6 Ways To Tell If Your Child Is Being Sexually Abused

By Laura Lanfield, P.I.

One of the saddest sights I have ever seen as a private investigator was a young mother who had just been told that her young daughter was the victim of an ongoing sexual abuse situation and the perpetrator was her 2nd husband.

I aksed her “How come you didn’t know? She was with you every day. Who does your laundry? Who changed the sheets.” Her answer confused me, “MY mother did those things.”

And she said, “My mother slept in bed with her every night. ” And so began a terrible case for me. One of sexual abuse, tyranny and intense frustration. Having been hired to work defense for a woman charged with failure to protect, a woman whose sexual predator husband had been raping her daughter for 5 years since the age of 8. I was stunned to realize that she did not know.

She told me that had she known she ould have killed him. The story unfolded before me over the next 6 months. What I learned inspired me to share important information with parents of young children. It could happen to anyone, anywhere but in my private investigating experience, more often with 2nd marriages, live-in lovers and so called friends who have been invited to share a household with young children. In today’s world it is easy to check references, do background checks, investigate criminal histories, and locate sexual predators. Never in our history has it been so simple, available and necessary. Most private investigators’ work hand in hand with local governments and have access to more information than ever before. Any suspicion even the mildest necessitates checking so that children live safely and grow up unmolested with happy, secure childhoods and wonderful memories of being protected by their parents and loved ones.

Sexual predators are among us, the internet has made the problem even more serious and widespread, but careful attention to growing kids and their needs by loving parents can prevent the horrible repercussion of repressed sexual abuse.

Here are som clues as to whether your child may be a victim of sexual abuse:

1) Is your chid suddenly less communicative withyou?
2) Has their school work taken a turn for the worse?
3) Do they stay to themselves more and see less of their friends?
4) Has their appetite for food diminished or their appetites increased excessively?
5) Do they seem depressed or cry a lot?
6) Do they avoid or try to avoid being with your significant other?

LAURA LANFIELD is the author of the new book, BAIL BONDS BABYlON (http://www.LauraLanfield.com) and has been one of the most sought-after and successful female private investigators in the country for over 25 years. 

7 replies
  1. Tamisha
    Tamisha says:

    Good article, although I wish more signs could have been given to find out if your child is being abused. I always think about this especially since I am thinking about having kids now. I think another good way to check a young girl is to check her underwear if she doesn't want to talk or communicate. I have gone through some things and when I was having a problem "down there" all I wanted was for my mom to check. She thought I was weird for asking but she never checked and that always made me sad because I was such a young girl, I did not understand what was happening to my girl parts.

  2. ERH
    ERH says:

    So many children experience this every day. I have for 9 year from the age of 7-16. I still struggle with this everyday. It’s very hard for me to trust anyone around my children.

  3. ENC
    ENC says:

    Watch out for TEACHERS AS WELL!! There have been an astounding number of teachers ( mostly White people) who have been raping and sexually assaulting children at alarming numbers. I suggest going to the website, http://Whitewatch.info to read some of the stories. This will be VERY helpful in identifying tactics used. I also suggest looking up the video on Youtube where Eddie Long's victims speak on the manner in which he emotionally manipulated them using his power. position and money.

  4. Moni
    Moni says:

    Please watch out for babysitters, and with young children, look for changes in 'personality'. I'd also like to urge those that have been abused to let your parents/ close loved ones/ whoever should, know. It is very hard to learn, but the benefit of awareness and prevention outweigh the risk.

  5. JDW
    JDW says:

    This is a parent's worst nightmare and one that you hope you never experience. The signs are ones that can be esily oveloked or credited for something else going on in the child's life. After reading this I will ALWAYS be on the look out for these signs.Thanks for sharing!

  6. Monique
    Monique says:

    This is absolutely devastating. I completely understand when she says "I would have killed him"

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