I Love You BUT Your Approach To Intimacy Is Off Putting.

By Calle Zorro

It’s a peculiar phenomenon…  Any husband can tell you that men and women are different – they think different, they have different ways of reaching the same end, and they march to the beat of different drums.  And yet, even though men know this, their behavior and actions imply that women are just like them – that women have the same approach, the same take, the same perspective, the same processes as they do… But they don’t!  Women do NOT have the same approach, the same take, the same perspective, the same processes that men do.

So, let’s look at some examples where men frequently act as if women are just like them…

Here’s one…  As a general rule, a wife (assuming she’s reasonably attractive) can expose her nude body to her husband and in a matter of a few seconds, her husband will be ready for sexual intercourse.  Oddly enough, the way many men go about lovemaking it’s the same as if they believed they could expose their nude body to their wife and she should be ready for sexual intercourse within a few seconds.

Technically, men understand this difference and yet, when they get into the bedroom with their wife, their actions belie IGNORANCE in the ways of female sexuality.

Here’s another…  When a group of guys are together in a “locker room” type setting, they have a certain way they talk amongst themselves.  Generally, there are plenty of dirty jokes flying around.  Usually, penis size put-downs are being bantered back and forth.  Often, there’s plenty of talk about “using” a woman sexually, etc.  Bizarrely, there are men who come on to their wife in the same way they banter, brag, and bash with their guy friends – although it’s usually somewhat scaled down and softened.

These kinds of guys usually feel genuine affection for their wife and they’re always hurt when their wife doesn’t respond in the way they want her to – and they wonder what’s wrong…

Here’s yet another…  Men can have a perfectly wonderful day accomplishing and achieving whatever it is that they are doing, completely happy, and it doesn’t bother them in the least if their wife doesn’t say a word to them all day.  They can then crawl into bed with their wife at night and accept her sexual advances as if it’s the perfectly natural and appropriate thing to do.

But then, they’ll turn around and swear that they are married to the world’s most non-sexual woman because she doesn’t respond to him after he’s ignored her the entire day.

I could give plenty more examples but you get the idea; men know women are different but they frequently act and behave as if they are the same – AND THEY GET LOUSY RESULTS in their relationship with their wife.

Now, I’m going to reveal a MAJOR SECRET to you…

This tendency you have of PROJECTING – of acting and behaving as if others are just like you – well, guess what?  Your wife has the same tendency too.  Let me say it this way…

For the most part, your wife behaves and acts TOWARDS you the way she wants to be treated BY you.

What this means is that all you have to do to start enjoying more intimacy and more sex with your wife is start paying attention to how she is NATURALLY acting and behaving towards you and then start PROJECTING that same type of action and behavior back to her – in a manly way of course.  This will cause her to feel a closer connection with you which you can then parlay into a sexual connection.

Calle Zorro is the author of: How To Be The Best Lover Your Wife’s Ever Had (And Get Your Wife To Initiate Sex More Often)

6 replies
  1. Elle
    Elle says:

    Intimacy is about getting a better relationship with another not proving that what you suspected has been right. You should keep certain topics out of intimacy and use your intimate time to build a better relationship.

    Im done.

  2. Elle
    Elle says:

    About your first example….we as women make that mistake #1 this has nothing to do with intimacy, secondly men need foreplay more than women do. Just getting naked aint enough. Something happened before you took your clothes off cause if it didn’t you gone have to do the preferred ghetto method of getting that thang hard. ….it’s not the man’s actions that belie IGNORANCE here, it’s more the logic.

    Example 2
    Peer pressure should be kept out of your intimate time. Unless you are so in tuned with your partner that you know how to maximize the experience. If you can’t then you are going to get hurt.


  3. Elle
    Elle says:

    We may think different but we want the same thing. To share love and to be loved. I don’t agree that we have different ways of getting there and march to the beat of a different drummer. I believe that thinking is what gets in the way. We both approach, with caution, fear, anxiety, high expectations, you get the gist. We attempt to conquer or overcome those things to get a better relationship. We have the same process as well, did I do well, do he/she like me, was my hair/clothes okay, am I educated enough, is my religion offensive, will this be a problem, will that be a problem, you get the gist. Again overcome or conquer to be that person that’s best for you.



  4. Tee
    Tee says:

    This is so true and now I’m gonna need you to call my husband personally. I so glad to hear I’m not alone in this world, it’s clearly other ladies experiencing the same behavior. Thanks for making it plain!

  5. SmoovMochaNut
    SmoovMochaNut says:

    This was a really good short article. But what if some women give off "mixed messages" throughout the day? For example: You go about your day as you normally do. You pay extra attention to your wife as she complains about work & coworkers & offer dialogue in discussion to support her as well; you cater to her & make her comfortable into the night. And during that time, she gives you little kisses & tells you she wants to get something going later. When it's time to crawl into bed, she quickly changes, jumps in, covers up, & falls asleep as she bundles up on her side of the bed. Huh?! Confused, as am I.

    I gave the example b/c sometimes men are normally attentive to their gf, wive, partner's needs in regards to intimacy. But have many women considered intimacy needs of men? Intimacy doesn't exactly mean sex, but it does include some physical attention most times. It doesn't help that women sometimes tease their men during the day, but seem to "forget" about all that sex-talk & little comments alluding to sexual pleasures when it's time to head to the bedroom at night. It's all good & fun a few times, but if the teasing becomes a regular thing – especially with no real intentions to do what you've been talking about – it becomes frustrating to men, their ego, to their passion for lovemaking, to their idea of what intimacy & foreplay really is.

    Yes, I love to see my wife nude all the time. I get completely aroused every time….can't help it. But it doesn't necessarily mean I want to have sex. I'm am honestly pleased by what I see. And it doesn't matter that she has gained some weight over time (I have too). I am nonetheless humbled by a beautiful woman that feels confident enough to be undressed around me, and that's exciting…and she just happens to be my wife.

  6. Dee
    Dee says:

    Oh, this is good information right here.

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