By Ilex Bien- Aime
Dear little one,
I eagerly await your arrival into this world. I have so many things that I would like to do with you and for you. I can’t wait to see your smile and hear your laugh. I pray that your lifetime will have more smiles and laughs than hard times and tears but just know, there will be hard times and tears. I wish that I could play your “Guardian Angel” and keep you from the horrible things in life, but I am just a man who must also live under the rules and wants of God.
Unfortunately everyone must go through rough patches in life and you will be no different but if you listen to the things your mother and I tell you, you will be able to minimize the pain. If you live in wisdom, you will see how to keep yourself from the unnecessary heartaches that most people allow into their lives. You won’t be alone; I will be here along with your mother, guiding you and molding you. Even when you grow older and go off on your own, we will only be one phone call away from you.
I have made many mistakes in life. On one hand, I would like to keep those things secret from you – on the other hand I want you to know that I have been where you are. There are many things that I was not taught and as a result, learned them the hard way – on my own.. Though some believe this to be the best way to learn, I say a wise man listens to those who have gone before him and chooses a path that does not lead to failure and disappointment. I have foolishly placed my hands on the burning stove and I have the scars to prove it – that is why you don’t need to place your hands on that stove to know it burns.
Do not be afraid to live your life with character and morals. People are going to try to make you do things that you already know are wrong. They are going to try to make you feel bad for not doing these things. They will call you out of your name and they will say that you think you are better than them, but that is not your problem. Never feel the need to compromise yourself and you will never feel the sting of regret for doing so.
Always keep in mind that your actions will have consequences to them. When you feel the need to live outside of your values, you must be willing to pay a heavy price. Many men and women will try to get you to compromise yourself for them but listen to that voice of reason inside of you. Many will come into your world and will try to make you do what they want for their own gain. No sooner than you adhere to their demands, they are nowhere to be found and you are left with the lasting memories of your self betrayal.
You are Kings and Queens and no one can force you to be anything less than that. Your worth is not what other people say it is but it is beyond their comprehension. You are worth so much and don’t allow yourself to be treated like trash. When you believe in yourself, no one will be able to tear you down or disrespect you. Don’t further feed into their hands by disrespecting yourself.
I wish that I could keep you from making mistakes but we all make them. No one on this earth is perfect so never get too down on yourself. Just know that some things are known as mistakes and other things are known as being foolish. A man who puts his hand on the red eye of the stove is a fool but the man who mistakenly places his hand on the eye of the stove that seemingly looks cool, has made a mistake. Both will cause pain however one of them could have been prevented.
Your mother and I are just your earthly parents and the rules and regulations we have used to raise you were learned from our heavenly father. Keep yourself close to Him and I promise you, that even though the world will still be a difficult place to live in, your life will have less dead ends then other people’s lives. You won’t need to worry about baby mommas and baby daddies. You won’t worry about trying to hide how many people you’ve slept with. You won’t need to worry about diseases and foolish heartaches. You will see that the well lit path will never lead you astray but when you deviate from it, you open yourself up for disaster. Stay on the path and if you veer off, have enough sense to get back on.
My name is Ilex Bien-Aime and I live in Washington, DC with my lovely wife. I write as a man who has seen women mistreat themselves and who have allowed themselves to be mistreated. I write as a man who wants to give my future daughters a guideline on how to deal with men. Lastly I write what I write because my female friends are always asking my opinion about these situations.