http://www.blackloveandmarriage.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/logo.png 0 0 http://www.blackloveandmarriage.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/logo.png 2010-12-07 22:41:282019-01-18 15:06:11My Way Or The Highway
My Way Or The Highway
VIDEO: Is there more than one way to do things? “Of, course!”, you say. Well, then why is it so hard for us to merge our thoughts, ideas, and opinions with our mate? We come to our relationships with very strong opinions, ideas, and thoughts about what is right or wrong, left or right, and up and down! The moment our mate challenges our thinking we are ready to get in the ring–boxing gloves and all! What’s up with that? What makes your truth the only truth?
Oh,How i can relate to that,about the children’s so well,of eating all the food,before leaving the table….When we all get together now,and sat down for dinner,one of my children’s yell out,you’ll know the routine,don’t put no more on your plate,then you can eat…The grandkids,look like you got to be kidding,no mom was for real then and now, so we all has a big laugh about it,and move on…the biggest problem with me,it was alway about my children’s,when it come to my way,or the hiway…when i was rising them up,i would alway pass they clothes down to the next one,when they out grown them…They hate it,and when i would go shopping for them,i only brought for the one that need it…There was no need to spent money,when you really don’t have to,but as they start growing,they mind got wiser,so they start asking question…Why you buy for them,and don’t get me nothing,right then,i knew it was time for me to graduate from old school,and put my old way ,on the back burner…it was so hard for me to come out of the past into the present giving up the old,replaceing it with the new,to realize it was not about me from the beginning,When it come to married with kids,it all about the need and want for each other…stop being selfish,you must take your partner,care,and thought in consideration as well…
You are definitely right about the having a little bit of humor as we try and blend philosophies. Everything ain’t that serious but somethings are…we’ve gotta learn that a little bit of laughter can go a long way. We definitely have been tried and tested on letting go of our individual agendas when it comes to the “dishwasher”….dinner, diapers, etc. Fortunately we’ve triumphed in a lot of these areas because we yield to each other. Most of the time it’s based off of asking one question…..”Who does it matter to most?”
The difficulty in this, given human nature, is putting the yield sign up. How do we learn when to give each other the right of way when it comes to simple issues?
For example, I used to DOG my husband about how he loaded the dishwasher:
Me: “Dude…it takes me forever to unload this thing because you loaded the dishes all willy nilly! There’s no rhyme or reason to this!”
Him: “But the dishes are still clean, right?”
LOL The main purpose for the dishwasher is to wash the dishes. Just because my military mind needs symmetry and organization doesn’t make his loading wrong…it just means that the purpose of the dishwasher was fulfilled, and I’m gonna have to get over how long it takes to unload it!
So now, I give him the right of way, because he knows I hate loading the thing. He gives me the right of way by unloading it occasionally as well to save me some time. It’s a constant give and take, and it will always take humility, understanding and a little bit of humor doesn’t hurt, either.
.-= Harriet´s last blog ..Take Off The Mask! =-.