By Kim Conant
You may imagine that agreeing to have sex before you have a monogamous commitment from a man could lead to the commitment you seek. Wrong. If he gets to have sex with you before commitment, you lose some of your power to get him to commit. After all, why should he commit further if he’s already having sex with you? Yes, you may answer, but with sexual intimacy he’ll fall for me even more. Wrong again. With sexual intimacy before commitment, all you know is that his cock is in love with your vagina. You are beautiful, feminine, and have a gorgeous, fully shaved vagina. Of course, he’s in love with your sexual organs! What man wouldn’t be? But you want his love for you to come before his love for your sexual organs. My husband loves me (and tells me) and loves my sexual organs and tells me. But he had to like and love and commit to me first, before he got to experience mine, which he instantly loved, too.
By the way, “instant commitments” don’t count. If you’ve teased him to the point of nakedness or of being only an undergarment away from nakedness, and then ask him, “You do love me, don’t you?” do not be fooled by the answer “Of course I do.” That is his manhood talking. At this point his brain has been kidnapped by his throbbing manhood. All his brain blood now resides in his swollen one, and his is totally in charge of what his mouth says. “Of course I love you” means “Of course I love your sexual organs.” If you let a Good Man have sex with you before commitment, you risk losing that Good Man because you were too easy; you weren’t selective or demanding enough.
Be patient. Get the commitment first. You need to have sex only with a committed Good Man.
It may take you several weeks or several months of dating a man to determine whether you want to have sex with him. This is not an unreasonable time frame for such an important decision. Again, it is totally appropriate to share your thoughts with a man regarding your qualifications of a Good Man and your fundamental needs. Also discuss how he sees your relationship, both now and in the future. If you decide that sex with this man is appropriate for you, then mutually commit to monogamy and go for it. If he is unwilling to commit to monogamy, do not agree to have sex with him.
Kim Conant, the author of Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man, Hunter House Publishers. Looking for relationship, dating and sex tips? Visit Py’s website at http://www.AmericanGeishaHouse.com.