By Team BLAM
One of the hottest topics in our relationship education classes is SEX. Couples enter class complaining about the lack of sex, the routine of sex, the expectation of sex, the disinterest in sex and so on and so on. Unfortunately, the complaints are common and very clearly reveal a collective mis-education about the significance of sex and intimacy to a healthy relationship. The cries of frustration reveal a deep seeded desire to thoroughly understand the impediments preventing them from having better sex, better love, and a better life.
To assist our couples on their journey, one of the things that we explain is that in our relationships we have a responsibility to challenge our pre conceived notions about what sex should look like, feel like, and sound like in a marriage because most of what you learned about sex prior to marriage ain’t applicable in your marriage. There is a re-education that desperately needs to occur.
In one of our prior videos titled Sex, Lies, Vibrators And More we spoke on the idea that men (especially young men) engage in sex with the objective to “beat it up”, “punish that p***y”, “break her back”, “pop the cherry”, “bang it out”, etc. etc. This approach is all about ego. Essentially the idea is, I’m gonna make you remember me and the way I’m gonna make you remember me is by making you “feel me” even if it’s at your expense. This really ain’t cool. There’s way more than one way to make a woman remember you and most of those ways ain’t got nothing to do with what’s in your pants.
Another assumption that’s made is “the longer the better”. I’m referring to the length of time having sex that is…lol. Wrong again. According to an excerpt from YourTango.com
Two Pennsylvania university students decided to poll sex therapists and researchers to determine what length of time in the sack is generally regarded as enough or too much. Based on the responses received from thousands of patients, a survey of 50 psychologists, social workers, physicians, nurses and marriage/family therapists reported lengths of time to match four descriptions of intercourse duration: too long, too short, adequate and desirable.
Duration of one to two minutes was deemed “too short” and three to seven minutes “adequate”, which seem to match society’s perceived amount of time for good sex. But, surprisingly, most researchers assigned the title of “desirable” to an experience lasting anywhere from seven to thirteen minutes. And “too long” was defined as anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes.
So for all yall brotha’s who hang your hat on having a minimum of 90 minute sex sessions…..your woman was “good” a long time ago. Lol
The name of the game of life is GROWTH. One of the ways to grow is to get educated and apply what you learn. I humbly challenge you to re-examine your sexpectations and employ a new approach to intimacy. Remember, better sex can lead to better love and better love can lead to a better life….if you allow it. Stop Playin Start Pushin