By Dale L. McClure
Most would usually think that emotional infidelity is less serious than physical infidelity but both share the same devastating effects as having a physical affair.
It can in fact elicit forbidden relationships especially when you are too attached with an individual other than your spouse. Emotional infidelity comes in when one’s emotional needs are unmet.
This leads to the association of an individual with someone other than his or her spouse. A person committing emotional infidelity “appears” to not even have the slightest idea that he is committing such forbidden acts.
There are too many justifications that the signs of impending danger are often overlooked.
Emotional infidelity is much more profound than physical infidelity. Ever heard of the adage “there is nothing so seductive as that which is forbidden”?
With physical infidelity, it is easy for a man or a woman to get over the situation.
Both can be considered cheating but with emotional infidelity the betrayal is kept hidden. When you fantasize about someone or you have lustful feelings toward someone it can grow into something more serious that may put your marriage at risk.
This happens when you see the person you are fantasizing about on a daily basis and you seem to be so attached with each other. Physical infidelity takes place when you hold hands, touch or kiss.
There are warning signs of physical and emotional infidelity and these are something you should watch for if you want to save your marriage.
Since physical infidelity is rooted from emotional infidelity, you should pay heed first to the signs of emotional infidelity and this may include:
• Emotional infidelity usually begins through friendship. This may take place at the workplace or even through a chat room.
Wherever the friendship started, this is something that you need to control as deep bond of friendship may just lead to something more serious.
If you are going to look at the bigger picture, making friends with the opposite sex may seem to be harmless but it can pose a lot of danger to your married life when you start to withdraw from your wife and prefer your “new found friend’s” company.
• If you spend more time with your “friend” than your wife, this is an obvious sign that you are about to border on emotional infidelity.
If you used to spend the weekends bonding with your family and you start changing plans and prefer to hang out with your “friend” it is high time you assess your feelings.
At first, the meetings are too casual but once you show a sign of disinterest in spending time with your spouse and you become too intimate with the other person, this can lead to physical indulges.
These often take place as means of covering up for the qualities that your spouse lacks.
• If you seem to share details of your married life that are supposed to be kept within your married life, you may also hover on the brink of disaster.
Once you share intimate feelings with the “friend” she will also have the tendency to tell you about her personal problems which also involve her married life.
When confrontation arises, most will defend that they are merely friends when the things that happened were the exact opposite.
• You should also watch out when your spouse mentions new friends and new places that have not been normally a part of his social life.
Watching his daily routines will also be necessary as a cheating spouse is more likely to change his daily routines and behavior.
• Emotional infidelity comes your way when your spouse starts to become too critical about your appearance and he/she no longer finds it appealing to spend time with you.
To avoid emotional infidelity you need to:
Steer clear of situations that may lead to forbidden love affairs.
This means you need to avoid making friends when you think that you cannot control your emotions.
You should know where to draw the line and if self-control is an issue, better avoid developing friendships with the opposite sex by all means.
Heed the warning bells
Physical infidelity will not even take place if you know how to put a stop to emotional infidelity and you can do this by simply heeding the tell tale signs of emotional infidelity. Stop convincing yourself that you are “just friends”.
Get out of the situation while you can because you will not realize that you have already subjected yourself to emotional infidelity until it is too late.
If you think that your relationship shows the above signs of emotional and physical infidelity do not ignore these signs as paying attention to them may actually save your marriage.
If you think that your spouse is cheating on you, do not be afraid to express your feelings. If you feel insecure about your relationship tell him or her about it. It is important that you keep your communication line open.
Discuss your personal concerns and allow your partner to explain his or her side. Shouting at the top of your lungs will not resolve anything. In fact, it can worsen the situation.
You can even talk to a marriage counselor if you think that your married life is already on the rocks. When discussing your problems try to see things in your spouse’s perspective.
Do not underestimate the power of emotional infidelity as this is more dangerous than physical infidelity. If you keep on entertaining sexual thoughts outside your marriage, it can lead to something disastrous.
If you think that your spouse is neglecting you, do not hesitate to tell him or her about it. He/she may not have the slightest idea that you are longing for his/her love.
Both of you may be very busy that you failed to give each other a little loving. Be honest with your feelings if you want to fulfill your emotional needs. If you remain mum about your personal feelings, nothing will be resolved.
You always have to be on the lookout for the signs of emotional infidelity because this can produce more deleterious effects than you know.