Dealing With Infidelity…Is It Really Possible For A Marriage To Survive It?
By Denise A. Dilmore
Surviving infidelity can be one of the darkest periods in your life. Being betrayed, hurt and humiliated by the one person you thought you could trust is life shattering.
Although affairs are certainly not uncommon within marriages, more and more couples are willing to survive the infidelity and ask “How can we get past this and keep our marriage together?”
The largest obstacle to get past is the emotional trauma and the shattered trust. It’s important to know, no matter how devastating and dark the relationship might seem now, it is possible to heal, strengthen and survive a marriage wounded by infidelity.
There is certainly no easy quick-fix. The power to save your marriage from divorce lies within you and your spouse. You both must be willing to take your time, be patient with each other and start rebuilding the trust and communication in a new “different” way. Trying to get back to “the way things were” is not the best solution seeing as something was flawed or missing for the infidelity to have happened in the first place.
Couples from all walks of life, income levels and circumstances have saved their marriage from the brink of an affair disaster. To survive infidelity, both couples must be sincere, committed and willing to work through the healing process. And it is a process.
If there are still feelings between you and your spouse, commit to working on saving your relationship by any means possible. Some couples can manage to rebuild and repair on their own but often outside assistance can be helpful. Experienced marriage counselors offer advice, insight and exercises which can be beneficial. If a marriage counselor is not an option due to funding, there are plenty of online support products or wonderful books from your local book store or library. These resources can aid you and your spouse and offer step by step techniques to help you both rebuild your marriage.
An infidelity does not have to mean the end of your marriage. It can be one of the most difficult challenges you and your spouse will ever deal with but, countless couples who have been on the brink of divorce or separation have successfully rebuilt their marriage. And if others have been successful, you can too!
Denise Dilmore is a freelance writer and the owner of howtosurviveanaffair.ca
I agree that the healing takes time, however, what if he doesn't want to talk about the affair and share why it happened? I know that some things will never be answered, but I have to understand things to digest them. l feel betrayed and as if our whole relationship is a lie.
I am unfortunately going through infidelity right now with my husband. I am hurt, betrayed and do not know if I can continue with the relationship. I think it's the way I found out about the affair. I know marriage is better or for worse, but can I really get back to a solid marriage after this type of "worse"? Feels like everything has been a lie. I appreciate the positive information on your site.
i love how you all encourage us to all be thoughtful about the choices we make. So many blogs will say if someone has an affair it should just be over. But that is just stupid. Marriage is too important to make a heated decision in the moment that will impact you for a lifetime.
Wow- This one is not that easy to answer. It depends on who you are and if Friendship and Love is what got the two of you together. The sting of someone cheating cuts very deep due to violations to a union.
When you think about this, STD's come to mind. Who has this person been with before you and than some. and what if the carrier slip it to your wife or your husband.
I will always say this. It goes right back to what levels of respect was set from the beginning of the two of you. Yes friendships fall apart. How about this as a new thing for couples. Renewal Friendship day. meaning on that day when you first met. At this same place the two of you go there to remember in that spot is where God planned for you and the other and to remind each other while looking deep into each other souls through your eyes. Why "I love You". This is only a gift to one another starting point, a refresher to better things.
Relationship need recharging and when we forget and grow apart for what ever reasons, this means there's something about love we just do not understand. Love has many forms and it would be a shame to live with someone and never test them all through the course of a relationship.
However no one is perfect, but this gift of renewal can surely bring you back to that very first day you feel in love so that if ever the circle you and her or he created can and never be broken.
Again- All of this depend on who you are inside and as a person to make such a promise to another/ These examples are out there in the mix of so many bad examples.
The key is to find this person in you first and soon you shall meet the other.
And last, we attract to us whom we are, sometimes we alter, hey that life but what's inside of you will always find you.
Peace