Mama, Why Can’t You Be Proud Of Me? Why Can’t You Praise Me? Am I Not Good Enough?

If you are a teacher….WATCH THIS.  If you got kids in your neighborhood….WATCH THIS.  If you got nieces, nephews or grand children….WATCH THIS.  If you are the guardian of a child…WATCH THIS.  If you are a parent….WATCH THIS.  If you plan to be a parent….YOU BETTA WATCH THIS.

We first encountered the wisdom of Dr. Joy DeGruy 6 years ago.  To say the least we were truly impacted.  Her words will kick you in the gut and make you aware that IT’S OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO LOVE OUR CHILDREN AND RAISE OUR CHILDREN.  If we don’t give them love….it’s very easy (considering the world we live in) for them to internalize self hate.  We appreciate you Dr. DeGruy.  B Intentional Yall!

Dr. Joy is a nationally and internationally renowned researcher, educator, author and presenter. She is an ambassador for healing and a voice for those who’ve struggled in search of the past, and continue to struggle through the present.A highly skilled and educated activist for social justice, Dr. Joy reaches people on the community level and has a captivating way of persuading others to search for a deeper understanding of themselves. CLICK HERE to visit her website.

10 replies
  1. Kim G.
    Kim G. says:

    Saw this sista a few years ago and all I can say is she is POWERFUL! If she's ever in your area you have got to experience her in person. You can 'Like" her on facebook!

  2. Jasmine B
    Jasmine B says:

    You are POWERFUL sister.Seven years later and this still needs to be spread through the masses and genuinely absorbed.After watching this I immediately turned to my three year old son and told him how proud of him I am.

  3. His Joy
    His Joy says:

    This was right on time. My SO graduated HS and has dual college degrees. He graduated at the top of his class. He works hard and tries to take care of his parents and elders in the community. His parents never told him how proud they are of him. They “expected” him to do well….. but never praised him when he did.

    One day while talking (as we often do) I told him how proud I am of his achievements and that I couldn’t wait to see what else he achieved. He broke down and told me that praise in his home was nonexistent. That is so sad. We need to love our sons and daughters AND teach them their worth.

  4. Patricia Knight
    Patricia Knight says:

    I've witnessed this syndrome in my family and friends. I deliberately went the other way; I often speak of how beautiful my daughter is, how accomplished, smart and talented she is, and how blessed we are to be her parents. I don't know which came first, the compliments or her achievements, but she's a teenaged honor student, excellent violinist, knows that she's beautiful and doesn't let anyone mistreat her. She chooses friends who are good for her, and treat her well. Again, I don't know which came first, but I know that the "normal" teenaged problems aren't happening in our home.

  5. Chef Anthony Head
    Chef Anthony Head says:

    Ditto the above comments, I am a father of two young children, the oldest of which is my son and this reverberates so deep in my soul. Having been fortunate to be raised by a widowed father, he ALWAYS gave me praise and reminded me not of my "stock" and what I was not just able, but expected to do this life. Thank you so much for reminding me (and my wife) of our responsibility to fill the void of esteem, both in our own children and in that of those of our community.

  6. Jakki
    Jakki says:

    Great Nourishment 4TheMind~

  7. Tasha Butler
    Tasha Butler says:

    Yes! This is 7 years old and yet we still have not conquered this. It is unfortunate. I do not have any kids but this was thought provoking and I know this will stick! Thanks for sharing.

  8. Angie K.
    Angie K. says:

    Class in session. Dr. DeGruy you broke it down. I was over here crying because I realize I'm guilty of minimizing my child's achievements when I should be giving him a standing ovation. Thank you thank you thank you

  9. Erika
    Erika says:


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