By Abbas Abedi
When it comes to dating and romance there are some misconceptions, and some of them are really whoppers. We hate to say it, but the biggest bloopers in dating and romance are generally made by men who have big misconceptions about what their women want in the way of romance.
Here are the ten biggest romance misconceptions:
1. Sex and romance are one and the same. Romance can and does lead to sex, of course, but to assume that the sex act is a romantic encounter just because it happens couldn’t be farther from the truth. People can have sex and not connect on a personal level at all. In fact, it happens far too often.
2. It’s not important in a long term relationship. “She knows I love her. I’m here, aren’t I?” With that attitude, perhaps not for long. Romance must continue throughout the entire relationship or the love and the relationship will die.
3. It’s expensive to show romance in a relationship. What a misconception. How expensive is a walk in the park, a walk on the beach under the moonlight, a dance in the living room, or a love poem you wrote yourself and left for your loved one to find? It’s in fact often the least expensive romantic gesture and the one that came from your own hands, your own mind and your own heart that are the most romantic. Thinking otherwise is a big misconception.
4. You determine what romance looks and feels like for your woman. This couldn’t be further from the truth. You can’t romance your woman unless you understand your woman. One of the best ways to understand your woman is to talk with your woman and ask her what romance looks and feels like for her.
5. All women are romantics and no men are is one of the biggest misconceptions. As with any other attitude, desire, or practice, people are individuals. Our sexist society has given men the message that being romantic is not being macho and not being macho is the kiss of manly death. Nothing could be further from the truth. A romantic man is one that is confident enough in himself that he can show his true feelings. A romantic man is loving, considerate and a good listener. Romance must come from both mates or it will not flourish.
6. Giving candy and flowers can heal all wounds. That is a common misconception about romance. The gesture of taking the time to choose just the right bouquet and just the right vase, or the kind of chocolates you know are her favorite can mean a lot, but trying to heal a bad wound that you’ve created by calling a florist, whipping out your credit card and having someone else deliver what it took you all of two minutes to decide on is not going to be much of anything except an empty gesture. Personalization, effort, knowing your mate and caring what he or she likes, wants or needs – those are romantic gestures. If flowers and candy are the answer, so be it. Far too often they really aren’t.
The last four of the 10 biggest misconceptions about romance are:
7. There are romantic people and there are those that aren’t and neither can change.
8. You have to do a lot of preparatory work to be romantic.
9. The words “I love you” are enough and make everything else right.
10.Remembering her on Valentine’s Day, birthday and Christmas are enough romance.