Jada Pinkett Smith Gives Tough Love Advice To A Friend About Loving Your Husband’s Children
What’s up BLAM Fam,
Check out this letter that Jada Pinkett Smith wrote to a friend who’s dealing with some blended family issues. Let us know what you think. Was it too in your face? Was it on point…and what a lot of other women need to hear?
A letter to a friend:
Blended families are NEVER easy, but here’s why I don’t have a lot of sympathy for your situation because… we CHOOSE them. When I married Will, I knew Trey was part of the package…Period! If I didn’t want that…I needed to marry someone else. Then I learned if I am going to love Trey…I had to learn to love the most important person in the world to him…his mother. And the two of us may not have always LIKED each other… but we have learned to LOVE each other.
I can’t support any actions that keep a man from his children of a previous marriage. These are the situations that separate the women from the girls. Your behavior is that of an insecure child who needs to recognize her own weaknesses that MUST be strengthened to take on the task at hand. We can’t say we love our man and then come in between him and his children. THAT’S selfishness…NOT love. WOMAN UP… I’ve been there…I know. My blended family made me a giant… Taught me so much about love, commitment and it has been the biggest ego death to date. It’s time you let your blended family make you the giant you truly are.
I believe that's a great letter, and to the point. If this is her friend she wrote to, then that friend is lucky to have a friend like Jada. SOmetimes truth hurts, but we are adults. Honest and truth to me, are two of the most important gifts we can give to those we love. And something we should require from those who say they love us.
Point taken. I would add however that not all situations are the same. We often have to find out what works in our case just as she found out what works in hers. Loving and living with one another while gaining mutual respect. It is a process and the father has to be just as involved as the mothers.
The way she starts out suggests that the friend is being whining and may not want the husband spending time with this child that's not hers. I think because she too has a blended family she wasn't too harsh because she's speaking from personal experience not hearsay.
I wish we could see the original letter to get some perspective. It reads a bit harsh, but maybe the woman was whining and being petulant or petty with the kids, in which case tough love was well in order.
The words may have been tough but the point is right on. It could have been communicated with a little more love but regardless the facts remain the same. If you can't do a blended family, make a different choice.