By Diana Oak
You know what you want in a romantic partner, but how do you go about finding someone who has those qualities? While opposites might attract in some cases, these usually don’t result in steady or long-term relationships. The most solid ones are based more on “like attracts like.” That means you’re better off working on developing those desired partner qualities yourself, so that you’ll attract someone who already has them. Here’s how to do just that.
Take Good Care of Yourself
You want someone who looks and feels their best, so you should take steps to make sure that the same applies to you. Get enough rest, eat healthy foods, drink plenty of water, learn how to manage stress and get regular exercise and fresh air. This will help keep you in good shape physically and emotionally.
Work on Fixing Personality Flaws
Everyone has their own quirks, but if you have a flaw or two that you’d hate to deal with in a partner, work toward fixing them. Are you constantly late for appointments or dates? Are you a perfectionist or a slob? Start changing these undesirable qualities, so you’ll be more likely to find someone who doesn’t have them.
Be a Good Listener
Communicating is an important aspect of any relationship, but listening can be the tougher part to master. Work on becoming a good listener when you talk to friends, family or co-workers. Your future partner will appreciate the fact that you’re focused and attentive while they’re speaking.
Learn to Be Romantic
If you’re not a natural romantic but you wish to find one, learn how to become one in order to get the pheromones flowing. Be more in touch with your emotions, read some romantic poetry or books and get creative about how you would woo someone you’re interested in.
Develop a New Skill
Does your ideal romantic partner have a skill that you don’t possess? You can change that by working on developing that skill. Whether it’s being a great cook or a wonderful dancer, take classes that will teach you this new skill and practice it on a regular basis.
Work on Being Honest
If honesty isn’t your best policy, practice becoming more straightforward and truthful. Being able to trust each other is one of the most important aspects of a relationship, so give them reasons to do so. Telling a little white lie to spare someone’s feelings every so often isn’t a problem, but making a habit of lying is a big one.
Practice Being More Open
Being hesitant about sharing your feelings or talking about yourself can prevent your relationship from really taking off. Since you want a partner who isn’t closed off emotionally, work on being more open with other people. Even focusing on your thoughts and writing them down in a journal can help you feel more comfortable expressing your feelings.
Improve Your Social Skills
You don’t have to become a completely outgoing person if that’s not your thing, but working on how you interact with others can help you find the ideal romantic partner. Practice striking up conversations and finding interesting topics to discuss with others. Pay attention to social cues too so you know when to switch topics or how to politely end a conversation.
Instead of shying away from challenges, learn to step outside of your comfort zone and try new things. You can learn more about yourself this way and what appeals to you, which will help you find the perfect partner. Taking reasonable risks can also give you a big confidence boost.
No matter how much you and your future partner have in common, you won’t be exactly the same. Work on being able to adapt to minor and major changes, so you can overcome any differences the two of you might have.
The author Diana Oak is a relationship consultant and co-founder of LiveLoveLaw. You can tweet Diana for free advice: @MissLoveDoc