By Team BLAM
Love is sometimes the choice to go against your feelings. It’s similar to what I do every morning when I get up. I don’t know about you, but If I get out of bed in the mornings because I “felt” like getting out of bed, I’d pretty much never get up. Almost every morning, including this morning, I go against my feelings, get up, do something I think to be good, and before the day is over, I feel good about having done it. Love is not a feeling. Feelings follow behavior; therefore, loving feelings follow loving behavior. Loving actions on my part not only bring me positive feelings about myself, but, they will stimulate positive feelings inside of your partner.
Some may question the concept of showing intentional love to someone you’re really going through it with. Is it really realistic to show intentional love to someone you can honestly say you don’t like and are starting to resent? You have negative feelings, but you are doing or saying something positive.
The scholar C.C. Lewis once said:
The rule for all of us is perfectly simple. Do not waste time bothering with whether you “love” your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this, we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you love someone, you will presently come to love him. If you injure someone you dislike, you will find yourself disliking him more. If you do him a good turn, you will find yourself disliking him less.
Remember BLAM Fam, people seldom drift to success. Loves takes effort. Our relationships are here to grow us, pleasure us, reward us, and challenge us. You want a strong relationship? Then act like it and the love will truly follow.
Adapted from How To Avoid Falling For A Jerk by John Van Epp, Ph.D.
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