By Marie C. Barrett
Menopause heralds the start of a fabulous time in your life. It does not mean the end of your love life. By no means! Here we are talking about having great sex during and after menopause. It is not only perfectly wonderful to be sexy, flirty and erotic in your 50s and 60s, but you deserve to feel as emotionally and physically fulfilled as ever, in fact, more than ever before! Menopause is a transition into freedom from the monthly dirge, and any adverse symptoms can be handled quite well.
Our sexual appetites are not lost as we age; it is the image of ourselves as sexual sirens that changes for many women. It depends greatly on a woman’s upbringing, on what kind of programming she has been given since her early days. But whatever that may have been, now is the time to rediscover her power to be, do and experience the full flowering of her sexuality with wisdom and maturity.
The sexual/cultural revolution of the 1960s led to a change in attitudes towards sex, spirituality, feminism and many other aspects of self discovery. These same radicals, women and men, of the 1960s are now the boomers of today, still reshaping traditional ideas and attitudes to sex as they age. They are once more on the forefront of a sexual revolution that is pushing aside the boundaries of what is acceptable. In doing so they are giving themselves space to enjoy a deeper sense of intimacy and communication with their partners, and a more embracing acceptance of themselves as attractive, wise and loving people.
While for some their sex drive slows down as they age, and that is quite normal, it in no way means the fun stops, not a chance. Take time to relax and enjoy the freedom of sex without contraception, or simply use this time to become more intimate with your partner at other levels of closeness and insight.
They say a man needs sex first to make love meaningful and a woman needs love first to make sex meaningful. We need to find a sweet meeting place of understanding between the two to make our love-making mutually satisfying and joyous, regardless of age.
Sadly, many women passing through the menopause years and beyond continue to operate from the same set of memories, thoughts and feelings that have run their entire sexual lives. Their sexuality is kept separate from other aspects of their life and they cannot give themselves permission to express their sexuality freely and with expansive joy.
It is time to let go of this kind of outdated programming. Everyone has pre programming about sex, such as sex is for reproduction only; while sex may be for pleasure, do not have too much fun; sex is a sin, a need, a duty; you cannot have love without sex; a good wife always submits to her man, his needs are more important than hers, and the repressive list may go on. Why have we bundled sex within all these limiting beliefs?
The sexuality they talk about in their 50s and beyond, is the same sexuality of their youth and adult years, a sexuality informed by old thoughts and attitudes they have not cleared and brought to consciousness and feelings they have not integrated. If this is the case with you, it is time to have a deep re-think about the role of sex in your life, and the implications of your sexuality for every aspect of who you believe yourself to be. It is time to break out of the box of your self-imposed limitations and enjoy your sexuality with love.
Marie C. Barrett writes extensively on health and wealth issues. If you would like more information on menopause, especially how to cope with its symptoms