By Dr. James Wadley
Too often, we become so fixated on having a mind blowing, earth shattering, toe-curling orgasm that we forget how nice it can be to be teased, touched, enticed, caressed, taken, enthralled, and compelled sexually.
Sure, chandelier-hanging sex “til the cops come knockin” is cool, but for many people, the challenge of reaching orgasmic ecstasy remains elusive.
Here are a few tips that you may want to consider:
1. Be present. Be “in the moment” and try not to think about work, kids, bills, or the challenges of life. Focus on what feels pleasurable for you.
2. Be patient. Trying to rush your climax may only delay it from happening. Give yourself as much time as you want to enjoy being sexy for yourself and/or for your partner.
3. Be creative. Having only one way to “get there” may get old over time. Be willing to experiment with different positions, different times of the day, various places, and using toys.
4. Be free to be you. Know what turns you on/off. Do you like seductive talking? Maybe wear sexy clothes? Do you prefer the lights on/off? Firm or soft body caressing? Does spontaneity turn you on? Figure out what it takes you “there.”
5. Be willing. Be willing to teach your partner about what you like and what you don’t like sexually. Your partner isn’t going to know unless you tell him/her what is sexy and pleasurable to you. Some people prefer to be passionately kissed on their neck while others prefer to have their thighs, calves, and feet caressed. Tell your partner what feels good and be willing to even show him/her what turns you on.
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