We Don’t Lack Love..BUT…We Do Lack Romance

By Pat Jackson

Every marriage is just like any relationship. They have their ups and downs, agreements and disagreements and good days and bad days. When you put two people from different backgrounds with different ideas, feelings and expectations together, you simply can’t expect everything to be wonderful all of the time! While some marriages have very serious problems that can only be solved by intense focus and even therapy, most marriages simply become stale or uninteresting.

It is important to reflect on exactly what is causing any conflict or uneasiness in a marriage before acting on it. In a great many marriages, the excitement and take my breath away feelings are fading or they are even gone. It doesn’t mean that the love is gone. Love sometimes needs a little stimulation in order to revisit and maintain the feelings we all crave and yearn for. That stimulation is called romance.

Many people mistake a marriage that seems to be ordinary or unexceptional as lacking love. It simply isn’t the case! Most marriages do not lack love, but they do lack romance! Love is easy and peaceful, while romance is what makes a relationship hot and arousing.

Every single person on earth in any type of relationship desires passion and romance in his or her life. Unfortunately, there are a few things about romance most people don’t understand. The most common problem in creating romance in a relationship is that people simply don’t know how to do it! Other times, people are fixed in cultural classifications and their partners are unable to appreciate them for their own special and unique qualities. Ultimately, some people have simply given up on their search for romance.

In a time where everything is convenient and available almost at the touch of a button, the effort of romance seems as if it takes a good deal of effort. It is very possible to take some old-fashioned romantic ideas and make them work in a modern world while maintaining the genuine intention behind each thought and act. Romance today can be filled with unique ideas, creativity and passion. Romance is simply the way you express your love for another person. It is vital to keeping love fresh, exciting and alive. Without romance, love can become tiresome and even worse.

The expression of love through romance keeps it alive, fun and worthwhile. Romance is only true, though, when carried out with no ulterior motives. The only reason romance should be initiated is in an attempt to show love and appreciation. Romance with true intentions is when you want to show your mate that you are thinking about them and they matter enough to make the effort to bring your love to life through action.

Romance is more like an artistic creation as opposed to an exact science. Those who tend to feel competitive in almost everything they do will need to check that attitude at the door when initiating romance. Love and romance should not be considered a contest that should be outdone time and again. It should be considered a cooperative activity. While love and romance take two in order to work, you can be extremely romantic while still keeping your individuality. Love and romance make perfect partners and can make you and your partner perfect companions as well!

1 reply
  1. SmoovMochaNut
    SmoovMochaNut says:

    While it may be easy for some people to say they "love" their partner, it even harder for those same people to "show the love" they say they have. And additionally, explaining to your partner that what you "see" doesn't feel like romance may highlight that fact that partners may have naturally grown apart & don't consider the gestures or actions as being intimate or romantic anymore.

    Good advice is to strengthen the daily (verbal) communication – as couples get more accustomed to one another, they tend to read each other's body-language more often which could lead to more instances of miscommunication – but can be solved by simply talking & verbalizing your thoughts & reactions to be sure their messages have been sent correctly. Next, identify what seems to be missing or had caused conflict. Talking about how life has changed is a good start – we all gradually change over time & in many instances we think about things differently – it's good to discuss how you have matured or gained experience now that you perceive some things differently. Next…try not to argue about the differences you do have, instead appreciate a difference in opinion that helps you get a fuller understanding about new & old things in life. And lastly, try to understand & validate the importance of your differences & re-build a stronger relationship by "re-learning" about how you 1st fell in love with initially.

    But all of that won't work if trust isn't present. So if someone cheated or lied…expect that to hurt a great deal & own-up to it. Taking full responsibility for indiscretions goes a long way to healing broken emotions and may help in recovering a broken relationship faster.

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