By Jamie Jefferson
A giggly game of Trivial Pursuit and a tall margarita. After nine years of marriage, that is how my husband and I last expressed our love for one another.
It is important to say I Love You with both passion and frequency. And we can say it not only with our words but with our actions, with our facial expressions and body language, even with our thoughts. Lasting intimacy comes from an everyday appreciation and a reverence for the daily moments we spend in the company of one another.
Here are 50 simple ways you can demonstrate the depth of your love. (I have used the words he and she interchangeably here. The following ideas are not gender specific.)
1. Write down fifty favorite memories of your life spent together so far. Invite your partner to add to the list, as well as to share special ideas for the future.
2. Leave a message on her voicemail with a silly, romantic poem. (Roses are red, violets are blue . . .)
3. Make a CD featuring the songs that have been important in your relationship. Slip it into the CD player of her car.
4. Bring homemade cookies or brownies to his office with a simple love note.
6. Surprise her with some bath salts and her favorite magazine. Then take the kids out of the house for the evening so she can enjoy some time alone.
7. Stash a love note in his shoe.
8. Spend some time talking about all the goals you have been able to accomplish during your time as a couple. Reflecting on the things that you have been able to do with the strength of the other, including the challenges, can really help you to remember and to celebrate the depth of your relationship and how you have supported one another through it all.
9. Serve her breakfast in bed.
10. Give him some time one Saturday to do something he enjoys but rarely takes the time for.
11. Buy her luxurious new silk pajamas that will make her feel treasured and cherished each time she puts them on.
12. Create a special sign (such as a specific hand gesture) that means I Love You, just between the two of you.
13. Listen without interrupting.
14. Give her a few minutes of time alone when she first gets home from work. Sometimes, we each need a bit of time to process the transition from work life to family life.
15. Watch a sporting event together.
16. Place a single daisy on her windshield.
18. Surprise him by purchasing his favorite DVD or the latest CD of his favorite vocal artist.
19. Talk lovingly about your partner to others, and avoid criticizing your mate to your friends or family. Even if your words never make it back to your partner, the tension and negative energy will eventually wedge its way between you.
20. Talk a walk together.
21. Rub his back.
22. Dance to your favorite song.
23. Re-create your first date.
24. Light candles at dinnertime.
25. Write a love note and slip it under his pillow.
26. Send a romantic text message.
27. Send flowers, just because.
28. Keep a scrapbook of your love, from first meeting through courtship, through marriage. Write a few journal entries about how your love for one another has evolved as you have grown together, and the new kinds of energy each new phase of your relationship has created.
29. Take him out to lunch.
30. Make her coffee so it is ready when she gets up.
31. Jot down 20 things you love about him and slip it under his dinner plate.
32. Cook her favorite breakfast.
33. Choose a book you both will enjoy, and read it aloud together.
34. Rent a romantic movie.
35. Slip a Hershey Kiss and a Hershey Hug into her coat pocket.
36. Write about the feelings you felt when you first met your mate. Write about the first time you knew you were in love.
37. Celebrate special days in your relationship with unique traditions and rituals.
38. Have you been holding a grudge against your partner? Today, forgive it and move on. Witness how much power the act of forgiveness injects into your relationship.
39. Rub her feet. 40. Find creative places to write I Love You: in whipped cream on a slice of pie, carved into the side of an apple, in the steam on the bathroom mirror. 41. Bring flowers to her in the middle of the day. 42. Spend a few minutes together in bed each morning. 43. Call his mother and father and thank them for creating such a wonderful son.
44. Do a chore that is typically reserved for him. 45. Tell her she looks amazing. 46. Write her a love letter and mail it. 47. If she has had a rough day at work, bring home her favorite take out and a bottle of wine. 48. Create a marquis on your screensaver that declares your love.
49. Choose your favorite photo of the two of you as a couple and frame two copies: one for each of you to take to work.
50. Play a board game or a game of cards. (Margaritas optional.)
Jamie Jefferson writes for Momscape, http://www.momscape.com .