Foreplay Begins Before The Bedroom

By Dina Z Colada,

What is foreplay anyway? Well to start off, it’s a noun, but it is so much more than that, and if you pay attention and learn the art of epic foreplay you might not even make it to the bedroom. (The backseat or the broom closet might just have to do)!

According to the Urban Dictionary, foreplay is touching, kissing or licking each other in a stimulating manner, in order to become “turned on” before having actual sex. However, in most public places this kind of foreplay isn’t too acceptable, especially the licking part.

But that doesn’t mean you need to wait until after your date to put foreplay skills into action. Non-physical foreplay is a bigger turn-on than twerking to Justin Timberlake‘s latest in the club. Trust me on this ladies, subtlety is sexy. Keep the twerking for your alone time. He’ll think it’s much sexier if you only twerk for him.

There are just a few simple steps for foreplay that starts before the bedroom, and they start with you getting in touch with yourself.

1. Get in tune with your sensual side.
You can do this by getting in touch with your six senses. Oh… you thought there were five? There is one that many people don’t talk about, and we’ll get to that later. Clueless in how to connect with with your sensual energy?  There are the five senses that we all know: taste, touch, smell, hearing and seeing — and using all of these is a big part of foreplay. You’ve got to be tapped in to be turned on. 

Try this exercise: next time you are eating your Caesar salad with grilled chicken, really pay attention to what is going on around you. Notice the heat of the chicken as opposed to the coldness of the fork, and the crispy, crunchy sounds of the romaine and croutons. Notice the textures too.

Whenever you do anything, be really aware of the way things look and feel around you while you have. See the sun shining and be aware of the shimmery ice cubes in your drink, what the condensation feels like on your fingers. Licking the condensation off of your glass is not quite what you want to go for hwew. (Remember subtle is sexy, at least in public).

When you tune into your body and live in the moment, you can get more in touch with your sixth sense. When you are in tune with what is going on with you and your body, you can tap into your intuition, and trusting that part will allow you to be more open with you man. Trusting your instincts will turn both of you on.

2. Let him know how you feel.
When you are aware of what is going on around you and inside of you, it’s easier to connect with a man on a deeper, more sensual level. But you can only do this when you know what you are feeling. If you feel numb, then practice what it means to feel.

Here is a list of emotional words, if you’re not sure what I mean:

  • elated
  • excited
  • receptive
  • relaxed
  • confused
  • happy

Getting in touch with your feelings will help you tap in to yourself, and trusting yourself is a very appealing quality to a man.

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2 replies
  1. Bailey
    Bailey says:

    I'm commenting with an answer to the question in the $100 Visa Card Giveaway…

    I would like to see more articles & discussion about friends of the opposite sex while married as well as more articles & discussion about overcoming infertility/trouble conceiving within marriage.

  2. SmoovMocha
    SmoovMocha says:

    Being in a long-term relationship with kids, school/work schedules, work, etc…you never know how you're really going to feel at the end of the day. And I have (painfully) learned that occasional flirting & sexy/dirty texts throughout the day does not automatically translate to a sensuous night-cap followed by steamy sex or even a late-night quickie. But when the foreplay heats up, it tends to get hot & erotic as well….and well before we've made it close to the bedroom.

    It takes patience & the ability to NOT assume sex is definitely coming to know how to turn my partner on & leave a lasting thought – even when we can't be physically intimate. And, of course, it takes two….as the flirting & sensuous looks/behavior only works when both of us are responding to each other's sexual advances.

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