By: J Brennan
Has your sex life been a bit neglected lately? Its not like you don’t care but well, it’s just finding the time and energy. It seems impossible some days because there’s work and cleaning and working out and grocery shopping and cooking dinner, laundry, kids, family commitments, friends, ironing!
When you do get horizontal you pass out within minutes. Or you’re not in the mood. Or you just can’t be bothered. Soon enough a month has passed and you can’t remember the last time you had sex. And when was the last time you kissed your partner and I mean really kissed them, not just a polite peck?
If this sounds like you and you want to get back to having a healthy sex life keep reading.
1. Start slow
If you haven’t been intimate for sometime then you might want to build up slowly to get back in synch with each other. Instead of attempting to leap from a standing start to racing speed, ease your way back into each other’s physical space by touching when you can and by being considerate with each other.
The element of surprise can be very enticing. You could try taking a long bath together, ambush your partner with a long slow kiss when they are expecting to just touch lips, buy some sexy outfit and give them their own fashion show!
3. Say what you’d like
Don’t assume that because you’ve been together for awhile that your partner knows exactly what you want. Even if they do know, it won’t hurt to tell them once in awhile.
4. Enjoy yourself
When was the last time you fell about laughing together? Or try playing your favorite music and dancing up a storm. Or buy the music that was popular when you first got together and put it on for a trip down memory lane.
5. Put it on paper
If you feel embarrassed saying what you want write it instead. The plus is that you can be as specific as you like without your face turning beetroot red and it gives your partner time to process what you’ve said and get into the mood.
6. Be There
Focus on what you are doing by stopping the internal chatter. Don’t worry that you forgot to pick up the dry cleaning, or how you need to call your mother about her birthday, or the fact that you’re out of cereal. Leave all that stuff to later. Much later. Chances are it won’t seem nearly so important once you’re done.
7. Sex stories to get you in the mood
The mind is crucial in any attempt to resuscitate your sex life. It needs to be turned on first and the body will follow. Increasing your sex drive won’t happen overnight. It will take some effort. But it won’t happen just because you want it to be different. Try taking an active approach to getting the most out of your sex life. Of all the strategies listed above, reading erotic stories can be one of the most powerful. The secret is finding the right stories but even that isn’t so difficult anymore.
J Brennan provides guidance on love, sex, marriage and family for couples seeking more from their relationship with her website: LoveSexMarriage101.com She also has a collection of sexy stories available at Sexdrive101.com