There has been a lot in the press about the Utah mother who gave up her baby for adoption, only to have a judge order the little girl be returned to her biological father. There are so manyopinions out there about what should and shouldn’t be done. However, we at BLAM hope this family and all of the folks involved in this case take the time to think about 2 very important things:
#1 A biological parent should always be seriously and painstakingly considered when they are endeavoring to have a relationship with and take responsibility for their child.
Assuming, the parent is an upstanding member of society like you and I….Why would one block this? Of course, a parent who has not been a part of a child’s life shouldn’t expect to waltz into that child’s life and just take over—that would be in the primary interest of the parent–not the best interest of the child. That leads us to point #2….
#2 Do what’s truly in the best interest of the child.
Of course, that’s easier said than done because everyone has their own idea of what’s best. However, we think this intention is often made more complicated than it needs to be. The overarching question should always be “How will this impact the child?’ Does it benefit a child to have their father in their life? What’s the impact when a child does? What’s the impact when the child doesn’t? Is it important for a child to have continuity and familiarity in their life? What’s the impact when they do? How about when they don’t? What are the far reaching and long lasting results of the decisions that are made today regarding this child??? What’s the impact? What’s the impact? What’s the impact?!
Get updated on this controversial case below BLAM Fam. What do you think?
A judge has ordered Utah couple Jared and Kristi Frei to return the adopted toddler to her biological father, Terry Achane, after it was revealed that Bland gave up the child without the father’s knowledge or permission.
“Her well being is all that matters to me,” Bland told ABC News referring to her child. “I want to see her successful. I want to see her in a home, a good home.”
She is sorry that her ex-husband is challenging the adoption.
“I’m hurt for the Fries,” Bland said. “They’re great people.”
The question of who will provide that home is now at the center of a contentious custody battle.
When Achane learned last year that the child, who he calls Teleah, was being raised by the Freis, he asked a court to give him custody.Achane, 31, a staff sergeant in the Army and Bland’s ex-husband, was transferred from Texas where he lived with Bland to South Carolina.
The staff sergeant claims that in 2010, without his knowledge, Bland put the child up for adoption through a Utah agency.Last month, a judge did just that. The Freis now have less than 60 days to return the 21-month-old girl, who they call Leah, to her father. But a lawyer for the Freis told ABC News earlier this week that they don’t plan to return the toddler, and will appeal the judge’s ruling.
Bland says the Freis took her in, and agreed to the adoption after Achane left Texas and moved to South Carolina with the Army. Both sides agree he knew Bland was pregnant, and that he still had to move for work.
Bland says that the she and Achane had discussed adoption, but in the end, she says, he abandoned her and that’s why she turned to the Freis.
“They cared about me and the well being of Teleah when he wasn’t there, when he didn’t care,” Bland said. “He showed no interest in me being pregnant. When he left me, he didn’t leave me with an address. I didn’t have a home address on him.”
Achane’s lawyers deny that, saying he was paying Bland’s bills, and wanted to take care of their unborn daughter.
“The judge heard [Bland’] story, and completely ruled against her. He did not find that her story was credible,” Wiser said.
Bland now says that she wants what she thinks is best for the baby.
“My heart was comfortable with her being with the Freis,” she said. “I’d rather see her with me struggling first before she goes with him.”
Achane is now thrilled with the judge’s ruling and the prospect that he will be united with his baby.