Husband Locked Up…Is It OK To Lie To Your Kids?

VIDEO: While raising children we are often confronted with situations that challenge us to make difficult decisions. Sometimes we wrestle with what to or what not to expose our children to. This process becomes all the more complex when you are in a relationship and can’t (at least you shouldn’t) make these decisions on your own. In this video we aim to help a viewer make a decision about whether she and her husband should tell their children that her husband will soon go to jail and be locked up for a period of 10 days. Her mother-in-law feels she should just tell them he’s going to be away for a little while and as much as we feel their is value to what our elders can teach us—–it’s not up to her—-plain and simple. This decision is for Mom and Dad.  While this video may present differing perspectives…ultimately we feel that parents must come to a decision together and move forward as a united team with one message. B Intentional Family: What do you think? Is it Ok to lie to children when someone in the family is in jail? Leave a comment or submit a video response letting us know what you think.

8 replies
  1. Glones
    Glones says:

    White lies is one of the factors made of every parent like me, in order to provide the best for my little children…
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  2. Tori
    Tori says:

    10 days is not a long time….more damage will be caused if you share this info and the child is under the age of 7. Keep it to yourself.

  3. Lynelle
    Lynelle says:

    I vote for Aiyana's way. What's interesting tho' is that the answers seem to be divided based on gender….I wonder why?

  4. Brooke
    Brooke says:

    My sister is currently going through this situation. I do not ever believe that it is right to lie to children about any situation. Children should learn that there are consequences for negative actions. Do not sugar coat the problem. When we lie to the children, we are teaching them that it is ok to do the same thing.

  5. Rolawnda
    Rolawnda says:

    Great vid. I agree with Aiyana. I think that to frequenlty we keep quiet in our community when we need to be vocal. Secrecy is not the best policy. Besides…why should she have to deal with the burden of hiding it and lying about it when he made the mistake?

  6. Terrence
    Terrence says:

    Aw man. I hate to take sides on this but I'm going to have to go with Ayize on this one. Growing up, I thought that my extended family was perfect. I thought this well into my 20's. I didn't find out that things weren't perfect until later. Looking back on it I appreciated being shielded from that information. If my dad went to jail for 10 days now as a 33 year old man (he's deceased, but if he was alive in this scenario) I still wouldn't want to know. I have great memories of my dad and I don't want them tainted. If I was told about it, I would have to deal with it, and I would visit him and call him as much as I could, but some of my pride in who I know my dad to be would be taken away a little. Now if daddy was in jail for a year, it would probably be better to let me know. Sometimes it is good to agree to disagree though. Great post y'all!

  7. Rocco
    Rocco says:

    I'm with Ayize on this one. Especially if the children are young.

  8. Sean
    Sean says:

    My cousin and her husband went through this same kind of situation. Except he was locked up for 18 months. My nephews were 6 and 12 at the time. She told them that he was away for an out of state job. The family supported her decision but it never felt right to me.

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