5 Tips To Help You Survive A Long Distance Relationship

By Bett Smith

I finally met someone after months of Online Dating & clubs. You know the story. Three months into our relationship, my boyfriend broke my heart: he took a job interstate.

We agreed to see each other every two or three weeks at weekends. We reassured ourselves we were strong enough to survive the separation. I’d always thought of myself as a mature, reasonable person. Of course he has to take the job, I told myself. I won’t come between him and his dreams. A week after he left, I started crying and couldn’t stop. He felt awful too.

But the 12 months apart forced us to create our own relationship survival kit. And for all you long-distance lovers, here are our five golden rules:

1.  Don’t endure long goodbyes at airports. Drop one another off and leave. An airport is no place for a meaningful goodbye.

2.  Maintain daily contact, either by phone, email, IM or letter. Share the small things about your day.

3.  No mode of long-distance communication can replace being with someone. Recognise this and don’t blame one another for the longing.

4.  Share an imaginative space together. Read the same books, listen to the same music. Go to see the same movie at the same time. Sit in a cinema and know that your lover is going through the same experience, the same images and sounds.

5.  On weekends together, be relaxed. Try not to put pressure on yourselves and on the short time you have with one another. Have courage! As Charles Dickens wrote, “The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again”.

The time apart could be the best thing for you. My boyfriend and I used the enforced separation to think about what we wanted from the relationship and from our lives. Six years later we’re just as much in love as ever – and we’re about to get married!

4 replies
  1. Renae
    Renae says:

    Same here- long distance. The best part about it- though we only see each other every few months when we do get to see each other its for unusally extended periods of time. Weeks on top of weeks. Its a blessing and each time we see each other we have learned more because of our forced communication. We may be far apart but- I would'nt trade him for anyone – home or abroad..

  2. Sinsin
    Sinsin says:

    I too am in a long distance relationship…me in mass and he in maryland not to far but far enough! Finding my true love has me twirling but im up for the challenge after reading this. Thank you for the reassurance….i needed that

  3. Munamiiiih
    Munamiiiih says:

    I love this…I'm currently in a long-distance relationship…he's in NYC, I'm in London! Suffice it to say we only see each other every few months. It's damn hard with the time difference and the months apart at a time. But reading these things really help, to know that others survived the distance 🙂

  4. Shandice
    Shandice says:

    Thank you for sharing this, I too know how it is to endure a long distance relationship…I still am! but I know this temporary distance is worth our permanent love and happiness together.

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