Do you feel all awkward when you think about romance? Do your palms get sweaty…do you start to get a nervous twitch on the most conspicuous part of your body when you think about going outside the norm and romancing your partner? Are you afraid of the intimacy that’s attached to romance? Do you dare to be romantic and take the risk to experience a richer connection? Being romantic involves finding out what your partner wants (not what they need!), and then finding a unique way to meet those wants. Pretty simple, huh?
Let’s get one thing cleared up first. Being romantic isn’t about some grand extravagant gesture like flying first class to Paris for a 2 week romantic blitz. Itís about the little things. Little things are simple things that you do for your loved one. Despite the fact that they are “little” they can mean a lot because it illustrates that you took time out of your busy life just to show them how much you care.
One thing that most people want, male and female, is to feel special and loved. It’s how you show them that you love them, where the challenge comes in. Some people feel loved when they are told repeatedly that they are loved. Others feel loved when they are touched frequently. And others see love in gestures and everyday kindnesses. Of course, there are others that may need all three of the above to really feel loved and secure but usually there is one need that dominates. You need to find out what your partner needs and then you can begin working out what method you will use to romance them.
Not sure what your loved one prefers? Do an experiment or three and see how they respond? You’ll very quickly work it out.
What can you do if your loved one wants to hear how much you love them? You need to tell them. But don’t just tell them and have it coming off like some kind of rote response to hello or goodbye or please pass the pepper. Think about different ways you can get your message across. You could:
. Post them a good old fashioned love letter
. Send a romantic email
. Text them a love message
. Place a love note somewhere it will be found easily, in their car or lunch bag or under their pillow or taped to the phone receiver or their computer
. For the kid in all of us! Use multi-colored, sidewalk chalk to draw a BIG heart in red and write “I love you” in the middle of the heart. Do this someplace prominent like your driveway so that when your partner comes home they will see it right away.
. Make a long list of the many reasons why you love your partner and have the list framed and present it to them.
. If you don’t live together, call your loved one just to say goodnight and recite a favorite love poem over the phone.
. Give your loved one a compliment, about how great they look or what their smile does to you
If your loved one needs regular physical contact to feel loved you can:
. Give them a massage on their back and feet at the end of a work week…it is always well received!
. Keep in physical contact as often as you can, for example, when watching TV together, eating dinner (it doesn’t just have to be hands, you can make sure your feet or legs are touching)
. Give them random hugs
. Put your arm around your loved one in public
. Hold hands as you walk side by side
. Cuddle up in your pj’s and watch a romantic movie together
. Make sure you kiss them when you get home and kiss before you leave
If your actions speak louder than words for your loved one then you’ll want to focus on gestures that express your feelings. You can try:
. While your partner showers, heat up his or her towel in the dryer.
. Have flowers delivered to partner at work.
. Surprise your partner by arriving home with their favorite drink, snack, or ice-cream.
. Arrange for an intimate lunch date with your partner. Then afterward, send a virtual card. Tell them how much you enjoyed lunch together.
. Call your partner in the middle of the day to discuss your romantic plans for that evening.
. Write your own love coupon offering an hour of your time as their personal love slave.
. Cook a favorite meal for your partner and then eat it, slowly, by candlelight.
. Pick a bouquet of wild flowers and present them with a kiss.
. Call spontaneously at their work to say ìI am thinking of you.
If they like all of the above then you can really go wild and mix it all up together. The only limit is your own imagination and the desire to make it happen.