I Ain’t Happy… And I Ain’t Leaving

By Jada Am I happy? No.  Am I leaving? No.  Do I close my eyes, hold my breath, and clinch the seam in my skirt hoping that the truth will miss me?  Yes.  But the truth never misses me.  I know my man is cheating on me.  How do I know you ask?  I know because he told me.

He did that damn dance of denial for the first three years of our marriage until I discovered her stank a$$ panties tucked inside my pillow case.  Can you believe that bullshit?  I couldn’t either.  I snapped. I almost knocked him out with the porcelin flower vase on our night stand….in my mind that is.

Really, I just asked him how could you…You dirty, non-committal, dum a$$, evil, motha-fuc!a.  Guess what he said….I’m sorry. Husband….Fu#@ your sorry because you Fu(@ed me everytime I closed my eyes, held my breath, and clinched the seam in my skirt hoping that the truth that I knew way before now would miss me.

Am I happy? No?  Am I leaving? No?  Am I healing? Yes.

*Note* The name of the author has been changed to protect her identity.  Should you find yourself in a similar situation feel free to connect with Ayize & Aiyana Ma’at for therapeutic support by CLICKING THE PIC BELOW.