by Farraday Miller
Savory thoughts of Sunday dinner cloud my mind and if I sit still just long enough and close my eyes tight enough, I can smell sweet potato pie, collard greens and cornbread. The table was filled with food and the kitchen looked like a smorgasbord. It was like this every Sunday after church and people were all over the house eating, laughing, talking, visiting our family. Despite what I told you last time, my parents went to church every Sunday without fail and most of the time at least 2 families came home with us. Every lady wanted to be like my mother and sadly, almost all of them had been with my father. My father was tall, dark and handsome and a charmer that would talk sales people into buying the product that they were selling to him. He was smooth. I see why they all wanted him but my mother was the lucky one who he chose to make his wife.
She called herself “green,” an expression I wasn’t quite familiar with at the time. She explained that she believed every lie he told and didn’t ever question the inconsistencies. She said that one day she saw of glimpses of him washing himself in the sink after dinner only to discover that one of his trips to the restroom was not alone. She searched her mind and thought about everyone in attendance and didn’t see one time when someone else left the room with him. She later found out that it was a late comer who never bothered to come all the way in and join the others. They met at the door and headed to the guest bathroom downstairs. The cheap perfume was the giveaway when she went to prayer meeting that following Wednesday. The unholy hug that she was greeted with by her fellow church member was the final confirmation of who the other woman was.
My mother was never visibly upset by any rendezvous of this type, she always just went out for air. At the time we didn’t speak of any problems. In fact, I thought my life was perfect. I guess in their own way they attempted to shield me from discomfort but all it did was provide me with a false sense of security that I now believe to be an injustice. As I write, my intent is to ask parents to consider future ramifications. I know that many choose, just like my parents, to smile for the sake of their children. But the hard lesson that is learned beyond the smile is damaging to relationships.
I don’t have the solution to the issue of infidelity. In the perfect world, couples would search their relationships and themselves for solid proof that they are absolutely ready for a commitment and really accept what that means. Both people would be grounded in the knowledge and truth of God as the 3rd party in the relationship and recommit daily to the vows taken. Even in the face of adversity and temptations, in the perfect world, couples would remain committed to the mantra – one man, one woman for one lifetime. A defiled wedding bed is a spirit that too many of us acknowledge, welcome and encourage. If ever we needed to provide a united front as as family, it is in the area of keeping the door, our hearts, arms and legs closed to this horrible offender. I am taking a stand and abandoning you temptation. You can’t live here anymore. Get thee behind me!
Farraday Miller is a singer and songwriter who believes that one must be healed first before helping others. The stories that she tells whether through song or written is her offering of peace.
