My Wife Of 15 Years Cheated On Me…And I Went To Jail
What would you do if you found out that your wife of 15 years had been cheating on you? Check out this video and see how this husband responded. Do you think their relationship is over and impossible to put back together? Listen in and let us know what you think.
Viewer Letter:
Hi. I am a 40 year old male and my life and marriage changed drastically last year. My wife of 15 years had sex with another man. I found out in April that they had been talking on the phone several times a day and that she had sent him pictures (of what I dont know) I went to jail in April when I found out because I slapped her. I was wrong for putting my hands on my wife but I regret that to this day. I found out the truth about them meeting at a hotel from the guy wife she told me she had found a hotel receipt in his pants dated May 1st plus a letter came for my wife that i read and it was test results from her OBGYN so when i saw the test that were given I asked her about it and she told me the truth in August about yes she did sleep with the guy and she is sorry but she says she didnt know if i loved her or wanted her and if she wanted me after i slapped her, remember I found out in April.She says it only happened once and it will never happen again and before I slapped her she would not have sleep with him. My wife and I are still together and we are trying to work things out but its hard. She became pregnant and I feel it was his baby but she tells me it was our baby but she didnt want anymore kids. I dont believe herbecause she told me before that it may be his but she said she was saying that because she was stunned by the etter from the OBGYN and she says she thought his condom may have broke but she knows it didnt and she regrets hurting me and our family. How do I trust her? How do I trust her again? How can I believe she wont cheat on me again? I do love her but right now im still disappointed in her decisions.
With such a history of marriage, it's hard to tell of any advice will help the couple. Could the husband accept that his wife cheated – b/c she was unsure of the strength of their relationship – and rebuild a bond of trust & mutual love? Will the wife realize that b/c she cheated, she violated a fairly deep relationship the husband "thought" they had? I am not saying the guy was right for slapping his wife – that was wrong. He lost control – at least for a fairly deeply emotional reason.
The husband is affected not only b/c the wife cheated, but that she ignored the opportunity to talk her differences out before thinking about doing such a thing. It's a very hard pill to swallow – as an adult – when your supposed "most trusted friend" gives themselves to another person (physically) & to do so b/c they "thought" the other didn't care about them anymore. And how easy was it for the wife to accept the attention of another guy – to fantasize about a physical connection – when thinking that her husband didn't care about her anymore? If she truly thought he hadn't cared about her, she'd been devastated – something the husband would've felt from her BEFORE she cheated. He should have the newborn test to verify that he is really their father. Better to just find out & know for sure instead of living with some small amount of doubt that could be revealed later.
I say this to point out that the "he/she didn't care about me, so I cheated" explanation is more of a weak, frequently-used excuse pitched by people that haven't truly accepted the responsibility of making such an irresponsible & hurtful decision. If you're that hurt (& disconnected) from a partner or spouse that you consider cheating to make you feel better….it's would be a mature decision to share those feelings initially & just separate. And it doesn't matter if it was "just (casual) sex, not a reoccurring affair" – it was the thought of, the planning to, the lying about, the act of having sex with somebody else that does hurt deeply.
Good Advice
Your kemistry is OFF THE HOOK!!! Love you fam..LOL!!
I love the way you engage each other. It's so organic. Thanks for the insight.
Wow, that was a messed up situation. Love the advice as usual. I doubt that this is going to work out.