7 Simple Steps To Build Trust In Your Relationship
By Justin Drama
Did you know that there are seven concrete ways to build trust in a relationship? Often, what we think of first is not what really makes a relationship work. For example, if you are always thinking you need to spice things up, you’re wrong! Being predictable is much more important than being spontaneous in a relationship. Here are seven different methods that are guaranteed to improve your connection by improving the level of trust in a relationship.
Firstly, as previously mentioned, be predictable. Even though that does go against the common notion that you need to stir things up in a romance to keep it alive. Taking your partner out to a new restaurant or surprising them with a gift is nice, but what we really need, is for things to be consistent in order to make our relationship work. Being reliable day in and day out is what brings trust to a relationship.
Secondly, your words need to match the message. You have to make sure your body language matches the words that are coming out of your mouth. If you are frowning and say you are happy, you’re partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and hears the tone of your voice. When your words match your message, you build trust in your relationship.
Third, you need to believe in your partner being a competent person. Trust is extremely important in a relationship. The truth is never hurtful if spoken in the right loving way. If you believe your partner is not competent at some thing, you are violating the trust in a relationship.
Fourth, DO NOT keep secrets. A secret can destroy the trust in a relationship. You have to be honest and open. Also, assume that everything you know will eventually come out of the box. It takes a lot of energy to keep a secret, when that energy could just be put into building a relationship further.
Fifth, you have needs and you should not let your partner be afraid to know what those needs are. Don’t let your partner guess your needs, let him or her know. Don’t be selfish, be self-centered, there is a difference. Don’t take this advice too far, or you may end up smothering your partner.
Sixth, always learn to say no. Don’t be a yes man or woman to everything your partner says. A partner, or anybody for that matter, can not respect you if you never say no. Saying no to your partner actually helps build trust in a relationship.
Lastly, pursue healthy growth. Relationships are NEVER perfect, there will be some ups and down, and from both of these your relationship grows. Do not be afraid of crisis or turmoil. This is what helps your relationship grow.
So, now that you have decided to work on your trust in a relationship, you will encounter a few road bumps. But, if you work through them, you not only become a stronger person individually, but also as a tandem with your partner.
All the points are extremely valid. I would add, that trust start with trusting yourself. Too many times trust in a relationship becomes an issue because one partner really do not have enough trust in their own integrity.
Of course this means asking yourself, what would I do if no one is looking, would I tell a him or her a lie if I know he or she will never discover the lie? In other words, what you do to others, you are going to first do to yourself. If you lie to your partner and he or she never finds out, then you know you are lying to yourself first and foremost. You are not going to trust yourself and you will never be able to build a relationship where a high level of mutual trutst is present.
My recent post Rebuilding Trust — How Is Your Conversational Tone?
The second and forth ARE NEEDED for my relationship. People seem to think trust just comes and they have to do nothing in order to have it, or they feel it's ok to "test" the relationship just to see if you have trust. People in relationships should provide a sense of security. I see it like this, the relationship is a bond like two objects mended together but if you constantly do things to break this bond, things that cause stress and friction how can you expect the bond to last? The same way people protect the things they value the most, they should do with their relationship, if you value it. Making sure the bond stays in tact, that other respect it and do not interfere with it. When one person feels like they are under attack(insecure), they will wonder where was my partner to provide the security?