Men Listen Up. Here’s What Women Really Want

By James Brito

It’s a question every guy asks himself, every guy struggles with at some point or another, every guy desperately wants to know the answer to:


The answer isn’t easy to come by. There are as many answers as there are types of women: young, old; fat, skinny; talkative, quiet; beautiful…not so beautiful. They all want different things, different men for their different personalities. It’s enough to drive a man crazy! We want to know so badly what it is women desire that Hollywood addressed the age-old question with the movie “What Women Want” (which, I’m embarrassed to say, I enjoyed).

So, surely…there must be something ALL women want?

That’s the good news: There are certain qualities every woman can appreciate. And as men, that’s what we need to focus on most.

Not on what we THINK they want, but on what we can KNOW they want.

Maybe we think being 6′5″, wealthy, and built like a football player is what every woman wants, but (thankfully) it’s not. Only certain women want that, and the groupies who only want a millionaire athlete on steroids usually aren’t even worth your time.

It’s better to focus on the women YOU really want: the women who make you feel good, and make you a better man. Empower yourself with a sense of choice, so that you don’t waste your time (and theirs) hitting on girls who don’t fit with your personality and purpose. The great news is, if you can provide the basic qualities that all women REALLY desire, then getting the girl of your dreams will be easy!

So let’s look at some things we can safely say women want in a man–regardless of his size, regardless of his looks, regardless of his wealth.

1. A demonstrative value.

That is, women want to know that their man is someone other women would want. They want a certain “gotta have” quality about their man. This is why, when we go out with a girlfriend, women give us looks and always seem more interested. It’s annoying but true: the easiest way to get a girl, is to have one already!

Naturally, that doesn’t mean that you should be hitting on girls when you have a girlfriend. No way! But when you are single, it’s important to know how to show value. I’ve got a great lesson on this in my e-book that will show you everything you need to know: how to make her laugh, how to show a talent, and how to make sure she never leaves you.

There’s so much to learn, but in short, you want to be a guy girls love to be around, and that other girls want to have! If you don’t feel like you’re there right now, do your best to be a fun-loving guy who people enjoy being around. Be quick with a smile, and quick with a joke. Even a guy who smiles a lot can be someone girls want. Who doesn’t enjoy being around someone who’s happy, who lifts the mood of the room?

2. A man who needs her…but not too much.

This can greatly value from girl to girl, but basically women DO want to feel appreciated. They just don’t want to be obsessed over. Guys, show interest in a woman, and make her feel beautiful and wanted…but don’t slave over her and make her feel like you can’t live without her. That’s just pathetic, and drives women away.

I wrote a blog on how women want to feel needed. Check it out now if you want to find out how to show your woman the right amount of love.

3. A feeling of security.

Women want to feel safe with a man. They want to know that everything’s gonna be all right. This doesn’t mean you have to be huge and strong, or have millions in the bank. It just means you have to talk reassuringly to her, look after her safety, and assure her when she needs it that things are going to be OK.

It also means coming to her protection, when she needs it. If someone is being a jerk to her, stand up for her. If she’s being threatened, fight for her. Let her know that you will fight for her, and nothing will get in your way.

One of the best ways to make her feel confident that you will protect her, of course, is to be…

4. A guy who’s in shape.

Okay, I said that you don’t have to be a professional rugby player to attract women, but that doesn’t mean you should let your body slide! Part of a woman’s evolutionary mechanism says that a man who is strong will protect her and the children, as well as produce strong children. Likewise, a man who is weak will produce weak children, and not be able to protect the family as well (if at all) It may occur subconsciously, but it’s there.

So show her your value by being a guy who’s well-built, healthy, and athletic. Join a gym, not just to get women but to improve your health and the way you see yourself. Join a martial arts class–who doesn’t like a guy who can kick some ass? You’ll feel better about yourself, making it easier to pick up girls, and her mating drive will only naturally attract her to you. It’s a win-win situation!

5. Someone who’s not boring.

Doesn’t matter how good looking you are…if you bore a woman to tears, she’s not gonna stick around–or even give you a chance, for that matter. Be someone who smiles. Someone who’s quick with a laugh. Someone who doesn’t take life too seriously, who lets loose. That shows a lot more value than a guy who’s stiff and serious–even if he is good looking or wealthy. Believe me, there are lots of guys who have money, who have good looks–but are single, because they’re dull and not fun to be around.

6. Someone who’s good with her friends.

You’ve seen it at bars: girls always look to their friends for their approval. Get their friends’ approval, and you get the girl’s approval.

Oftentimes it’s actually best to concentrate on getting to know the girl’s group of friends before you spend time talking to her. If you can make her friends laugh and enjoy your company, getting the girl you want will be a piece of cake!

I really like this piece of advice from Joseph Matthews, aka Thundercat, author of The Art of the Approach, in his free e-newsletter: “Meeting women when they are with their friends is WAY easier than waiting for when they are alone! This is because women with friends feel safe and relaxed, so their defenses aren’t up.”

Furthermore, he warns that you’re not doing your chances any favors by waiting til she’s alone: “If you wait until she’s by herself to meet her, you’re walking into a situation where she’s going to be WAY more defensive than usual.” So learn to be sociable, and just have fun with her friends! If you can make them enjoy your company, getting your “target’s” approval will be a piece of cake.

This is also where it’s good to go with girls in the same social network as you…you already have the approval of mutual friends. The book, Sex in America, says that 60% of married couples meet through friends, work, or mutual activities. For more information on using networking to your benefit, click here.

Finally, the trait all women REALLY want:

7. A man with a purpose.

Believe me, women don’t expect every guy they meet to be worth hundreds of millions of dollars, have more power than the mayor, and be more handsome than Brad Pitt. They don’t expect you to be wildly successful. But they DO want you to be headed towards success. They DO want you to have direction. They DO want you to be living up to your potential. And those aren’t bad expectations to have! Remember, “Behind every great man is a great woman.” You may not be at the top just yet, but as long as you’re heading there, with goals in life, you’re bound to attract women. And more importantly, reach your own personal success.

I highly suggest you read “The Way of the Superior Man,” by David Deida. It details the importance of having a life purpose, both for you and for your girlfriend or wife. The book also explains the very important idea that if someone doesn’t fit into your purpose, or detracts you from it, then she isn’t worth your time. As I said above, don’t just go for any old girl: go for the ones who fit YOU, and who make YOU a better person. That’s what we men should really want!

I hope all of this advice helps you out as you seek to improve yourself and attract the women who matter to you. Remember that it isn’t important to know what the bimbo who wants to spend all your money wants: it’s important to know what women who want to be with you want. Empower yourself by being choosy, and you’ll be sure to attract the woman who’s right for you.

Finally, for more information on attracting the specific women you really want, check out my e-book and audio series. Thanks for reading!

James Brito is the author of “How to Be Irresistible to Women.” His years of dating experience and international travel have tutored him in the art of meeting and seducing women the world over. His immersion in international dating circles brings forth a gritty, no-nonsense approach to dating and developing relationships necessary for the modern single man. Learn more about how to attract the woman of your dreams at: 

2 replies
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  2. Gina
    Gina says:

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