Many couples have a happy relationship but like a lot of other couples are having sex rarely—once or twice a month if they are lucky (as they put it) When they have sex they say it goes pretty well—both of them are getting aroused, having orgasms, and feeling connected.
However, many couples still feel as if they’ve come to a point where they have lost the creative aspect in their lovemaking and tend to do the same thing over and over again. This is a common concern in relationships and not necessarily some major sexual issue or dysfunction. But, for many couples, if they feel that something is not quite right or that something is limited about their physical relationship, one or both partners can make the mistake of wondering if something more serious is going on: Do they really love each other? Are they still really attracted to each other? This kind of thinking makes a relatively common situation turn into a dangerous one.
So, if this sounds familiar to you—stop worrying. You just need to focus more time and attention to this area of your relationship and it can be sooo fun! 😉 Here are 6 ways to bring a more romantic spirit back to your lovemaking:
1) Focus on being romantic and sensual ( send flowers, romantic e-mails, whisper suggestive desires, during dinner, touch his or her leg under the table). We know that talking as friends and sharing fun times are aphrodisiacs. We hear this often from women but we know it’s also true for men.
2)Do not focus on orgasms or other outcomes. Pressure is not an aphrodisiac.
3) Focus on wooing your partner–as opposed to taking his or her love for granted (i.e., stop being lazy).
4)Be sensitive to your partner’s rhythms, needs, and wishes. For example, many couples say they don’t have sex because one is a night person and the other is a morning person. If that’s the case, push yourself to be sensual during your partner’s times.
5) Be imaginative and creative. Let your partner know you care and are attracted to her and that you want her–but do it in a variety of ways. The possibilities are endless. You might be driving to work together and passing a motel, and could say, “Let’s be an hour late.” Even if the rendezvous isn’t possible that day, the message is that you are attracted to him and want him. You can do it some other time if not now…
6) Take risks by initiating lovemaking at unexpected times and places. Research suggests that a couple’s love life is best when both the man and the woman initiate, rather than when only one person typically initiates—flexibility is a good thing!