By Neysa Ellery Taylor
I also had to learn to ask for help. The last piece that I wrote was about how I can do it all. I can wear the Superwoman cape, work a corporate job, and raise some kids. I was singing Chaka Khan – “I’m everywoman, it’s all in me” – at the top of my lungs. And I was exhausted doing it. When my personal deadline was menacingly staring me in the face, I realized one thing – either I ask for help or I miss the mark. I opened my mouth and asked for help. I didn’t just get help. I got love. I received so much help,concern,and time from my sister circle. They came and stayed all hours of the night to help me achieve a goal. I’ve known that my sistercircle was tight but I was amazed and so filled by the love they showed me. And I realize that these same sisters – and more – will have my back in future endeavors, just like I will always have theirs.
I realized that everything can’t go into the future with you. To move forward with a major change you have to cut off some dead ends. I had 7 years worth of hair on my head and my ends were raggedy. I had to cut off the dead ends. Obvious metaphor here, right? To move forward in life, I have to leave some dead things behind me. Everything can’t go with me into the next phase of life. I have to leave some baggage in the past and let it stay there.
Finally, I have to get to know the new me. Loc’d hair was resistant to rain and humidity. Free natural hair takes time and care. Little things like owning a shower cap or a wrap cap (sistas, you feel me right?) had been missing from my daily routine for years. I have to get to know the new me. I have to spend time with the new me. And I have to treat the new hairdo totally different than the old one. The new Neysa can’t act like the old Neysa. I can’t expect new things while doing the old stuff I used to do. I have to govern myself with a new set of rules, by a higher standard.
So those were my lessons learned from the seemingly simple act of taking down my locs. It’s funny, the old me would have thought I was just changing my hair style, but the new me knows that I am changing my life.
my twitter avi @myriadthatisme has my pics w/my hair pressed
my facebook page myriadmarriage has a pic with my locs (and my handsome hubby!)
I'm going through that process right now and have been for a month… partially due to the fact that i've had my locs for 7 years and partially due to my own procrastination and partially due to the hustle and bustle of student/activist/employed/entrepreneur life. I hope to be done with the last bit in the middle of my head this weekend. Peace on your journey sister. I know mine has been extraordinary and purposeful. Everything you're saying here has resonated with me, my choices and my journey as well. And i mean it's almost EERIE how much your story resonates with me, except for the fact that i've done all my own haircare myself perhaps… I've shared multiple pictures on my fb page of the journey and for the last maybe half week i've been experimenting with natural styles that i could tuck/hide my last remaining locs into.
THIS IS AMAZING! Please post pics!!!!
What a great lesson thank you for sharing gave me some things to think about also so much food for thought thank you for the nourishment
I cut mine off 3 years ago because I felt like there was two much baggage in my life. I can relate when you talk about a "new you".
Beautiful post pic and excellent post.