Once A Cheater Always A Cheater?

By Ruth Purple

Once a cheater, always a cheater- yes we are all familiar with this maxim. However, personally, the choice to heed or not to heed this said adage depends on how sincerely sorry the person in question is. And often than not, the truth always comes out with regard to sincerity. Sadly, the truth oftentimes involves cheating again.

I’m not the only one who thinks so, my friend Maria, who has been there, done that, daringly said, “Once a cheater always a cheater. Like an alcoholic will always be an alcoholic even if they never drink again.

It’s in their blood to cheat. They may not cheat as often but once an opportunity arises, they cheat because that’s who they are and always will be. It takes a very strong and dedicated person to decide on their own not to cheat.” These are strong words. Nevertheless, I totally agree with her when she said that it takes a strong and dedicated person to decide on their own not to cheat. In my e-book, “You Can Get Him Back, Winning Your Man Back From Infidelity.” You will know that he or she is sincerely sorry with the effort he/ she is willing to go through in proving him or (her) self. In other words, if the cheater doesn’t show genuine desire to reform, then there is no hope for the habitual cheater to change.

To help you figure out if the reformed cheater is willing to change his or her ways, look for these signs:

* The reformed philanderer admits his philandering ways and is willing to do whatever it takes to change it.

* The reformed philanderer is very enthusiastic in proving himself to you. The cheater is fully aware that there will be tough terrains ahead of him, but he doesn’t see the difficulty of it all, all he sees are opportunities to make things right.

* The reformed philanderer is willing to go through the nitty- gritty of your relationship. The cheater is risking a lot when he wants to dissect your relationship. He may end up offending you by hearing words that you do not want to hear, but you have to see this in a positive manner, because this is the cheaters way of telling you that, “I want to work this out, I need your support.” This is the perfect time for you to offer a non-judgmental listening ear.

* The reformed philanderer is willing to face and accept the consequences of his actions. A cheater who is willing to make things right understands the degree of pain and suffering he has caused, with this, he is willing to deal with the fact that some of your friends and family members will frown- upon him and most importantly, he is willing to accept his limited freedom and time. He understands the need to not letting you worry or giving a hint of suspicion.

* The reformed philanderer is willing to discuss the reasons why he strayed and offers solutions how not to do it again. This is a very important factor, if he has awareness of his weaknesses and is willing to confront them, there is a huge possibility that he will not stray again. If your reformed cheater shows this act, be supportive if you want to work things out in your relationship.

Each person is unique and we all have our own way of showing how genuine we are to change. But the fascinating thing is, no matter how different we are in proving ourselves, disingenuousness always finds its way out. Because, again, the truth always comes out.

Ruth Purple is a Relationship Expert who has been successfully coaching individuals and couples in their relationships. Get A Copy of her sensational ebook on Winning Over Infidelity. Experience a Happier Love Life.  You can read more from Ruth at http://www.relazine.com

2 replies
  1. Carolyn
    Carolyn says:

    I firmly believe that once a cheater you are NOT always a cheater. I used to be one and now 10 years later I am happily married to the same man and we got through and I changed. It was hard work but it was time for me to stop running from myself and my issues. Today my husband and I are more in love than ever. Hard work pays off. Trust me I know.

    • Confused
      Confused says:

      It's actually nice to be able to hear that there is a woman out there that doesn't truely believe that "Once a cheater, always a Cheater". I have been faithful to my wife for over 11yrs, but now have to deal with the idea and realization of being seperated because I found that SHE has started another relationship with someone else. Even after finding out, I keep asking myself if I had done everything that I could to keep her loyalty to me.

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