Are You “Open” To An Open Relationship?

By Melissa Fritchle

As polyamory and open relationships become more visible, more people are wondering, “Is there a way I can be honest with my partner about my desires? How can I even start this conversation? What will help us to be successful if we try this?”  Here are some tips from my years of working with couples as they explore whether an open relationship is right for them. This article will focus on getting clarity for yourself before you even approach your partner.

1. First, do not start an affair. I cannot stress this enough. It is true for many people that the first time they begin to consider open relationships are when they have met an appealing new potential partner. While a new person may allow you to realize that you canlove more than one person at a time, if you are seriously considering an open relationship with your current partner, the first requirement will be to treat them with respect and the relationship with integrity.

Open relationships are not a free for all or permission for cheating; lies are still lies. You will not be able to effectively change the rules of your relationship to allow for more openness and the trust that this requires when you are healing the wounds of an affair.

2. Be honest with yourself about what you want from your current relationship.Are you considering new partners because you are bored or unhappy with your current relationship? Are your reasons for wanting to stay with your current partner primarily practical, i.e. it would be inconvenient to divorce or separate? Can you identify things about your current partner that you love and really value about them? Are you happy being with them for who they are?

CLICK HERE to read more.


2 replies
  1. Steve Wild
    Steve Wild says:

    We are swingers and just wanted to re-iterate rule number 1. Cheating and swinging are not the same thing, no matter what others will tell you.

    Also, swingers don't care so much, but the polyamory movement will probably not enjoy this article as they hate being lumped in with the sexual deviant crowd like those of us in open relationships or in the swingers lifestyle.

    Open Relationship / Swingers: Partner exchange for sex, no love involved here.

    Polyamory: Multiple partners who LOVE each other and try to build a life together, the sex is only one small aspect of the entire polyamory movement.
    My recent post Expert Reveals 5 Steps For Transforming A Relationship to Open Status

Comments are closed.