be honest with yourself and your spouse.

    • ShamrockC
      ShamrockC says:

      Unfortunately women are always complaining about what there man isn't doing and I'm getting tired of it.

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